So, I wrote a ‘non-negotiable’ list not too long ago for the next guy I date. Basically, this is a list of things I want in a man and are sincerely non-negotiable in my book. He doesn’t have it = RED FLAG!! Well not entirely. A lot of the things listed are written out in detail. Even Matthew McConaughey can’t live up to those standards 😉 …totally joking!

It got me thinking. I am requiring all of these things from a human being who is flawed and imperfect, but I can’t even live these things out myself. These are expectations that only God could achieve, really. Soooo, first of all, grace needs to be lavished on others because I have been given so much grace (Ephesians 4:32 – “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you). Second of all, It make me think through the way I am living now. I am no where near to living up to the standard I am placing on others. How could I place such a high standard on others, when I can’t even get one of these right for a weeks time?! Therefore, it has now become my new “goal” list for the next couple of months and years of my life. I won’t be perfect at these things, just like a possible man in my future wont, but I am going to keep striving for these things in my life.

So here’s my ever-changing list…

1) WISE – thinks before acts. Slow to speak, slow to get angry, quick to listen. Seeks out counsel wiser than himself. Is not driven by his own desires but puts off his own desires for the good of those around him and to honor the Lord.
2) Outgoing and social – loves to entertain and welcomes guests, has deep friendships, able to hold a conversation with just about anyone.
3) Gospel-centered and driven – his life is guided by the Gospel.
4) Adventurous and willing to try new things – won’t settle for the same ol’, same ol’! Wants to try new restaurants, go on crazy wild dates, spontaneous but also a planner, creative, wants to go on trips and camp and hike and be “adventurous”!
5) Learner – seeks out counsel from older men, peers, and those younger than himself. Reads books. expands his mind and worldview within the scope of the Bible!
6) Loves traveling – enjoys different cultures, observing them, and serving them. Serving people in general.
7) Willing to correct me and push back on my ideas. Not intimidated by my stubbornness and strong-willed personality.
8) Positivity – balances out my cynical attitude.
9) Trust and jealousy – I can have guy friends, he can have girl friends – trust, trust, trust!! Trusts the Lord first and foremost so trusting me by trusting the Lord – also recognizes boundaries with the opposite sex, but doesn’t de-friend females and force me to de-friend males.Once again, is wise.
10) Faithfulness – Doesn’t make empty promises. Actions back up his words. Usually has less words and verbal promises, but actions take the place of needing to speak (for most – not all – cases).
11) Encourages vulnerability but within reason. Protects my heart, which means that sometimes he also discourages vulnerability and intimacy if the relationship is needing to slow down (assuming the context is a dating relationship still, not marriage).
12) Protects me – my heart, emotions, spirituality, etc.
13) Intentional in ministry and passionate about it. A passion that is specific not just general/broad. Knows the gifts that the Lord has given him and uses those to build up the church.
14) Within the previous answer, has a servants heart. Desires to serve others to exemplify Christ and to make much of Him, not to make much of his own self.
15) This one is kind of shallow, but well dressed. 😉 (not really a non-negotiable, but I can be hopeful).
16) Sense of humor – easy-going.
17) Cares about having a healthy lifestyle. I feed off of those around me [no pun intended 😉 ]. If those around me care about having a healthy lifestyle, I care about having a healthy lifestyle.

. . . .

To Be Continued… 🙂