The Lord is teaching me so much this week!!!!! I am so filled with joy in the midst of the storm because of it!!

The thing he is teaching me is gentleness.

What does that mean? How do you be gentle?

I was really struggling last night about what gentleness meant in my life and when correcting or even speaking with someone, how gentleness took its role in those things. I kept asking people, what gentleness means and how they have applied it to their lives. No one had a definitive, clear-cut answer. I got back to my room and me and my roommate started looking up verses regarding gentleness. Here they are:

1 Corinthians 4:21 “What do you wish? Shall I come to you with a rod, or with love in a spirit of gentleness?”

2 Corinthians 10:1 “I, Paul, myself entreat you, by the meekness and gentleness of Christ—I who am humble when face to face with you, but bold toward you when I am away!”

Galatians 5:22-26 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.”

Galatians 6:1 “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.”

Ephesians 4:1-7 “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift.”

1 Timothy 1:6 “But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.”

1 Timothy 3:2-7 “Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.”

2 Timothy 2:24-26 “And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.”

Titus 3:1-7 “Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.”

James 4:16-18 “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. “

1 Peter 2:18 “Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust.”

1 Peter 3:1-6 “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.”

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Gentleness most always deals with speaking and talking with someone. It most always deals with a form of correction or speaking truth into someone’s life. It most always deals with how one lives their life and their conduct.
Looking through these verses it is often coupled with: HUMILITY, MEEKNESS, QUIETNESS, CARING FOR SOMEONE, AVOIDANCE OF A QUARREL, BEAUTY, AND GOODNESS.

My freshman year of college we had to take a personality finder called Strengths Quest. It was a great thing and once you take the quiz, you are given your top 5 strengths. One of my strengths is “Developer.” This means that “[I] see the potential in others. Very often, in fact, potential is all [I] see.” The danger in this is that I often get discouraged when I don’t see the change occurring. This leads me to be a nagger or annoying. I can try to encourage so much that I over encourage and over nag. I get to the point of no longer being gentle because I get frustrated in not seeing change.

This is why learning how to be gentle is so important in my life! I want to be more like the Lord and follow him in every way! Jesus says in Matthew 11 that he is “gentle.” I want to be gentle. I want to see the potential in others and draw it out with gentleness, not harsh, nagging, annoying, irritating, meanness. I want to be gentle as the women in 1 Peter is gentle. She is so gentle that she leads her husband to the Lord without word. That is true gentleness!! I want to love others with the unconditional love that Christ showed. Sometimes that means “bearing with one another.” Sometimes that means “Long-suffering.” That means that I will have to not try to change a behavior that happens once in a blue moon, but change a pattern of sin. That I will have to bear and long-suffer right with them. Look to the sins in people that are ongoing and be gentle in calling them out in those and not in the one-time mess ups. And when those one time mess ups happen, I need to show grace that the Lord has given me by dying on the cross for my sins even though I am a wretched sinner. That is how I am supposed to live, not in a nagging, annoying, destroying way. I am called to build others up, not tear them down.

I am still learning so much, and this was a terribly long post, but the Lord is good and he is teaching me so much that I had to share! =) I will share more about gentleness as I learn more.

For all you women out there, whether single, dating, or married, this is a great blog post about how to build up the man in your life with words: One way how to be gentle: Affirming Your Man

To Be Continued… =)