Wounds, Needles, and Healing…

The Lord is so good.

I am writing this with 30 minutes left of my break for lunch during RA training. Everything feels busy right now. Life is whizzing by. My music residents move in on friday. Student Leaders moved in today. I have to have my hall done and decorated by tomorrow. The rest of my residents move in on the first which is in six days. We are in the process of finishing up the lobby decorations. Life is crazy. It is busy. But, the Lord is using all of this to shape me and mold me. That is for darn sure.

As I was walking back into the dorms after lunch, I had a wonderful conversation with my lovely “creative assistant” who is on staff with me, Tiffany. I had mentioned how things in my life right now are so uncomfortable. That my life just feels awkward and out of place. I am going through somewhat of an identity crisis. Losing who I was for the last three years of my life and gaining a new identity that Christ has given me (I like to think of myself before this summer Sarai and who I am now as Sarah HA-the Lord has given me a new name). Tiffany gave an analogy and I loved it. This summer, the Lord was slowly, but surely, patching up wounds that had been made on my heart. They were almost all the way healed before I got back to school. Certain circumstances have ripped them open once again; It hurts really bad and, sometimes, feels unbearable. My throat was tight and my eyes were welling up while she was talking. She said one day soon, the Lord will heal the broken-hearted and the crushed in spirit. He will heal the wounds that have been made. The Lord is taking the needle and piercing your skin to begin the healing process. And sometimes that is the hardest part.

As we walked into the freshly, decorated lobby, the word “unshaken” was posted in frames on the wall in front of me. I was stopped in my tracks. That word comes from Psalm 62:5-8 which is our dorm verse and theme. It says:

“For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah” (Psalm 62:5-8 ESV)

 This verse is probably the theme of my life right now. Life is hard. Life is so not a cake walk. But, the Lord is good. The Lord is shaping me and molding me into the woman of God he so desires me to be. He ALONE is my rock and my salvation. In him ALONE do I wait and do I place my hope in. I think my favorite line in that whole passage is the last one…we can trust in the Lord and he is our refuge, so we are able to pour out our hearts to him knowing that he will protect us, that he will catch us if we fall, that he has our best intentions even in the hard and unbearable circumstances, that he will save us, and that he is good. He is so completely and perfectly faithful, and through him we can be “UNSHAKEN.” 

To Be Continued… =)

The Help

I have so much on my heart and mind right now, I don’t even know where to start. I’ll start with the most recent, I suppose. I went to see “The Help” tonight. Right when it was over, I knew I wanted to write about it. I wasn’t sure how it would come across. I don’t want to offend anyone; in fact, I want to do the opposite and empower others to begin to write, think, and speak more about this issue.

This movie was so amazing. I’m at a loss of where to start. This movie was just too good. I am just so glad that someone would make such a great and inspirational film. It seems as if it is not often that someone has the guts to follow through with a movie like this, but when they do, it is a great thing. I couldn’t stop crying. When the movie was over, I looked back at the crowd and half of the theater was wiping their eyes right along with me.

Living in Southern California my whole life, it is hard to understand how a world like that could even exist. I am not used to the idea of blacks and whites not getting along and, even a step further than that, hating each other. They were living in a world where whites (my ethnicity) hated the blacks. One of my best friends, Kayla, is half black and half white. She is amazing and I love her to death. It is unfathomable to think that I could be living in a world where her birth would be completely out of the question.

The Lord, in Ephesians 2, constantly talks about how there is no longer a wall up of hostility. All ethnicities and nations can come and worship him with freedom. He shows the same grace to me, a white girl, as he does to Kayla, my best friend. This truth is remarkable.

On the way home from the movie, my friends and I were talking about how racism still occurs around the world, but even closer to home, it happens right in the Southern States of America. This makes me so angry. It makes me so sad. It makes me want to cry all over again. Knowing that a person who only has a different skin color than me is treated with such disdain and hatred makes me sick to my stomach. If the Lord says that there is no difference in Christ Jesus, what makes it right for people to make faulty declarations about them.  My challenge for everyone reading this, if you haven’t already, would be to watch “The Help” ASAP. Once you watch it, think about how the Lord and how his grace has saved you. Think about how you can make a difference in someones life like the woman in the movie, Skeeter, did. Standing up for truth and having courage while doing so is difficult, but so worth it even if you don’t get to see the truth come full circle like many of these women probably didn’t get to see.

Amazing.

I suppose I am not going to write about anything else. I am fading fast…I am so tired…

“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1 ESV).

“For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.”
(Ephesians 2:14-16 ESV)

Week One of Training – Check!

So I feel as if I have had such little time to spend blogging or even journaling in the last 3 weeks. My heart starts to grow really weary when I don’t get a time to let it all out. So here I am blogging on a nice Saturday off of the normal RA (resident assistant) training.

A few updates since I last blogged. My good friends the burns’ are moved into Lancer Arms…Such a relief for me, I can’t imagine how it feels for them. So now we are neighbors. So nice!

Two really sweet and super cute volleyball players moved on my hall. I am excited to get to know these girls a little better! So now I am no longer alone on this longgggg hall!

My staff is really awesome. I love the other women I get to work with so much. It is different than last year, which it most definitely should be, but getting used to this transition will be good and the Lord will work and move through that experience.

Other areas of life are interesting. I am in a different time of transition and it is a little harder than expected (to be quite frank). Not that it isn’t good, cause the Lord is definitely providing lots of learning experiences, but it is hard, still. I am looking forward to time passing because I keep hearing that ‘time heals all wounds’ and that ‘as time goes by it gets easier and easier’–Here’s to that being true. I am thankful for the days that the Lord has provided for me and looking forward to seeing Him be glorified through this time. The Lord is so good and so faithful and that hasn’t ceased since all of this began. That is so refreshing to remember!!!

Onto another subject, the dorm wide theme will be “unshaken” derived from Psalm 62:5-8. my hall theme has been decided and it stems from this video (if you haven’t seen this video, watch it NOW!!!). I am using muted colors like pink, tan, champagne, white, etc. Flowers every where. Beautiful verses that depict the Lord and his goodness and his life and freedom giving gospel every where! I am so looking forward to sharing with you all the finished product. Keep tuning in to see more updates about the hall decorations.

Looking forward to also sharing about what the Lord will be teaching me and drilling into me while I embark on the next year of my life…my senior year of college (whoa. weird to write.) 

~~~

Here are some recent pictures! Enjoy:
 



To Be Continued… =)

Bare Walls

So, since I haven’t posted in a long time, I figured today would be a great day to do that.

What is new in my life, you ask?

~My ‘Welcome to Simmons Hall 1C’ gift from my RD, Janelle~

Well, right now I am sitting in my dorm room, 147C, and enjoying the quietness of the hall after an amazing night of bon firing with the 2011-2012 Res Life family. It is my first night here and it hasn’t quite hit me yet that my summer is over and the school year/training has begun.

I am sure at 7:30AM tomorrow, it will hit me.

I am so excited for this opportunity. The Lord has blessed me with an incredible staff and new RD and I am thrilled to see what he is going to do!

It is almost like the hall is a clean slate. There is nothing in the walls, no one in the rooms, nothing in the desks or dressers, no clothes in the closet…nothing. There is so much potential. There is no where to go but up. There is nothing to do but to improve.

In some ways that is so comforting, but in another sense that scares me to death. What the heck have I gotten myself into signing up to be the RA of twenty-something girls who know nothing about CBU and might not know anything about Christ. I am supposed to be the person who gives a good presentation of both of those things. I feel no where near qualified.

BUT, in my fear and anxiousness, I remember that Christ is good and that Christ is sovereign. He always has and always will provide. He died on the cross to bring me life and to rule in my heart. That is no light thing. He is the Lord of the universe and he is residing in my heart. If I allow him to rule in my heart and guide my life, there is no telling how far I’ll go and how high I can jump. That is not to say there won’t be trials, because there will be. But, the Lord is going to walk me through each and every one of them and is going to use all the experiences I go through-like living in the dorms with twenty-something girls-to grow me, stretch me, expand my view point, break me, teach me, encourage me, love me, guide me, and so much more. The Lord is on my side, and if I obey him in this new experience as a freshman RA, he will provide the fruit. I need not worry, be anxious, or be fearful. He will provide.

Glasses

For those of you who cannot see and need glasses like myself, what was it like when you first got your glasses? Amazing, wasn’t it? 
What would you do if you had the opportunity to go to a third-world country (or even your own neighborhood) and give out glasses to all the people you see around you who are blind or have impaired vision? What would you do if you had the opportunity to give those glasses out for free of charge?
After not being able to see for the last couple of years of my life, this opportunity would be great. I know my vision is not as bad as some and I could even function without glasses, but to be able to share sight with those who could not see would be amazing.
I ask you these questions because this is the same way we should be toward the gospel. I have heard plenty of other examples shared. For example, if you had the cure for cancer you would have an urgency to tell every person diagnosed with cancer in order to cure them. Or, being able to give out the most amazing gift ever free of charge to the person receiving the gift wouldn’t you also have a sense of urgency? These are all great examples, but let me just elaborate on this a little bit.
I have grown up hearing and knowing the gospel. I grew up in church and in private christian schools my entire life. I know a lot of historical facts about the bible. I could sing pretty much every hymn or worship song that is played word for word. But, I never felt the urgency to share this free gift of grace that was given to me by Christ on the cross. 
I have brainstormed for a while about why I didn’t (and sometimes still don’t) have that sense of urgency about me. One of the biggest reasons I would say is that I didn’t truly know and have the gospel. I knew the details, but belief followed far behind. The things in this world were so much more appealing to me because they gratified my own selfishness. But, the Gospel has nothing to do with myself; It has everything to do with Christ.
While I can’t really pin point when I became a believer because most of my life was lived selfishly and sometimes still is, unfortunately, I can pinpoint now how the gospel has changed my life — just like sitting in the optometry section at Sam’s Club, trying on my new pair of glasses, changed my life. I now never go anywhere without my glasses, and especially as a believer, I never go anywhere without sharing that gift that Christ has given me because it is so beautiful and true.
~~~
I was sick, but now I am healed. 
I was deaf, but now I hear.  
I was depressed, but now I have joy. 
I was dead, but now I live. 
I was blind, but now I see.
~~~
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
 Romans 6:23 ESV

~~~


To Be Continued… =)

Tree Planted by Streams of Water

So, the Lord loves to just awaken my heart every time I open the book of Psalms. He really is the perfect provider and I love it. First of all, Psalm 1 is amazing:

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; for the LORD knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.” (Psalm 1 ESV)

It is amazing for several different reasons. For one, it is a short, sweet road map for a believer to live his/her life. If we, as believers, delight in the law of the Lord, in his word, we will bear fruit and prosper. What an amazing promise from the Lord!!!!!!

I spent some significant time journaling about this here subject and one of the other things that stood out to me was the part that talks about the wicked. It says that they are like “chaff that the wind drives away.” That line left me with my jaw dropped all the way to the floor. So often, even when I call myself a believer, I find myself being like “chaff that the wind drives away.” My emotions travel from happy to sad, from mad to content, from sad to overjoyed, or visa-versa. Even as I was reading that chapter couple mornings ago, I was angry and mad and frustrated and quite frankly over it. The Lord convicted my heart and calmed me down. As believers we are called to be different than the rest of the world. We are to be ‘not of this world.’ Our emotions need to be this way too. Living with our emotions and lives like chaff that the wind can simply blow away is most definitely of this world. We have been given the peace of God and joy in Him. That is not a small gift; that is remarkable. That is incomparable.

How do you be of Christ and not of this world? How do we take our thoughts and emotions captive? How do we not let ourselves be like “chaff that the wind drives away?”

It is plain and simple.

The answer is verses one to three:

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither.

 The answer is in this promise (John 16:33 ESV):

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

So,  basically:

trouble/tribulation
+
meditating on the law of the Lord
=
Peace from God 
We are going to have difficult lives. Guaranteed. We are going to go through valleys and lows that seem to never see the light of day. We are going to struggle. We are going to lose friendships and relationships. We are going to lose money. We are going to lose homes. We are going to emotionally feel completely  unstable.
Those things are guaranteed!
BUT
Christ has told us…he has PROMISED us… that if we find our delight in Him and meditate on his law day and night, we will be like trees planted by streams of water that will not wither but will prosper.
Those troubles and tribulation will become simple and easy because the knowledge of Christ is enough. He alone makes us dwell in safety…not plenty of money, a large home or any home at all, family, friends, husband/wife, bed to sleep in, food to eat, good health, or anything else. It is in Christ alone. (Psalm 4:8)  Having Christ can cause us to “lie down in peace and sleep” because we know that he came not to fulfill half of the problems in this world, but every single one of them.
One of my FAVORITE quotes is “Being in the Lords will is the safest place to be.”
Amazing.
Today, I pray that you rest in the Lord’s power and his will. It truly is the safest place to be.
Anyone else going through a valley and needing to rest in His perfect will? How has the Lord revealed Himself to you recently through scripture, a person, or just circumstances in life?
~~~
On a side note, I went to Kris and Sarah Corso’s wedding this weekend and was completely blessed by their union. The Lord is so good and does bless those who wait on Him. I will post a couple pictures later when I get home. I was so blessed to have been able to be there to witness the Lord’s goodness in their lives. He has transformed them by His grace; it brought me to tears! Thank you, Lord.



To Be Continued… =)

Glory in Him

“Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord. To write the same things to you is no trouble to me and is safe for you. Look out for the dogs, look out for the evildoers, look out for those who mutilate the flesh. For we are the circumcision, who worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh—though I myself have reason for confidence in the flesh also. If anyone else thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness under the law, blameless. But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.”
(Philippians 3:1-11 ESV)
 
~~~

I have been studying this passage this week. It has been a joy!! I just wanted to share a couple things that the Lord has illuminated in my heart this week through this passage:

  • Worship comes solely from the Lord. Anything we do comes from the strength of the Lord. (verse 3)
  • In order to gain Christ, we must lose all things. (verse 7-8)
  • Righteousness of God is born of faith and faith only. It is even dependent on it. (verse 9)
  • Though Paul had a lot of success in life, or as he calls it “gain”, he considers it loss for the sake of Christ. (verse 4-8)
  • Paul realized that that “gain” in life was righteousness from the ‘law’ and in order to have the righteousness of God that is dependent on faith, he had to lose and even be willing to give up the things of the world. (verse 8-11)
  • Our goal as believers is to worship the King, glory in Him, and place absolutely no confidence in the flesh. (verse 3-4)
  • Gain in this world, even religiously, is righteousness of my own that comes from the Law. (verse 4-5)
  • We count all things as rubbish so that we may know him, the power of the resurrection, and that we may share in his suffering. (verse 10-11)

More on Philippians 3 later as I study this passage and the remainder of the chapter next week. Obviously this isn’t any deep theology, but just observations.

Any body else read through these passages and found observations that they would like to contribute?

To Be Continued… =)

Twists and Turns

Forewarning: This post is going to be a little on the longer side…the Lord is just too good for a short post today!! =)

~~~ 

So, today was a good day. It was one of those days where you just wake up and know the Lord is going to move and work. That became true very quickly.

A little recap – I woke up and got ready in record time with spare time to spend in the Word. It was so refreshing to wake up and unexpectedly have extra time. The Lord provides. I left for work craving more time with Him. I prayed that the Lord would give me the opportunity to spend more time with Him throughout the day. During lunch, I ate with my mom. She got to work late so ate lunch quickly so she could clock in and get to work to start her day. Thus, I got an extra 30 minutes to spend in prayer and reading through some Psalms. Then, I even got to share a couple of those verses with friends (via twitter – ps. I’ve fallen in love with Twitter. Never thought I’d see the day. I swore against it for a while). Then, at about 2:30-3:00 someone walks into ResLife. I look up and my good friend Ashley walks through the door. Such a sweet, sweet surprise.

After work ended, I go to Starbucks because I have about an hour and a half before I have to go tutor one of my youth girls. I walk in, order my usual [Grande Iced Caramel Macchiato Upside Down Light Ice – just in case anyone wants to ever get me one randomly – totally kidding 😉 ]. I start to walk to the counter to wait for my drink and I hear some say “Sarah!!” I look up and my friend Jessica is there from church. She ended up having a half an hour or so to talk before she had to leave so we went and sat at a table. It was such a good and encouraging conversation. The Lord is just teaching us both similar things – how to submit to his will no matter how uncomfortable or out of our plans that is. The Lord knew we both needed that conversation. -Thank you, Lord, for bringing us both to Starbucks today!-

She had to leave. As I was walking back to my table to start journaling and spending time with just me and the Lord, what I had wanted to do for the majority of the day, this man who was sitting next to us pipes in and tells me that he overheard our conversation and that he thought it was awesome that we both have traveled so much at such a young age (that is totally true- the Lord has totally provided and blessed me with those opportunites, he is good!!). He went on to explain that he was a believer and that he had gone to Harvest for a long time and is now at an Eastern Orthodox church. He said that listening to our conversation, and how we were so committed and driven by our faith in Christ, made him want to get back to his faith and be more serious about the God he claimed to serve. I encouraged him to keep seeking out the truth of the God of the Bible and to filter all things by the truth of the Word and the Gospel message! So awesome to see how the Lord works….he is so faithful to provide for everyone always. Sometimes we need to be more open and aware of the things he is doing in our lives. I have the tendency to just try to fix everything and plan everything on my own that I lose sight of what he is doing and how he is working in my life. Or so driven on my own desires and plan of spending my own one on one time with the Lord when he had encouraging conversations for me planned!! I am thankful that he opened my eyes to them and allowed me to have the time to have those!

I left after that conversation, went to go tutor, got to spend some good quality time doing ALGEBRA!!! Secretly, I have a love for that subject. I know I am a nerd. I am okay with that. I had braces. I now have glasses. And I love slope intercept form. Don’t judge. =) I used to want to be an algebra teacher until I found out I had to do all other kinds of math in order to teach just that subject. At least I still get opportunities to help people in it. I seriously really really enjoy it. I would do math all day if that was okay. Anyways, that was over, I went to youth group and Walter taught because Brandon is in the Philippines. He spoke on exactly what I needed to hear and be reminded of. He spoke of how we need to be unified in Christ as the church and how that love and unity should define us because Christ gave up his life to do so. One section he taught on highlighted Philippians 2. This is what I have been studying in my times with the Lord the last 2 weeks. It was so awesome to have studied that and been able to see the ties from the front of the chapter to the back. The Lord has been so faithful to provide me with wisdom and understanding in those times with him. He has illuminated so much.

The theme that the Lord showed me this week is that in love and service to others (believers and unbelievers) needs to be characterized by humility. Christ, by coming to this earth and dying on the cross, humbled himself by taking on human form when he was the omnipotent God, took on all of our sins so we could be guilt and blemish free. AMAZING! Then later on in the chapter, Paul is talking about his own life and how he pours himself out as a drink offering to sacrifice himself so that others might be strengthened in their faith (verse 17). Also, AMAZING! This is what we need to do as believers. In verses three to eight, it talks about how the we are to do nothing out of selfishness, basically, and how we are to follow the example of Christ and lay down our lives for others, even to the point of death on a cross. This example is phenomenal and mind-blowing!

He points out in vv 14-16 how we are to not complain or question anything that happens in our lives. This goes back to the conversation that I had with Jessica. Part of submitting to the Lord’s will is accepting with joy all that the Lord has for us no matter the consequences in the world or the change of our own plans for our lives. It says to do everything without questioning. We do this because if we were to question it that would show that we don’t trust the Lord. When we trust the Lord, we end up shining as lights in a crooked and twisted generation (vv. 15).

Lastly, it says that we are to hold fast to the Word of Life. SO CRUCIAL!! If we do all those things, but don’t hold fast to the word of life, we miss the point. We are doing all of those things for the wrong reasons and wrong motives. Everything we do – living selflessly and loving others in humility – has to be driven by Christ’s grace and mercy in our lives. We must and have to be fueled by the gospel, otherwise all of this work is going to fail. Works that are driven by legalism and our own power are worthless (Ephesians 2).

I had my own plan for the day, how I wanted it to go, how I wanted to spend my time, and the Lord totally changed that around. He made it so much better! I tweeted earlier that I was “excited for a new day… Looking forward to all the twists and turns this life brings and all Lord has to teach me through the process!!” He sure did throw in some twists and turns and taught me so much through that process. The Lord is good! He ALWAYS provides!!!!!

 

Old Files

So, more recently at work I have been going through old files for students who lived on campus. It is pretty interesting. In the old applications, students included pictures of themselves in the application – Oh, how the styles have changed. It is not the most entertaining task I have done, but it is cool to see where people before me have lived.

This really got me thinking about life and how soon, in less than a year, I will be one of those old files that the next receptionist will go through, trash all the old condition reports, put my name on a sheet of paper, and shove it in some file in the store room not to be looked at again for years.

How did the last 4 years of my life fly by so quickly? And even more, what have I done here at CBU that will go on past a file that will soon be replaced with the next freshman girl?

It made me really excited for this next year. I don’t want to just be a mediocre RA again. I don’t want to be just another student in the CBS major that just does enough work to get me an “A.” I don’t want to be just another college friend who was here today and gone tomorrow after graduation. Life is completely and utterly fleeting. Soon, my life will end, and I will be just a speck of dust that the next generation will walk on. Life is interesting that way.

I am still really pondering and brainstorming this idea. But, I need to find my identity solely in Christ since soon life will end and I will know nothing but Him.

How can we live for today to impact tomorrow? How can we make an impact on this time in History? How can our life not just leave with us when we die, but travel past the grave? How do we live in the knowledge that Christ is all we need and our only identity since our lives are fleeting?

Sweet Whispers to the Lord

So, I have journaled religiously for the last 4 years. Started my senior year of high school and haven’t stopped since. It is pretty therapeutic for me actually. After I journal, it is almost as if I have dropped a backpack full of bricks from my shoulders and can think clearly. Along with my journals being filled with information about the past, it is also filled with prayers, sweet prayers, of how my God has provided for me and protected me. 
I am not saying this for you to feel bad for me, but I have been through a lot in the last 4 months; I say this to show how great my God is. All through the journal I was reading through just today, listed was prayer after prayer, whispers to the Lord for his help, strength, contentment, wisdom, love, faithfulness, goodness, kindness, peace, and grace. Reading through my most recent journal that I have almost completed, I have seen the Lord answer those whispers softly back to me in the most intimate way that only my Lover could do.
This morning I was looking through one of the journals I had recently finished up to find an event that had happened in my life before my boyfriend and I broke up. It was a pretty significant event but I couldn’t remember all the details. I was positive that I wrote it in the journal, but alas, I had not. As I was trying to find this event, I remembered more of the details. 
It was a school night and one of our good family friends was visiting us. She normally would go to my families house to visit, but we were all busy with homework and work so she visited CBU instead and then went out to dinner with my parents. Before she left, she wanted to give us a gift. That gift was a word of knowledge from the Lord. Normally, I am not so keen on those things because I get worried that someone is just spatting off words and not really hearing the truth from the Lord. This was quite the opposite. The reason I know this is that after the fact, it has proven true. (Note: those of you who have been given a word of knowledge by someone, please please please test it with scripture!!!!)
She said to me that the Lord is going to cover me like a warm, blue, fuzzy blanket. She said that it would almost feel like I was wrapped in the clouds. She had said that in this time the Lord was going to become my comfort and my lover. That he was going to provide for me and keep me safe and warm inside of his arms. How could I have forgotten that? It is only after the fact that I remember.
I wept when she told me that. I wept because I knew the Lord was going to completely rock my world and break me of the sins and idols I had built in my life. A month or so later, he did. I became single even after less than six months before I thought I would be married this summer. I had to completely depend on the Lord. The Lord became my comforter and lover. He was so quick to jump to provide for me. And that is what he is doing now. He is filling me with a peace that is beyond comprehension. Joy that is indescribable. A grace for people and circumstances that I never though I would have. This love and grace could only come from the Father.
And as I read through the journal that I wrote in just today, I cannot thank my God enough. I cannot stand here and not give the glory to Him. Because he has provided time and time again. Even when I thought my world was going to end. Even when I thought my life was over. He was there carrying me through the storm. And, ironically enough, the journal I have now is based off the “Footprints in the Sand” poem by Mary Stevenson. If you haven’t read that poem, please go to that link and read it. That poem describes my life the last 4 months. The Lord is so good!

To Be Continued… =)