Category: Wisdom

Ducks and Dust Bunnies

Published on by Sarah E. CooleyLeave a comment

“But how will you teach him if you aren’t a credentialed teacher?” “What curriculum will you use?” “How will you socialize him?” “What do you plan to do for high school? You don’t plan on going all the way through, right?” “What if they exceed your knowledge, what then?” “What if he is struggling in math or reading, what will you do?”

Back in 2018 or 2019, our family made the decision to homeschool. Our first born was around 3.75 years old and about to be ready for TK the coming year, and I was just about to sign him up for the public school around the corner from our house. I remember thinking that I just needed him out of the house so I could have some sense of sanity. I had a 2 year old and a newborn.

Through some circumstances in California and our own personal convictions, we were pushed out of the public school system and forced to either use a homeschool charter school or to privately homeschool our son.

The questions above I vividly remember. I had just come to the decision to homeschool and was at a neighbors house. My son was playing with their goat (lol), and I was talking with the handful of other moms in their backyard, who all happened to be teachers. My neighbor was a credentialed, veteran teacher only 5 years from retirement. I had nothing behind my name except a degree that had nothing to do with teaching my kids english or math.

I responded to the last question about math struggles with “I don’t know, I suppose I’ll put him in Kumon” to which they all kind of laughed. I nervously and insecurely laughed “with” them.

I wish I could be in that conversation with my younger self. Encouraging her every step of the way. Discouraging the naysayers. Encouraging the young, feeble, now-deflated me: You’ve got this. You don’t need the official credential. You don’t need to even know before hand what you are teaching. You need a conviction from the Lord, faith that he will provide everything you will need, and faithfulness to walk each day into what he has called you to.

As I was reading Romans this morning, this verse popped out of the page to me: “Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them…,” (Romans 12:6a, ESV).

LET US USE THEM! Did you read that? We have been given gifts, and we are called to use them. Not shrink back in fear or discouragement, but to move forward in strength and faith. And lets be honest, to homeschool, you do need strength and faith. It takes an inordinate amount of strength to teach your dyslexic 5 year old how to read. It takes an inordinate amount of faith to trust that the work you are putting in will reap fruit 13 years down the line.

But, God is faithful. What I love about following Jesus is that I don’t have to worry about the outcome. He has already told me that he will provide, I just need to put my trust in him.

So, if you are a new homeschool mom. Or maybe, you’re just like I was, about to start your journey and have gotten nothing but naysayers or discouragment, listen to me: if the Lord calls you to homeschool, he will provide everything you need.

One of my favorite verses speaks just to this:

“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire,” (2 Peter 1:3–4, ESV).

He has granted to us ALL THINGS that pertain to life and godliness. It is through his divine power that we are even able to live a life of godliness. It is through his power that we receive what we need for life and to escape the corruption of this world.

You don’t have to have the 4 year degree and credential. You don’t have to have the math lesson all figured out. You don’t have to have your house in order. You don’t have to have all your ducks in a row. Most of my ducks are wandering off somewhere, probably under the couch with the dust bunnies like the rest of the toys that have gone missing in my house.

And to be sure, I have encountered every on of those questions in my journey of homeschooling. My son is starting math lessons that exceed my knowledge. My daughter has dealt with dyslexia and has reading challenges. We have created a community to ensure my children and myself have good friends. I’ve wondered myself what curriculum we will use year after year. But guess what…

God knows just what you need. He knows just what your child needs. He will provide; he is faithful to do so. I’m proof of that!

A re-introduction.

Published on by Sarah E. CooleyLeave a comment

Hello blogging world. It’s been a while. Almost 3 years actually. Which is mind blowing. It seems like yesterday when I would sit down and pump out three blogs a week.

And here I am having not spent time writing for myself in three years. I miss it.

Bear with me as I work out all the kinks and remove the rust.

How about we start with a hello again. A re-introduction, if you will.

My name is Sarah. I’m a wife and a mom, a friend and a highly ADHD mind that relies on systems and alarms to keep my life moving.

I currently homeschool my four kids. My oldest is in 5th grade and my youngest is 4. And they are like stair steps every two years. Next month I will have a 5, 7, 9, and 10 year old… and a few months later, my 10 year old will turn 11. A decade of life went faster than I could ever imagine. I know the next decade will do the same.

We spend a lot of our homeschool time reading great books, drawing and painting, gardening, and eating (iykyk).

I currently lead a group of women and their children in a homeschool community group. We aren’t a co-op. We aren’t a charter. We aren’t affiliated with one specific church. Rather, we spend a lot of time together at the park, talking about the Lord, going on field trips and celebrating holidays and birthdays together. We really only miss the Friday of thanksgiving week. 🤪 We sit around talking about what God is teaching us and relishing in these fleeting days!

In this blog, I will mainly focus on homeschooling and motherhood. One might assume that someone writing a blog on those two subjects has perfected the subjects they are writing on. Goodness, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. In fact, I am often quite a mess and have to ask my children for forgiveness often.

However, even though I’m not perfect, I have a lot of things I believe the Lord has put on my heart to share. The last year I have felt the Lord nudging and stirring in me to move forward. In what, I’m not quite sure. But I’m stepping forward and doing what I believe he has gifted me in: encouraging moms in the trenches of motherhood, marriage, and homeschooling.

If you read this far, thank you! I know this wasn’t an exhaustive introduction, but I hope you’ll stick around! 💗

~~~

“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace,” (Numbers 6:24-26, ESV).

A Christmas card of sorts. 2023.

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Today is Boxing Day at our home, but I realized I never got a chance to share our ornaments for this year. And I never sent out Christmas cards, so here goes…

This year was a year of growth for our family. And with growth, there is always growing pains. We had the usual character growing pains, the added activities which were stretching, spiritual growth and discipline that lent itself to growth in other ways.

Here’s a bit about our family this year and a description of each ornament:

Mid July, Jackson lost his front permanent tooth in a freak accident at the park trying to climb up a wet slide. This challenged Jackson in many ways. He not only had to be strong and brave, but he had to have patience while waiting for it to heal. A challenge for our rambunctious almost 9 year old. I have seen so much growth from him this year in controlling emotions, being flexible, and being willing to join in the mundane of life. He is so passionate. He loves drawing, Nintendo, science, and writing.

Joanna joined gymnastics in March and boy has she blossomed. She went from a naturally talented but untrained gymnast, to now learning a back handspring and mastering her back walk over. She is excelling and it is so fun to watch her. She has had to learn discipline in so many different ways. The process of practicing has taught her to keep trying over and over again, even when you fail. Eventually you will have the strength to master that trick. A life lesson for all of us. I have also seen her grow in competence in the everyday life tasks. She is helpful, capable, and a joy to be around.

Jenelle has always been our independent player. She has loved playing by herself, having mom or dad to herself, or a toy to herself. A true third born, craving independence in a house full of people. This year, we have seen her come so far in including others. She’s not perfect, as if any of us are, but she has come so far. She loves playing with the neighbors, her cousins, and her siblings. She still loves her independence, but I love watching her grow and stretch in this area. She is such a sweet heart and so spunky.

And little jakey! Conquered so many new things this year. Potty training, a big boy bed, swings, riding his balance bike, building magnatiles and not just knocking them down, loving his siblings well, and so much more. Three might be my favorite age, which is weird to say since three was my hardest with my first two kids. Jakey is a goofball. He loves all sports and cars/trucks. He has especially taken to golf, like dad.

Eric has been challenged at work this year. The economy was not his friend. He had to pivot and try all kinds of new things to drum up sales, but ultimately he pulled through and we are on our way to an all expense paid trip to Cabo in the spring because of his hard work.

He has also grown spiritually, joining a discipleship group with other men in our home group. I have seen him grow leaps in bounds in fighting sin and growing in his likeness to Christ. With that said, he has almost 3 years sober. I never thought I’d be able to write those words. Praise God for His work in Eric’s life!

And me, I spent the first 8 months so disciplined. And then we got a puppy in September and my hard work went out the window. I stopped waking early, being consistent in time in scripture, walking, or eating how I had really wanted.

But, I decided not to wait until January 1st to get back on the bus. I spent the week before we went on our trip waking early again, starting a laundry routine, getting into the word. And we returned from our trip with the stomach bug and now a cold. I got about two good days in working on getting back into the swing of things, then ended up with a cold. Still trying to accomplish something once a day, but it’s not been easy while not feeling 100%.

Homeschooling has been such a blessing this year. We dropped out of Classical Conversations after last fall, which provided the extra margin to really dive into homeschool and find a love for it again. 2022-23 school year was not enjoyable for any of us. We lacked the ability to have a routine and didn’t love the curriculum we were using.

This year we all have loved different aspects of the school year. We have been able to have a routine. Joanna loved math the most, using the good and the beautiful curriculum. Jackson loved language arts the most, using curriculum from the Institute of Excellence in Writing. I loved our history and science curriculum, reading through the Brambly hedge and the Vikings – using beautiful feet book bundles. Getting to implement water color and nature.

I have seen each of them excel. It’s been so encouraging after the last year of being very discouraged. If you’re feeling discouraged in your homeschool/schooling journey, don’t be afraid to switch things up. The worst that can happen is you have to go back to what you were doing. No harm, no foul.

Our homeschool group has grown so much this year. We had 70+ people come to our field trip in October. Riverside Homeschoolers has gone on all kinds of field trips and had so many fun celebrations and get togethers. We have loved playing at the park week after week, exploring the surrounding areas of the park, painting and watercoloring, and my favorite, hanging with other moms who are walking through the same journey as we are. Let me know if you’d be interested in joining us on any given week!

We have loved 2023. It’s been a year full of blessings and love. Lots of togetherness. We have enjoyed camping together for the first time, lots of outside time playing, gardening, and swimming. Lots of home projects and changes around the house. Lots of activities – soccer, baseball, gymnastics, and piano. Lots of church fellowship – weekly services, Bible study’s, book clubs, discipleship groups, and homegroup. Homegroup this year has been so sweet! We are so grateful for these things/people which have grown us and shaped us. We have so much to be grateful for! Here’s to a joy-filled 2024 full of God’s blessings!

Sonke family camping trip!
Camping in SD!
Great Wolf lodge for Jackson’s birthday!
Our garden!!!
Our homeschool group!
Our home group at trivia night!
All the precious mamas of Riverside Homeschoolers!
Our church and some of my favorite lyrics.
Weekly Bible study!

Our Christmas ornaments of remembrance this year:

Our first year camping was a success!
We went to Puerto Rico in March for Eric’s presidents club trip!
New York City at Christmas as dreamy!
We welcomed cuddly Bluey – a golden doodle – to the family in September!
Nellie LOVED Barbie’s and dolls this year! Imaginative play is her favorite right now.
Jacob learned how to swing this year! and so many other firsts!!!
Jackson lost his front permanent tooth in a traumatic experience in July. And many follow up appointments since.
Jojo has almost been a gymnast for a year!

Balm to a Mother’s Weary Soul

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Motherhood is this endless cycle of pursing righteousness, failing, repenting and asking forgiveness, then once again starting again. Many times during these long days of mothering and homeschool, it is so easy to get lost in the hard.

Cleaning the 17th mess of the day at only 8:00am. Refereeing the 15th squabble of the morning. Protecting the older three’s Magnatile castle from Jakey – affectionately known as Godzilla. Reminders to not talk during story time. Wiping boogers. Picking up half drawn artwork from the dining room table and floor. Corralling the dogs away from the food left out. Instructions in math and language arts that are met with frustration. Each separately can lead a soul to despair, not to mention each one of those perpetually poking at a mother’s weary soul day after day.

Then this: All on their own – they opened their Bible’s this morning and started working on their memory verses from church.

I would love to say that this was the magic key that corrected their wrong behaviors and instilled a deep love for each other and the Lord. But, as any beautiful *Kodak* moment goes, it’s often met with a reality check.

As they were all sitting down reading, One of the girls is snarky with her siblings. They all pipe in with their retorts. And I am reminding them why we do Bible reading in the first place. A reminder even I need.

In our Christian culture here in America (and I’m sure some struggle with this elsewhere in the world), it’s so easy to do the things that make us look like a good Christian, yet forgetting why we do them in the first place.

Last night, at my church’s women’s Bible study, we talked about Exodus 26-27 (and Leviticus 24) and the plans for the tabernacle. In it, the table was referenced. On the table is the bread of presence. 12 loaves to represent the 12 tribes of Israel. Each one a reminder to the Israelites of their covenant with God. And each one a reminder to rest in God’s promises, His provision for them.

Like the bread of presence, we have a similar table this side of the new covenant. Jesus’ body and his blood – the bread and the wine. We are instructed to do this in remembrance of Him. Similarly, the Israelites were instructed to do this every sabbath as a remembrance of the covenant they had with God – a perpetual due.

Then a friend at my table asked (paraphrased), “if this meal was so significant to the Israelites, and we have a new and better covenant through Jesus’ blood, why don’t we take communion as seriously as they did?”

Woof. How often do we, as those apart of a covenant with Jesus’ perfect blood, take communion seriously? Or furthermore, any part of church seriously? How often do we sing the same songs and recall the same verses over and over again without thinking of the gravity of what we have been blessed with?

We head to church and smile as we walk through the doors while 10 minutes prior we were yelling at our kids or arguing with our spouse.

We read our bibles and 10 minutes later snap at our kids.

We raise our hands at worship to only write our to do list for the day/week during the sermon or space out thinking about our grocery list.

We discipline our children, then turn and do the same things we instructed them not to do.

As I corrected my child this morning, I realized how guilty I often am of the same thing she did.

And yet, just like for my child, His grace abounds toward me! No sacrifice I could ever make would suffice to bring me to God. No deed could ever be adequate to pay the debt that I owe. It is by his grace and his shed blood that I can approach his throne with confidence. As Hebrews says, it is there that we find mercy and grace to help us in our times of need. Without Jesus’ shed blood, our ability to do any good would be impossible. All would fall short (Romans 3:23). It is because of His blood that we can worship Him, can draw near to Him, and can approach Him.

So thankful for this reminder today as the last few weeks have been tough. I regularly fail. Hundreds of times during the day at least. But one thing is true, His help is what I need – and that is found before His throne. Not in finished laundry. Not in a perfect homeschool day. Not in a perfectly manicured home or self. Not in strong adult friendships. Not in well behaved kids or a perfect marriage. Those are just a façade. None will ever happen perfectly, some will never happen at all (especially laundry ;). Each distracts my gaze from the true provider and covenant maker. So my meditation this week is to trust in His work. When I’m tempted to trust in myself, I pray I can turn my gaze to His throne and trust the only one who can bring true help, rest, and provision…the balm to this mother’s weary soul.

Jacob James’ Birth Story

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Written on instagram, copied to my blog

“After weeks of waiting, baby Jacob James arrived yesterday morning (11/8/2020) around 8:30am.

His middle name is after my oldest brother Marty’s middle name who died on January 3rd of cancer. It’s been a tough year all around, but seeing God’s goodness through this new life has continued to bring such joy and peace that he has all things under control and that he is the perfect author of our stories – through life and death, sorrow and joy, pain and healing.

Contractions started and woke me up at 2:30am, I texted my midwife, Tessa, that “today is the day!!!” around 5:30, they got too intense to continue in bed around 6:00, she arrived at 6:30, my kids left with grandma around 7:00, I got in the tub and labored for another 1.5hrs, pushed a few times, and he arrived.

My husband noted how this labor was unlike any other. At a certain point in my past births, I scream out “I can’t do it!” But I remember throughout the contractions and between them praying for strength and praying the Lord would protect me and help me. It truly was so beautiful, and I’m grateful even in these things, God provides!

He weighed 8.2lbs, 20 3/4in, 14cm head circumference, and covered in vernix like his sister Nellie. He’s the sweetest little addition and the kids are obsessed. I can’t wait to share more photos and videos of all the beautiful and fun interactions in the last 24 hours. 💗”

A Gentle Answer

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As a parent, the temptation to let out a harsh word is often. A kid spills purple paint onto your grey rug (happened yesterday). Another says tells a friend they don’t want to go to their party (happened yesterday). Then that morning threw a tantrum over getting caught playing video games before school and chores, then when given grace, chose to continue to play and get it taken away the rest of the day – but I’m the problem. And yet another hit their sister (happened yesterday). And just 40 minutes ago, another of my kids snuck upstairs into their room with a cup full of chocolate chips thinking I wouldn’t hear or notice. 

I’m honestly sitting here dumbfounded about the last 24 hours. Beyond having major instances of disobedience/sneakiness/accidents, we had some kids do some mean things *to* my kids. Mama bear was emerging. Another temptation for a mean, harsh word. 

But I’ve found mama bear even comes out when my kids get sneaky or disobey. I have a strong desire to see my kids grow up to love the Lord and walk in his ways, often I let those desires turn into idols. So when they do not do as I expect they should, my mama bear comes out in desperation to get them to see the error of their ways and conform to my image of what they should be. 

Just this week, I came across proverbs 15:1 and have been meditating on it. However, not enough. 

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” 

My heart wants to scream a harsh word in desperation to get them to fall into line. But that’s not the way. That’s not what God has called me to. He has called me to love and extend grace. 

When someone hurts my kid, yes, I protect them if necessary, but ultimately, I extend grace. We have all been there – been the one to hurt someone else. We have said a word we didn’t (or did) mean that was hurtful. We have favored a friend leaving another out. We have yelled at others when a soft answer was necessary. We’ve hit siblings and snuck chocolate and disobeyed our parents. And yet, Jesus has still extended that grace to me. 

Ephesians 2:1-10 says, “[1] And you were dead in the trespasses and sins [2] in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—[3] among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

[4] But God, 

being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, [5] even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—[6] and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, [7] so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. [8] For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, [9] not a result of works, so that no one may boast. [10] For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

Because of God’s rich grace and mercy being lavished on us, even when we were dead in our trespasses (our deeds), we have been made alive in CHRIST! 

It is nothing I have done. Only his works which has made me alive. So none of my harsh words can change my children’s hearts (or their friends). It is only God. So this morning I’m practicing letting down my mama bear claws and breathing. Praying for my children’s hearts. Praying for my children’s friends hearts. Praying they each get to experience the same grace I have experienced. 

Still not sure how to address the chocolate sneaking that happened 40 minutes ago, but praying God gives me the right words to say to extend that same grace he lavished on me.

Jenelle Elise – Homebirth

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Our third baby. Different than the first two in that we opted to bring this baby into this world at our home. Different in that we waited to find out the gender. And different because we had two older kids at home already. 

We had done this twice. We knew the gig. Breathing is important, water is important and movement is important. But, we also knew baby #3 could totally surprise us and do things differently.  

My whole pregnancy, I was so eager to birth this baby. To be able to do it in the comfort of my home and with a midwife who supported me and my wishes was so exciting. My two previous births were marked by friction between me and the hospital staff. As much as we tried to be peaceful, getting the birth you want (natural, without meds or even mention of meds) you have to get ready to be stern and “put up a fight.”  It left some bittersweet memories from those two births. Needless to say, I was so excited to have a different experience. Now to the story. 

Leading up to the day of baby #3’s birth around 37.5 weeks, I was having early, steady contractions starting the Thursday before she was born. Also happening was a terrible sickness making its way through our house. I told my midwife what was going on and her advice was to And also to load up on vitamin C to keep the sickness at bay. And to take an Epsom salt bath with lavender oil and to lay down and rub my belly with lavender. Every time, the contractions stopped. Thank God. In desperation, Eric called my mother in law to come early to help. She drove all the way out from Texas to be with us and help with the older kids. Which would later turn out to the the biggest blessing! All weekend long, even with not doing much more than laying around, the contractions continued. 

Tuesday, November 13th was not an ordinary day to begin with. It was Joanna’s 2nd birthday. I had growth group at church in the morning then after naptime, grandparents were coming over for dinner, cake to celebrate, and a movie at the theater! We were all so excited. 

Everything was going as planned that day. I woke up and got the kids ready to go for a morning with Grandma. Made breakfast. Made my coffee. I went to growth group at church; they went with grandma. I had some cramping that felt like period cramps but no contractions that morning. During growth group, I was sitting next to our leader. Typically, I take prayer requests and send them out to the group. I leaned over to her and quietly suggested that she take them down since I was feeling “off.” Sure enough, during the prayer I had a giant contraction. I took lavender out and rubbed it on my belly and it did nothing. I decided to head home promptly after the group ended. On the way, I called Eric. He was in a meeting at Starbucks. I said, “just a heads up, I might be in labor….” he yells out, “hey so and so, I’ve gotta go, my wife is having a baby!!!” I quickly talk him down…”no no noooo, I am just in labor, no need to rush, you’ve got plenty of time.” He says ok, finishes up his meeting and heads back to the office awaiting my call. 

I got home, and hopped in an Epsom salt bath… contractions not missing a beat. I laid down and texted my mom, Eric, and the midwife giving them a heads up that things weren’t slowing down. Contractions were every 7 minutes apart. I text my mom and tell her I’m having some painful contractions but it would still be awhile and that I would text her. 

The kids get home from being with grandma around noon. At this point I was still semi in denial that the baby would come any time soon. Charlie goes off to run an errand. I put the kids down for their nap. 

Then I have a panic moment. I’m home alone, in labor, with the kids. What if I have this baby quickly. I call Eric and tell him to come home since the contractions were ramping up. 

I hop in the shower as hot as I can stand it and rock back n forth with the water hitting my back. Then contractions get closer. 

Eric gets home and starts asking tons of questions. I’m still in denial. 

“Should I call the midwife?” 

“Should I fill up the tub?” 

“Should I boil hot water?” 

“Should I call your mom?” 

No. No. No. No. 

All questions I should have said yes too. Ha!! 

Thankfully Eric doesn’t listen to me and goes out into the living room and calls the midwife and texts my mom. 

Lindsey, my midwife, shows up and starts getting to work. She helps get the tub blown up, all the supplies ready, etc. 

I start feeling Iike I need to push. They get me into the tub and start filling it up. At this point, I’ve used all the hot water up. There is about 3 inches of lukewarm water. They have to shut the water off because I can’t deliver a baby in cold water. 

(I may get this part mixed up as far as the timeline goes. It all gets a little blurry once I got into the tub.) 

While in the tub, I kept wanting to sit down thinking that it would ease my pain, but goodness it made each contraction worse. I stood back up and braced against Eric. Then I decided to kneel against the wall of the tub. Just how I birthed Joanna. Sure enough, this was the position. I could bend over far enough to get relief and help in pushing.

Except nothing was happening when I had pushed. I kept saying nothing was happening. Lindsey said it probably felt that way because my bag of water hadn’t broken yet. She told me to reach up and feel. Sure enough, a squishy bag of water. 

At this point, since I was pushing, I was really worried my mom wouldn’t make it. I kept asking for an update…where is she, is she gonna make it. She walked in while I was pushing. Thank God! 

During each contraction and push, I really felt like I couldn’t do it. I kept saying, “I can’t do it!” With the bag of waters there, it really made it difficult to push and feel like it was accomplishing anything. While I was screaming that I couldn’t do it, Lindsey said to me, “yes you CAN! You are the only person in the world who can do this right now! Push into the contraction instead of fighting it!” That spoke straight to my soul. I pushed as hard as I could trying to target the right area instead of pulling back when the contraction would hit…and boom, my water broke! Except the bag of waters was still there, hanging out from my nether region! It was super annoying and distracting me. They told me to reach down and tear the bag off. What a weird experience, but super cool. 

After the water broke, it was a whole new ballgame!! I could feel baby moving. I was only seconds away from meeting our sweet new baby. A little tricky part of pushing, I couldn’t sit in the water because the tub wasn’t full. With only a few inches of water, if the baby hit air before water, it could aspirate and we’d have a problem. So think water (in the womb) to water (in the pool) versus water to air to water. No bueno. So both of the midwives had to catch the baby and make sure it didn’t go into the water.  A few pushes and the baby was here! We maneuvered the baby around and up to my chest. I sat down in the tub. Baby was covered in vernix, which is the white wax-like substance that covers the baby while in the womb. Typically it comes off mostly before birth. It didn’t. It was everyyyyywhere! Baby got cleaned up and we had to check. What was it…a boy or girl?? Sure enough, it was a girl. Opposite of what I had thought my whole pregnancy. A sweet girl! She was so quiet. She didn’t cry. Just came out peacefully. My midwife even said, “well she’s breathing fine….” It was so weird not having her come out screaming, but also very fitting for the whole experience…peaceful! Soon after she was born, my sister arrived!!

The next part of the experience was the best and worst part. 

Being able to be at home. Lay on my own couch and snuggle my sweet baby girl. Wait for my placenta to come out while the midwife massages my legs with cypress oil. Bliss. Seriously, I was on cloud nine. What an amazing experience! Jackson wakes up from his nap and walks out. He is so shocked. “The baby came out!?” He was the sweetest and so excited! A moment we had been prepping him for the last 8 months! Joanna wakes up shortly after. She is still so sleepy but excited to meet her new sister. Baby Jenelle!! A birthday surprise that none of us were expecting! Jenelle is officially “my baby” as labeled by Jojo. 

Then, my placenta is not coming out. It had been a while. If you get queasy, skip past this part….My midwife checks and my placenta is stuck up under/behind my cervix. The next part is excruciating painful. Way worse than birth. She has to basically stick her whole hand up my whoooo-haaaa, wrap her finger around the cord and stab her finger into the placenta and pull it out while I pushed. It felt like labor but worse because there isn’t a baby at the end of it all and the rush of adrenaline and endorphins. Thankfully she was able to get the placenta out without any further complications. And thankfully I didn’t have nurses pushing on my belly every few hours after either. Such a different experience than the hospital. I imagine this whole portion of my story might have looked different if I had been in the hospital. I’m thankful that God orchestrated it the way he did! 

The rest of the evening was spent with the family. They quickly cleaned up the pool and the birthing mess. We all looked in wonder at this sweet baby born so quick and unexpectedly early!! My dad arrived with my grandma, my mother in law, my sister, and my mom all there in my living room with the sweetest gift for my Joanna on her birthday. 

We ate the best chocolate cake I’ve ever had (don’t want to toot my own horn, but it was amazing)!! Sang happy birthday, and recovered! 

It took me probably a full week to catch up with reality. My mom has gone back home that Monday afternoon and since I was planning on going to growth group the next day, she was just going to sleep at her house then drive back after working a half day. 

Then the morning of Jenelle’s one week birthday, I woke up with her next to me around 12:30am and she was burning up! I took her temp and she was 102.7°! I googled, consulted webMD, called my mom, texted my midwife. We took her warm PJs off and unswaddled her hoping it was just too many layers. Prayed a lot!! But our peaceful baby from birth was so fussy and definitely not herself. Everything was saying to take her into the ER… so we did. My mother in law got to the house and off we went. My mom met us at the emergency room at CHOC. 

My midwife called ahead and when we got there, we went straight back into a room where a doctor came in right away and gave us the rundown. 

“Because she was only a week old, we have to evaluate her a little more seriously. We will do a spinal tap, a blood draw, and a urine sample to see what it is that is causing her fever.”

Quickly after we got there, they did the spinal tap, inserted an IV inter her tiny tiny vein on her tiny tiny foot, and inserted catheter to get a urine sample. 

Then we get moved to the pediatric intensive care unit – PICU. 

In the picu, God did some amazing things. First thing when we got up there, one of the PICU nurses was a friend from high school who was a couple grades below me. It was great to catch up with her and see her! We had the sweetest nurse for the first shift that was super helpful! 

They hooked her up to antibiotics first thing when we got there. Their main concern was that she had bacterial meningitis. Which if that was the case, the quicker you can attack it, the better. We were there at minimum 48 hours from when they took the initial tests at 9am on Tuesday morning. They wanted to go through the complete dosage of antibiotics and get the cultures back from their tests after the 48 hour window. That put us at Thursday at 9am. 

At 1pm that same day, test results came back conclusive as viral meningitis. Specifically enterovirus (the common cold) on her spine. She was still spiking a fever and pretty miserable. 

They got the okay to give her Tylenol which helped tremendously. She finally was able to fall asleep and the fussiness went away almost completely! 

Moving forward, it was a waiting game. Wait the 48 hours and wait for her to be fever free! 

That evening, we had a male nurse. He was such a nice guy… very helpful. And very good with Jenelle. I just felt uncomfortable nursing with him in the room. Which made things interesting. I didn’t shy away from nursing or cover up, but I just felt funny. That night I prayed hard for a sweet female nurse. 

And boy, did God deliver!! 

The next morning they were doing shift changes and this short girl with a cute blonde bun stops in and is going over Jenelle’s chart. All the nurses come in with a mask on since Jenelle has a virus. It isn’t until she is talking with my mom that we recognize her. At the same time they recognize each other. Growing up, my family was very close to another family. We’d spend holidays together, birthdays, bbqs just because, etc. The boys were like brothers to me. Well, our nurse, Katelyn, was married to the youngest of those brothers, Andrew. 

So crazy! Something that really could only be orchestrated by God. Such a small little detail that he was so kind to answer! 

Cornbread Shepherds Pie

Published on by Sarah E. CooleyLeave a comment

This recipe came from a friend Cassandra Rae on Facebook. Thanks for the permission to make a pin out of this! 💗

Cornbread Shepard’s Pie

Vegetable oil

1 chopped onion

1.5lb ground meat (I use beef)

16oz tomato sauce (I use tomato paste and thin to my liking)

1 1/2cup vegetables (diced peas, carrots and corn)

Kosher salt

Pepper

Garlic powder

(Season the vegetables to taste)

Mashed potatoes:

5 potatoes peeled and cubed, boiled

Milk

Butter

Sour cream (can forego)

Kosher salt

Pepper

(Season to taste)

Cornbread Topping

12oz worth of cornbread (box, bag or homemade)

Sauté onion in the vegetable oil. Add ground meat once onion is soft and brown. Break apart as you cook. Stir in tomato sauce and vegetables. Season the mixture.

Boil the potatoes. Whip the potatoes with the butter, milk, seasoning to taste and sour cream (if choosing to use).

Mix cornbread batter as usual (or as directed on a premixture).

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Lightly grease cooking dish (I use a 9×13 glass Pyrex).

Spoon potatoes into the bottom of the dish and spread an even layer (about a inch or so think). Add the meat and vegetable mixture on top and spread. Then pour the cornbread batter over the top evenly, spread with a rubber spatula if needed. (NOTE: sometimes I do 16oz for a thicker layer of cornbread).

Bake for 30minutes or until the cornbread is cooked through and golden on the top.

No-Eat-Out-October to the glory of God

Published on by Sarah E. CooleyLeave a comment

Weird title. I know. But so so true.

Spending money has always been an area of weakness for me. Saving money? What’s that… I earned each of these pennies and they will go to enrich my life.

Until we went through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University while engaged, I had no clue of the impact that debt had…. I thought I’d just have student debt forever, I’d get a car loan, if I really wanted something I’d charge it. (While I don’t agree with everything DR says, he has got a lot of good stuff going for him!).

Suffice that to say, I now think of money different.

Once I became a believer and made God Lord of my life, my perspective changed even more.

Fast forward to recently, and our pastor gave a sermon and I was left feeling so convicted. While I never charge things I can’t afford and would never get a new car loan, I still was pretty flippant with the money we did get each month.

Enter “no eat out October”!

It was been the best month! For so many reasons. I want to challenge you in this too.

One, we have sat down to eat dinner together practically every night (with the exception with maybe one or two nights).

Two, we are eating healthy, home cooked meals. Very little processed food. Full of flavor. Even my 4.5 year old is gobbling it up telling me how “bomb!” it is!

Three, we have saved SO much money. Even going over the budget I set, we saved $650 by not eating out or getting coffee! SIX HUNDRED FIFTY DOLLARS! Unreal.

Four, lighting a candle (scentless soy hahaha), having the table set, music playing, having your two year old pray while your almost 1 year old throws food, and your 4.5 year old talks up a storm while watching your hubby gobble up his food is LIFEGIVING! Sitting together, sharing food, engaging in conversation, talking with the Lord, all of it, is so lifegiving. God made food for a reason and how amazing to get a to share meals with those we love!

Forth, even something as simple as not eating out, and planning ahead, can bring God glory. Even this is a form of worship. It’s not a way we prove to God that we finally have got it together – because by now have you figured out that you don’t, but it’s by his strength alone? But, it IS a way we can tell him thank you for what he has given to us by using it wisely and giving back to him (tithing and offerings). It’s an outpouring of the generosity that he has given us!

So, have I convinced you to try it for yourself, for you and your family?

In my next post I will highlight some practical steps I took to make this possible!

Leave some questions below, and I’ll try to answer them in my next post! 💗

Xoxo,

Sarah

She laughs at the days to come…

Published on by Sarah E. CooleyLeave a comment

This year has not been a walk in the park by any means. I don’t say that to get attention or to warrant a ‘poor thing.’ I say it because it is a year where I have truly learned the word endurance.

In the last year: my week old daughter had meningitis, we had to leave our church of almost 7ish years (and all the friends-like-family that came along with it), we spent months giving our infant daughter breathing treatments on the verge of getting admitted once more for low oxygen levels, she had a dairy allergy, my brother got diagnosed with cancer, we waded through a lot of relationship troubles and woes, we struggled through sin issues, struggled through faith and what it truly means to be a Christian, my son got diagnosed with a skin condition (a two year process in some cases – hoping ours is much shorter), I got the shingles, and today’s diagnosis: my sweet baby’s got the chicken pox.

Kicker to the chicken pox, I gave it to her with my shingles… so that’s cool (sarcasm). And because of the chicken pox, I can’t see my sister give birth OR visit her until 10 days post scabbed lesions on my daughter. Today was an emotional day. I was sad.

As I was processing today all that was going on, I actually wasn’t overwhelmed. I wasn’t angry. I was sad for missing out on so much fun this week (date night tonight, Fall Fest on Thursday, sister’s 1st baby’s birth, nephew’s birthday party, etc.).

As my husband put it, “the timing is impeccable!” HA! Precisely!

I was sitting, feeding my sickly daughter in her room, rocking her, cuddling with her, and the super fancy sign (ha!) that has been up there since her sister was a baby (3 years next month) stood out to me.

“Strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at the time to come,” (Proverbs 31:25).

I sat there thinking, yes, this is exactly it.

When I sat in that emergency room holding my one week year old daughter with an IV on her itty bitty foot, just having had a spinal tap, I knew that she was very sick, but I knew I had a God who was bigger than whatever was going on in her body. Yes, I was scared. Yes, I cried. But the momentary sadness for my sweet girl paled in comparison to my overwhelming sense of peace knowing God has that situation under control. Even if I was to lose my daughter that day, he was still good.

And each situation after it.

It was true when we had to leave our church. God made it very clear that was our next step, and so we stepped out in obedience. Yes, sad. Yes, heartbroken. Hurt at times. Angry at times. But certain it was God who had led us and God who would continue to lead us. While we weren’t “laughing at the times to come” quite yet, we knew he has always been faithful and would continue to be faithful.

Then, my brother’s cancer diagnosis. While so, so sad yet again, we are fully trusting in a God who protects us and provides and is GOOD regardless of the circumstances we are faced with. His promises aren’t just true when things are going well.

And through all these terrible skin issues we have been having – God is faithful and he provides. He has purpose in all of it. With Jackson’s condition, it has made me so aware and sympathetic towards those who constantly deal with illness. There’s not a day that goes by that I’m not doing something to his skin. Rubbing oils on him, bandaging him, patching him up. That is minimal to what others have to go through in the grand scheme of things, yet God is giving me a glimpse into other’s lives so I can be empathetic and relate.

As I was looking deeper into Proverbs 31:25, I was looking up the hebrew words within the verse. The phrase “the days to come” is a phrase meaning “at the future.” It means: later, subsequent, latter, last (of time). Another verse that contained the same phrase was found in Job 19.

Verse 25 states, “for I know that my Redeemer lives, and at last he will stand upon the earth.”

What an encouraging verse. Then I continued on to verse 26-27,  “After my skin has been thus destroyed, yet in my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see for myself, and my eyes shall behold, and not another. My heart faints within me!” (ESV).

Ugh. Not exactly as uplifting as verse 25, but very fitting for our current skin issues.

“After my skin has been thus destroyed……….”

No thanks, I’ll take my redeemer living and him having the last stand on the earth. But my skin being destroyed. No thanks.

What I am realizing this month. The cost to obeying God is great. It’s not this hunky-dory walk in the park. It’s difficult. And painful. It comes with loss. Maybe friends, maybe family. Maybe your health, your pretty skin. Maybe your job. There is always a cost. But, there is no greater sacrifice than to follow the Lord. I’m telling you, NOTHING.

You know why? Peace, is why. Joy, is why.

Yesterday when I started seeing bumps on my daughter, I should have been overwhelmed. I should have been angry that yet again, we’re sick. Again, we’re missing out. When I lose friendships, I should be devastated. And while I’m sad for all of these things and have had to grieve them, I am not brought down. My day didn’t end there. I spent some time sad today, but I moved on. I spent time in the Word seeking His truth. I continued loving my kids and serving them. (I did, however, stay in my pj’s all day and that’s probably how you’ll find me for the next 10 or so days…. however long this lasts 😉 )

I can honestly laugh at the days to come because I see where we are a year later. While we have gone through a lot, we have grown even more. Our faith in God is stronger than it has ever been. We are being strengthened by his energy that he is powerfully working within me (Colossians 1:29). While *I* think could have done without all of what happened this year, I know *He* was doing a work in my heart. He was pruning the not so pretty parts, and growing the parts that needed to grow. And still is, for goodness sake!

“…Yet in my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see for myself, and my eyes shall behold, and not another. My heart faints within me!”