Author: Sarah E. Cooley

I have discovered in the last several weeks of my life that I really enjoy history. I love discussing the “politics” of various issues. I love seeing a different side to things than most people see. I love reading historical fiction. I love googling people’s names and seeing what I can find out about them. I love researching and discovering.

Before I go somewhere, I usually have asked all the questions I can about the place as well as researching via the internet in my own time. Before meeting someone or shortly after meeting them, I usually Facebook stalk (read the definition here) them to see what they are all about (it’s crazy what you can find out about a person via Facebook – don’t act like you don’t do it too… haha). Before I buy something, I research reviews that people have said about a certain product. I reread labels on the back of shampoo and conditioner while in the shower, and the box of cereal that I am eating from in the mornings at breakfast. I love watching TV shows that give me a glimpse into someone’s life – the Bachelor/Bachelorette, American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Big Brother, Survivor, etc.

I like to be ‘in the know’. I don’t know what sparked this in me, but I suspect that I get it from my father (read this post).

Recently I began reading the Hunger Games series. I have fallen in love. Not only is the books’ setting in ‘future America’ (so interesting!!), but it goes into detail about the flaws of American culture and our desire to exploit someone else for the entertainment of ourselves (i.e. reality television).  I happen to be an extreme fanatic of reality television. Every monday (well, tuesday, since I’m not able to watch it on monday) I look forward to watching the Bachelorette. Sometimes, like this weeks episode, I re-watch it (haha woops, did I just write that?!).

The idea of this book struck a chord in me. Though, I’ll probably continue to watch the Bachelorette and other such TV shows, I have a new perspective on them. Instead of viewing them as another reason to mindlessly get lost in a one to two hour show, I now view them as people. They are not just some device to cause drama and be the next tabloid on the newsstands for my entertainment, but they are real people, with real emotions, who are going through crazy things, just so that I can have some entertainment. What a different perspective.

History, one of the things I love, is happening right in front of us. Suzanne Collins, the writer of hunger games, has done an excellent job at ‘predicting’ the future of America (the history that has yet to happen) and explaining her frustrations with our culture. The decisions I make to watch the Bachelorette and tweet about it and say “I hate so and so” or “that person is a jerk” are not just comments drifting through the air. They are comments made toward real people, with real feelings, and real emotions. I don’t think reality TV is altogether horrible, but I think I definitely want to have a different perspective on the things I say and who I flippantly put down with my words.

Katniss, Peeta, and Gale 🙂 – Hunger games

Emily Maynard – The Bachelorette 🙂

To Be Continued… 🙂

Being that it’s father’s day, I suppose I should write a post about my dad. 🙂

My dad has taught me so much.

This is my changing a tire this morning…on father’s day!

He taught me to whistle entire songs, how to sing, how to throw a softball, how to change a flat tire, how to sing like louis armstrong, how to squeak with my lips, how to properly eat sunflower seeds (crack the shell with your teeth, spit out the shell, eat the seed…), how to be a defensive driver, etc….

He’s taught me quite a bit. I even inherited his talent of telling an entire joke and completely forgetting to tell the punch line. I inherited his distaste for board games and video games. I gained his love for people and to know them more deeply. I inherited his love for information – he was a history major – he’s always looking up facts or rattling off Facebook statuses which naturally he wants to know someone’s facebook history 😉 . Not because he is a Facebook addict, but because he likes to know just what is going on. I also inherited his stubbornness. If you know me at all, you know I can be a little ridiculous sometimes. The “it’s my way or the highway” mentality, yeah, I’m working on that….and yeah, I got it from my father.

There is so much of me that I can attribute directly to my father, but one of the main things I can attribute is my love for truth and my desire to seek it out.  My father is a learner. No he is not perfect, but he sure does enjoy learning about who Christ is and what it means to walk in the love Christ has lived out tangibly for us on this earth.

I find myself doing what my father does. I am always googling. In fact, a side-story, when I first moved into my brother and sister-in-law’s place, they asked me if I knew anything about orchids, and I said no, but immediately, I hopped on google and tried to find the answer for them. I know that isn’t about the gospel and the Lord and grace, etc., but it shows a little sneak peak into who I am because of my father. I love to learn about the Lord. I love to research and read books and study the Bible. If it wasn’t for my father, I would not have the desire to learn like I do.

So, in honor of father’s day, thank you, Dad! I love you! Thank you for the influence you have directly had on my life. I cannot thank you enough for changing my life the way you and your beautiful wife have!

Sorry, dad, I had to do it! 🙂

To Be Continued… 🙂

Friends are a special thing.

I took my friendships for granted for several recent years of my life.

As a single college graduate, that is now – thankfully –  a different story.

There is something about a good friend to walk with through life. Someone to give you a good kick in the butt and tell you are acting silly when you are acting too cowardly to make friends in a new social setting. Someone to make you excited about things you are uncertain of. Someone who you can share embarrassing moments with and know that it wont affect your relationship. Someone to walk into a new setting with and know that they are a constant in your life – unchanging. Someone to be that “wind beneath your wings” as the song goes.

I have several friends who have been that for me over my lifetime. Mostly girls. A few guys. All very special to me. These friends are people who I will never take for granted again. These friends are people who I will support and walk hand-in-hand with until the day I die.

Ecclesiastes says it well

“There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. “For whom am I toiling,” he asked, “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?” This too is meaningless—a miserable business! Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one  to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:8-12).

So, I wrote a ‘non-negotiable’ list not too long ago for the next guy I date. Basically, this is a list of things I want in a man and are sincerely non-negotiable in my book. He doesn’t have it = RED FLAG!! Well not entirely. A lot of the things listed are written out in detail. Even Matthew McConaughey can’t live up to those standards 😉 …totally joking!

It got me thinking. I am requiring all of these things from a human being who is flawed and imperfect, but I can’t even live these things out myself. These are expectations that only God could achieve, really. Soooo, first of all, grace needs to be lavished on others because I have been given so much grace (Ephesians 4:32 – “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you). Second of all, It make me think through the way I am living now. I am no where near to living up to the standard I am placing on others. How could I place such a high standard on others, when I can’t even get one of these right for a weeks time?! Therefore, it has now become my new “goal” list for the next couple of months and years of my life. I won’t be perfect at these things, just like a possible man in my future wont, but I am going to keep striving for these things in my life.

So here’s my ever-changing list…

1) WISE – thinks before acts. Slow to speak, slow to get angry, quick to listen. Seeks out counsel wiser than himself. Is not driven by his own desires but puts off his own desires for the good of those around him and to honor the Lord.
2) Outgoing and social – loves to entertain and welcomes guests, has deep friendships, able to hold a conversation with just about anyone.
3) Gospel-centered and driven – his life is guided by the Gospel.
4) Adventurous and willing to try new things – won’t settle for the same ol’, same ol’! Wants to try new restaurants, go on crazy wild dates, spontaneous but also a planner, creative, wants to go on trips and camp and hike and be “adventurous”!
5) Learner – seeks out counsel from older men, peers, and those younger than himself. Reads books. expands his mind and worldview within the scope of the Bible!
6) Loves traveling – enjoys different cultures, observing them, and serving them. Serving people in general.
7) Willing to correct me and push back on my ideas. Not intimidated by my stubbornness and strong-willed personality.
8) Positivity – balances out my cynical attitude.
9) Trust and jealousy – I can have guy friends, he can have girl friends – trust, trust, trust!! Trusts the Lord first and foremost so trusting me by trusting the Lord – also recognizes boundaries with the opposite sex, but doesn’t de-friend females and force me to de-friend males.Once again, is wise.
10) Faithfulness – Doesn’t make empty promises. Actions back up his words. Usually has less words and verbal promises, but actions take the place of needing to speak (for most – not all – cases).
11) Encourages vulnerability but within reason. Protects my heart, which means that sometimes he also discourages vulnerability and intimacy if the relationship is needing to slow down (assuming the context is a dating relationship still, not marriage).
12) Protects me – my heart, emotions, spirituality, etc.
13) Intentional in ministry and passionate about it. A passion that is specific not just general/broad. Knows the gifts that the Lord has given him and uses those to build up the church.
14) Within the previous answer, has a servants heart. Desires to serve others to exemplify Christ and to make much of Him, not to make much of his own self.
15) This one is kind of shallow, but well dressed. 😉 (not really a non-negotiable, but I can be hopeful).
16) Sense of humor – easy-going.
17) Cares about having a healthy lifestyle. I feed off of those around me [no pun intended 😉 ]. If those around me care about having a healthy lifestyle, I care about having a healthy lifestyle.

. . . .

To Be Continued… 🙂

Yesterday night I did something really silly…I’ll get to that in a minute…

So, I moved to Orange County 3 weeks ago and haven’t really found a church family to be involved in yet. So, my friends right now are my sister-in-law and brother and my co-workers (who I am SO incredibly grateful for, by the way). This is very different for me coming out of college surrounded by all of my close friends literally 24/7.

People don’t talk about the difficulties of post-college life. They talk about how wonderful it is to be independent. How great it is to have a full-time job!

Well, I am here to say, post-graduation is not anywhere close to being in heaven like people claim. Don’t get me wrong, I love my full-time job. It is great working with the people I work with and I love getting to provide great memories for people by renting them a beach home. I love working 100 yards from the beach. I love getting to live with my brother and sister and the chance to get to know them better as an adult.

It’s just not as easy as people make it out to be. Responsibility is hard. Getting up at 7 on a Saturday is not ideal. Paying car insurance payments and for oil changes is not fun. Saving your money instead of spending it on anything and everything you want is not fun. It is hard. Living in an apartment complex where you don’t know your neighbors is weird and sometimes awkward.

All that to say, I am craving the community I had 4 weeks ago. I am craving that close-knit, christian community where I can be real with people around me and not have to awkwardly smile and wave to my neighbors while I walk up the stairs to dodge their hockey game with their kids (which was adorable, I might add!!).

That community can happen in an apartment complex outside of the CBU bubble, but it is 100 times harder to create. I’m working on getting past my uncomfortable feelings and forcing myself to make friends! Stay tuned for that…

So, my silly story…

I was driving into chick-fil-a yesterday for dinner and me and a van came up to the intersection at the same time. I let her go first and she smiled and waved with gratitude and such a huge smile on her face. I was genuinely happy when I saw her reaction (if you know anything about OC, drivers are a little crazy sometimes and not always that quick to hand out such an excited smile AND a wave). As I pulled behind her, I read her license plate cover and it said Compassbiblechurch.org. So of course I looked it up while I was waiting in line on my phone (thank God for smart phones). It sounded like a pretty great church!

Anyways, She got her food, and I got my sandwich and since I only had a sandwich I was quickly following her out of the parking lot. As we turned onto the main road, I thought, I wonder where she is going? Maybe she is going to church and I can meet her and we can be friends? So, what did I do, you ask? Well of course I began following her… (dont judge me!!!)

After about 5 minutes of following her, I came to my senses. Sarah…YOU ARE A CRAZY PERSON!!!! YOU CAN’T JUST FOLLOW SOMEONE BECAUSE THEY HAVE A CHRISTIAN LICENSE PLATE COVER!

So, I made a u-turn and began driving back in the direction of my house – yes I drove out of my way to follow this lady (I am crazy!!!). I stopped by McDonalds and Redbox and rented the vow. I got home, ate my chicken sandwich and Reese’s McFlurry, and watched the vow and drowned in my sorrows (dramatic, I know)!

I share this story to show how very important community is – genuine, god-following community! When you can cultivate such deep friendships and community with people all heading in the same direction – toward Christ – it becomes very meaningful.

I cherish my church back in the IE. I cherish my friendships back at the little bubble of CBU. I cherish my close-knit family! The beauty of the community I had there is that it can be cultivated here. With a little blood, sweat, and tears, I can have community just like the ones I had back home. With a little elbow grease, I can cherish and love people where I am now. That is the beauty of Christ and his cross. Like Ephesians 2 says, he has broken the wall of hostility and made peace. I can now drive down the road and have a connection with the lady in the van next to me who I know nothing about. Yes, I know it was creepy even if we are connected in Christ and I don’t suggest it to anyone to do. But, that community is beautiful and it is worth longing for and desiring. It is worth that commitment and connection. It is worth the elbow grease, blood, sweat, and tears…and I’m sure there will be many in this process!

This Sunday I will make a venture out to a church to see how I can be apart of their body.

To Be Continued… 🙂

This is an excerpt from my latest read “Counsel from the Cross” by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick and Dennis E. Johnson…It completely challenge me! Please take a couple minutes and read this section (and consider reading the entire book!!!):

1. I go to bed before midnight and usually before 11, preferably at 10. 
2. I can make a healthy breakfast. 
3. Free laundry is not a drive away. 
4. I wake up in the early morning not the early afternoon. 
5. I can go to a coffee shop and read for my own enjoyment and not feel the pressure of homework. 

Last year around this time, I posted a blog. It was entitled “Things that were and will be. Thankful.” click there and read it. It still makes me tear up!

I remember sitting in the Starbucks off of California Street in one of their comfy leather couches, sipping on an iced caramel macchiato because it was so dang hot outside. I remember people from my school came at sat at the table beside me. I remember holding back tears while typing out the words in fear that they would see and ask me why I was crying. I remember writing the blog because I wanted to avoid the loads of homework I had to do and focus on all the emotional weight and burden that came with a break up. Well, sort of, because the break up was going to happen later that night but with anything of that sort, the anticipation looms over you – you know it’s coming.

I was thinking earlier today that the ‘me’ from a year ago seems so foreign. The person I am now is no longer the person I was then. The person I am now has been shaped and molded by the grace of God. The person I am now has been broken and perfectly placed back together by my sovereign and holy God.  I sat there then thinking how the heck I had learned so much in just one year. I sat there reminiscing on all the Lord has brought to my life and how he was continuing to change me and shape me.

Today, I am doing the same exact thing – minus Starbucks and the caramel macchiato. I am packing up my room, looking through my big box of memories and adding to it, organizing drawers, throwing things away, shedding a tear or two, and looking back on ALL the Lord has taught me this year.

Who knew singleness could continue to teach you a year later!? Well, it has and I am thankful for that. This year has been crazy, emotional, strengthening, damaging, extremely fun, lonely, communal, joyful, depressing, anxious, faith-building, relationship-building, convicting, challenging, maturing [and a little of the opposite seeing that I lived with 23 freshmen girls :)], etc. I have cried myself to sleep. I have laughed till I cried. I have been so angry I cried. I went on California Screaming at California Adventure and “cried” because it was soooo fast it made my eyes water. I have cried because I was so thankful. Basically I have just done a lot of crying… HA!

This year as been full! I was looking at my journal from last May and I saw just how much the Lord has used this last year to change me and grow me. God is good and he is always faithful! He always provides and he always protects. That has probably been the biggest theme of my year. He always provides, is faithful, good, and always protects.

I have seen his goodness cover my life this year and my whole life. He has shown me grace in countless ways – most in freeing me from my bond to sin and death and giving me life. He has provided me with comfort, encouragement, sweet sweet friendships, correction, a beautiful community, the GOSPEL, a job, a roof over my head, food to eat, options after college, life-lessons….

He is so GOOD!!!!!!!!

So as I end this chapter in my life and move onto the next, I am grateful. It is crazy to think that I finished college. I’m sitting in my room on 1C where it all began and in awe of everything he has taught me since I began here as freshmen in room 142C as a young 18 year old uncertain about what the next four years of my life were going to look like: who my friends were going to be, if I’d be single or married out of college, if I would have a job, what my major would be, what type of person I would be, if I would continue to follow the Lord or not, if church was important to me, etc.

Now I KNOW all of those things. I have a great group of friends coming out of college. I am single. I have a job starting in a week from today (!!!!). I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in Christian Behavioral Science. I am an extrovert who loves people, lover of truth, enjoys deep, challenging conversations, love dresses and skirts and anything girly, loves anything outdoors – hiking, swimming in a lake/ocean, loves friendship and thrives off of my community. I love the Lord and desire to serve him with everything I have. Church is so important to me because I have seen the value of living in a close, intentional community that is seeking after Christ. Now, I know all of these things. In four years, the Lord has completely changed who I am.

Now I sit in 147C and as I look into what I am going to do in the future I know with certainty that the Lord will shape me and mold me because he has been faithful to do that the last 22 years of my life. I will look back on May 7, 2013 at this year that lies before me today and think, “WHOA, how did the Lord teach me everything he did in this last year?!”

Here are some pictures for your enjoyment from Saturday’s graduation:

10. A man’s place is in the army.

9. For men who have children, their duties might distract them from the responsibilities of being a parent.

8. Their physical build indicates that men are more suited to tasks such as chopping down trees and wrestling mountain lions. It would be “unnatural” for them to do other forms of work.

7. Man was created before woman. It is therefore obvious that man was a prototype. Thus, they represent an experiment, rather than the crowning achievement of creation.

6. Men are too emotional to be priests or pastors. This is easily demonstrated by their conduct at football games and watching basketball tournaments.

5. Some men are handsome; they will distract women worshipers.

4. To be ordained pastor is to nurture the congregation. But this is not a traditional male role. Rather, throughout history, women have been considered to be not only more skilled than men at nurturing, but also more frequently attracted to it. This makes them the obvious choice for ordination.

3. Men are overly prone to violence. No really manly man wants to settle disputes by any means other than by fighting about it. Thus, they would be poor role models, as well as being dangerously unstable in positions of leadership.

2. Men can still be involved in church activities, even without being ordained. They can sweep paths, repair the church roof, change the oil in the church vans, and maybe even lead the singing on Father’s Day. By confining themselves to such traditional male roles, they can still be vitally important in the life of the Church.

1. In the New Testament account, the person who betrayed Jesus was a man. Thus, his lack of faith and ensuing punishment stands as a symbol of the subordinated position that all men should take.