Author: Sarah E. Cooley

Boy, oh boy, it has been quite a while since I have had some extra time to sit down and write…

So thankful for this time to reflect this afternoon.

It is March. Can you believe it? Time has flown.

This month I turn 23. Those who are past the age of 23 will laugh at me when I say this, but I am going to be so old!!! My roommate and I joke all the time about how at age 22 we had the amazing Taylor Swift song “22” that talked basically about being young and wild and free. Now at 23, the only song for this age is “what’s my age again?” by Blink182 that states that ‘no body likes you when you’re 23…..” good riddance, twenty-three.

Beyond the joking, the Lord is so good – and is he teaching me a lot or what?!

Life is but a breath. We are here one day and the next we are gone. We are not promised 80 long years on this earth; we are not even promised tomorrow. Each day is a gift from God. We are not promised wealth, or perfect relationships, or a carefree life. Every person and thing is one giant blessing in life. What we are promised is that because of his grace, we can have salvation from sin and salvation from an eternity in Hell. We are promised that after we have passed from this earth, we will no longer feel pain, or hurt, or be sad.

In the last couple of weeks I have felt those blessings so much! I have seen God orchestrate my life so perfectly to continue to teach me and grow me and mold me. He is not through with me yet. He has so much to teach me and so much to teach others through my life and the things that are put into my path.

Though the future is not certain, and a little scary at times, I can know with full confidence that God is faithful. That he has my life planned in such a way for my good and for his glory. He is a great God with so much power. He knows what is best for me always and is a perfect and just enough God to provide me with the right things at the right times – whatever those “right things” might be.

Those “right things” could be sickness or health, sadness or happiness, many different friendships and relationships, the loss of a loved one, the loss of my own life…it could be eternity in his arms. He knows what is right and perfect. I can trust in him to provide perfectly.

A definite theme of my life is that God is my provider and protector. That theme will never leave. Men and women will fail, my body will fail, money will fail, things fail, but God remains perfect and faithful.

Thank you Lord for this sweet reminder so close to another birthday. I am forever grateful for your goodness in my life.

~~~

Currently I am so so so thankful for: my mom, my family, my boyfriend, Eric, my roommate, Alli, my church, Seabreeze!!! , my coworkers to fill my day with laughter, an apartment to live in, food and clean water to fill my body and give it nutrients, friends to bless my heart and fill my soul with laughter and smiles, singing to echo in my heart the promises of God, health insurance, Huntington Beach – my home, a car that gets me places….I could keep going for hours and hours… Thank you Lord for life – not just the breath I breathe, but life eternal – life beyond this one – life that is filled with worship of you!

Thank you, Lord. Here’s to year 23….

This weekend was one of the best weekends I have had in a very long time. It was amazing for so many reasons, but one of the most amazing reasons was that one of my very best friends got married to such an amazing guy.

…

There is an amazing book that has changed me and shaped me as a single woman and the interesting thing about that is that it is a book on Biblical Marriage. The name of the book is called Sacred Marriage. The main premise of the book was that marriage is not to make us happy, as the American culture would make us to believe, but to make us holy. This idea was the theme of this weekend.

Taylor and Ryan – two sinful people – coming together to become one and to glorify the Lord together “until death do us part.” Two sinful people journeying through life lavished in the grace that the Lord has freely given to them. Two people worthy of death but given life – and given life abundantly.

From the time the weekend started at the rehearsal, I knew it was going to be something special. I met all of Ryan’s groomsmen, hung out with all the bridesmaids, and got to talk with their families. They were all very intentional people. You could tell that the choices and decisions they made were to glorify the Lord. All the men were gentlemen and all the women were sweet, kind, caring, and thoughtful.

At the rehearsal lunch, Taylor and Ryan took time to say something special about each and every one of the people in their wedding party. Each person mentioned was so significant in their lives and you could tell that they have invested time into each other’s lives. It was a special moment for everyone.

That night, we went to thousand pines to set things up. I began to see how intentional and purposeful the wedding actually was.

Every single detail was thought out. Every single decoration simple, yet so perfect and spot on to Taylor and Ryan’s relationship. Every activity perfected to them – food, dancing, the drinks, games, the ceremony…

And the ceremony…I don’t think you could have changed one thing to make it more perfect, more them, or more purposeful. Every, single part of the ceremony was centered around the Lord – their vows to each other, their vows to their friends and family, the time of worship and communion, the kiss…everything! They had a time of vows to each other, but the coolest part of the ceremony in my opinion was that they made vows to their friends and family as a couple. I cried through all of it (not a huge surprise, I know, but still….). It was beautiful.

Then the reception…geez was that a good time or what?! I got to see another side of Ryan – his friends. You know that you can tell the character of a person by their friends. This could not have been more true. I sat down at the reception and realized that I was the only girl at the table I chose to sit at. The rest of the table were the groomsmen. This was so great because though I didn’t get to talk much, I got to hear them talk a whole lot and hear them ask lots of questions. This was very enlightening. I got asked questions like “what do you think about ‘big foot’? or the zombie apocalypse?” “What are your views on religion/politics?” “Where did you grow up?” “What did you study in college?” “What do you want to do in life?” Etc. Etc. Etc.

They especially liked my answer to “what would I do if there was an actual zombie apocalypse?” All I said was “shot gun – double tap”. After that comment, I was officially welcomed to the guys table…haha

Anyways, these questions weren’t really exciting because I got to answer them, but they were exciting because I got to see a side of Taylor’s new husband that I’d never seen before – his friends. I realized that his friends were more concerned about talking to me than they were about talking about the next football game or video game. They were interested in other people. They were men of character. They looked to the interests of others rather than their own interests. And to go back to what I said earlier  “You know that you can tell the character of a person by their friends.”

I knew after the whole span of events yesterday that my dear, sweet friend left a loving and caring family to start another loving and caring family because she has a great, God-fearing husband to lead her. They both are seeking to glorify the Lord in everything they do and they are looking to magnify God’s greatness through their redeemed lives. I am so humbled to have been apart of Taylor and Ryan’s big day. I am so humbled to be apart of their lives in the future…

Thank you Lord for marriage and for redemption and grace. Lord, you are good!

This last week has been a week of reflection.

A year ago, I was greeting a hall full of incoming freshmen girls at CBU. Where did that year go?! It went fast. The more and more I ‘will’ time to slow down, it speeds up. “Time flies when you’re having fun…” …isn’t that the truth!

I spent a lot of time reflecting on how much growth came from my time at CBU. It is where I became an adult. It is where [along side First Baptist Church of Norco (which was also a HUGE part of my growth)] I grew in my understanding of the Good News – Gospel Message. I learned what discipleship is and how to share Christ with people. I learned how to develop deep, meaningful relationship (still learning this one 🙂 ). I’ve learned to not give away my heart too quickly, but to trust in the Lord and follow HIS leading first and foremost (also, still learning this one). I’ve learned that maturity is extremely important and to make decisions that foster maturity and growth, rather than taking the easy, lazy way out. I’ve learned that I am so “prone to wander” and “leave the God I love” – I always choose the way that leads away from the Lord before I turn back to Christ (see Detachment vs. Development).

Among what I learned, there were several key relationships (and events/groups) that have grown so deep and played a huge part in teaching me all that I mentioned above.

• My two separate RA staff’s from my Junior and Senior year: God truly established these different groups as tools to mold me and shape me. They both were there for me for two very difficult years of my college experience, but some of the best and sweetest times of my life. Most of the pictures below are with these different girls. The Lord knew what he was doing by placing me in these different groups.
• Amman, Jordan, Middle East: This time was such a time of impact in my life. Not only did have such a fun experience, but I was challenged in my faith and stretched and shaped by the Lord. Working on a team to accomplish our goals was so difficult, but through that experience I learned a lot about myself and how I work – it was highlighted to me through this trip how selfish I am and how much I need Christ to rule my life.
• Residents: This kind of goes hand in hand with RAs, but really, it needs to be its own category. My different residents, both my junior and senior year, impacted my life greatly. Not only was I challenged to lead these girls (while most of the time not having a clue as to what I was doing), but I learned so much from them. Each year was so different, but both years the Lord used these girls to highlight the areas I need to grow in and to encourage me in the areas I was doing well in. These are some relationships that will last a lifetime.
• My summer internship at Peninsula Bible Church in Palo Alto, CA: This was a time for me that was different than most experiences. It was my first time on my own ever! I had never really ever been away from my parents for longer than a couple of days and even then, there was always someone looking out for me (brother, grandma, etc.). Even though I spent a lot of that time not taking it seriously at PBC and running off to San Ramon to “hang out”, it grew me in more ways than I realized. Not to mention, I made amazing friends there – Michelle and various others, and I got to spend more time with Jordan, my old youth pastor and “older brother”.
• My Dating Relationship: This was an area that encompassed most of my college years except the last year – though it still had a huge impact on my final year of college. This is something that I still am not sure how to articulate accurately and respectfully. But, the Lord used this area in my life to teach me so much about myself – mostly what I did wrong. I am still processing the last several years of my dating relationship even a year and a half after the fact and all that the Lord did and has done through that. To leave out that relationship would be gypping this list. It was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life and also one of the most painful, but the Lord is so faithful. He has shown me through this process that he is always faithful to protect and provide and those two qualities are still outlined in my life over and over again through this time of singleness. I am beyond thankful for that time in my life, and even more thankful for the lessons that came out of it.
• First Baptist Church of Norco: This church has been such a staple in my life the last four years. From activities throughout the week such as ‘home group’, ‘youth group’, ‘Woman’s A&E’, bridal and baby showers, book studies, and living everyday life. This church…this family really has shaped me and formed me, through its’ teaching of the word, into who I am today. I sincerely love all of the people there and miss them something terrible.
• Close friends and family: Throughout the four years, there has been a handful of people who have come beside me and loved me and scolded me and lifted me up and encouraged me and so many other things. These friends are people who I will cherish forever and who I love so deeply. Each different person has specifically challenged me to be who I am today. How could I ever live without these people? This life would truly be a lot more dull without all of them here to love and serve. 

Why I wanted to write a long list of who has impacted me, I do not know, but I truly am so grateful for all these people and these different places that have molded me and shaped me the last four years of my life. God has been so gracious to me, not just in the initial forgiveness of my sins, but time and time again. In just placing these people in my life, I feel like one of the most “blessed” women on this planet. My prayer is that in the next four years of my life and beyond, relationships like these begin to form and that growth can be fostered in a mighty way. Thank you, Lord, for your love and grace. 

To Be Continued… 🙂

Rejection.

Loneliness.

Forgotten.

Despised.

Sadness.

Anger.

Feelings often can lead us away from the Lord, but as I was expressing my feelings to my roommate yesterday, we both realized that we need to find our security and comfort from the Lord.

As she said that, the song “In Christ Alone” popped into my head and all of the sudden my attitude had changed.

The perfect, holy, and good God, sent His own Son to this earth to love people perfectly, without failing, to be despised and rejected, to be hung on a cross for the sins I commit daily, to ultimately suffer the most extreme suffering, to take on my sins and those of this world, to be looked away from by his father for that time.

It really put my life into perspective. Moving to Huntington Beach has been so great, but definitely hard at times. It’s far away from a community that I was once so so so close to. It is filled with relationships that are constantly forming. There is not a comfortable closeness to people quite yet – filled with awkward moments. My parents and siblings are an hour drive. I’m still not settled into my job completely – there are still so many things I do not know.

All of that uncomfortableness and yet none of it compares to the unfamiliarity and lack of comfort that Jesus felt as he hung on that cross. He perfectly and unfailingly loved the people he came in contact with filled with humility and compassion, yet people despised him and rejected him. The God of the universe loved so deeply, yet we turned our backs on him.

When you think of your life in that sense, all of it seems so silly. Why am I getting upset and sad? There is no comparison.

Yet, I have a God who understands my struggles. He understands how I am feeling. Because he was despised and rejected, I can now look to him for my ultimate comfort.

While I was listening to “In Christ Alone” a solitary tear fell from my eyes off my cheek and onto the pillow. I constantly try to make it happen on my own. I try to take control and find my security in my own efforts to do things. I find security in being popular and having comfortable friends. Yes, those things are great, but they should not be my ultimate fulfillment and what I look to find security. My security should be in Christ and his death on the cross for our sins that are so great!

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand 

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save 

‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live 

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again 

And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ 

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny 

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand
 

“Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath! Selah.” Psalm 39:5

This morning, I woke up like any other day. Had my coffee and granola, read my bible and scribbled prayers frantically in my journal to the Lord. Brushed my teeth and put my make up on. Talked with my roommate and then headed off to work, surprisingly on time.

I turned on 102.7 to listen to Ryan Seacrest in the morning. The first thing he says is “devastating news for Colorado.”

My heart sank.

I thought it could have been something political or something to do with the wild fires that have been hovering over the state. I somehow knew this was not the case.

I listen on and hear of the horrible news of a lone-gunman killing 13 movie-goers and injuring many, many others while watching the midnight premier of the newest Batman movie.

I then heard my phone go off. My roommate texts me and says “There was a massive shooting in colorado.” We shared a couple of shocked text messages back and forth while I was sitting in traffic.

I have gone to countless midnight premiers. Always thinking about how excited I was about seeing the movie. Never in my life would I anticipate losing my life while going to one. It could have been anyone.

One of my favorite books in the Bible is Ecclesiastes – some have mocked me for this since it talks about death, the ending of seasons, and finality – but there is something that is comforting about the passage at the end of chapter 3 when the writer writes, “God has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men, yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end” (verse 11). All life on earth has an ending. We will all breathe our last breath. Yet, it is not finished here.

God has set eternity in the hearts of man, yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

In moments of disaster and remembrances of the fragility of life, we have a God who remains faithful through it all. Caring and comforting and wanting all to call upon his name.

As God always does, he provides the right verses at just the right time…comforting us with his word. Last week, I read through the first part of Philippians 1. Verse 6 brings me so much confidence in the Lord today:

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6 ESV).”

 We have confidence in Christ that his good work will be completed – not just in the believers in Philippi, but for all believers and his entire creation. We can have confidence even when disasters like the one that happened early this morning occur that God’s good work will be completed. We can trust that though people constantly fail and hurt other human beings (like I am so guilty of doing day in and day out – maybe not murder, but nonetheless with hate and selfish actions) that he is still faithful.

God’s good news doesn’t end because of one man’s insanity. His control doesn’t end because bad things occur and the world feels like chaos is winning out. He is faithful and in his time he will make all things beautiful.

We cannot fathom what God is doing from beginning of time, to the end of time.

So, I have been recently studying Philippians 1 and the Lord is teaching me SO much through His word.

Today, as I was reading, I was thinking about all the things that are going on in my life right now. Transitioning from Riverside to Orange County, entering the job world and leaving 17ish years of schooling behind, living at school to living in an apartment with a roommate with rental payments, bills, etc. I also go to thinking about how I view people. Recently, I have been struggling with my own timeline. The thoughts constantly run through my head as to why I am single in this season in life, why my timeline isn’t how I pictured it to be out of college, why I decided to leave a place where I knew so many people to Orange county where I am having to meet new people, get connected to a new church, etc. etc. etc. All that to say, contentment has been a HUGE struggle in my life in the last couple of months since graduation.

Anyways…back to Philippians…I was reading this morning and going over the question “what can I learn from the example of others?” and I came across these verses (1:7-8): “It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus.” Many times because I am so focused on the next move in my life, I forget to view people as children of God and with the affection of Christ. I view them as pawns in the chess game of my life. I view people as a means to get me somewhere else, rather than how I can love and serve them like Christ does. Paul David Tripp recently posted a quote on facebook that I felt was very accurate to how I have viewed relationships in the past; he said, 

“Maybe you’re attracted to that person, not because you love them, but because you love yourself and you love what they’ll do for you.”

I have been mulling over what it means to yearn for people with the affection of Christ since I started this study. I don’t know if my answer is theologically correct or if I am adding my own interpretation into it, but I do know that to yearn for someone with the affection of Christ does not include selfish motives in how to advance my own self. Usually, it means that I will give up and sacrifice my own well-being/self in order to uplift them and bring them closer to Christ. 

What do you believe Paul is trying to say in this passage? How can you learn from Paul’s example of yearning after the Philippians with the affection of Christ?

To Be Continued… 🙂 

sidenote: I do love my job, my new apartment, singleness, my new church, etc…but, it has been a struggle not to get discouraged in the slow progress of moving into a new area and meeting new people…

“Cycle of Commitment”

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6 ESV).

To Be Continued… 🙂