Author: Sarah E. Cooley

I’m walking through the bright white gates
breathing in and out your grace
all around me melodies rise
that echo with the joy inside
so I start to sing
but i cant sing loud enough
I can’t sing loud enough
when I’m singing for You my God
I can’t sing loud enough
I can’t sing loud enough
when I’m singing for You my God
with a thunder roll and a brilliant light
your glory boasts and the heavens shine
the saints and angels stand in awe
captured by the beauty of it all
so I fall to my knees
but I can’t bow low enough
I can’t bow low enough
at the vision of You my God
I can’t bow low enough
I can’t bow low enough
at the vision of You my God
I can’t hold it all inside
I’m reaching for the One who brought me out of death and into life
but I can’t lift my hands high enough
life my hands high enough
when I’m reaching for You my God
I can’t lift my hands high enough
life my hands high enough
when I’m reaching for You my God
oh I’m reaching for You my God
I’m reaching for You
I’m reaching for You
I’m reaching for You my God

John 4:7-15

“A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” (For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” The woman said to him, “Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock.” Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.”

WOW. So I was thinking about my two minute testimony again… it hit me hard. I realized that I was exactly like the woman at the well. Later on in the passage, after verse 15, Jesus talks about the woman’s husbands and how to call to her husband, but she has had many, and currently is living with a man that is not her husband. My testimony is not exactly like that, but I searched for contentment and love through the world and the attention it gave me. It does not satisfy. In verses 13 & 14, Jesus tells her of the water that never leaves you wanting more. He talks about the water that he gives that will never leave her to “be thirsty again.” The night that God truly changed me, my mom came in to talk to me. Three questions that she asked me that I remember distinctly are: “Sarah, Do you know how beautiful you are? Do you know how much God loves you? Do you know how much he wants to use you?” These questions were Jesus asking me to drink from his well of Living Water, to find contentment in him rather than in my search for contentment elsewhere.

It’s funny how many times, as humans, we turn back to that unfullfilling, unsatisfying water, when we have the living water given to us by Jesus to satisfy us. Why is that? Why do we turn from that thirst quenching water? Why do we turn back to the things that hurt us in the first place?

I wish I had the answers to these questions. They seem impossible to answer!

“He’s not safe, but he’s good (referring to Aslan, the Lion, in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe)”
-C.S. Lewis

This is a quote that I had heard before but never really thought about. These week has been really challenging in just wrestling with God in the past and letting him take the reigns. Following God is really scary! He’s not safe. He is the most powerful thing EVER! But what Lucy points out for us in the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe is that he’s good! That is something that I, for some reason, can’t get through my head. God isn’t out to hurt me or to totally ruin my life. Yes, I probably will get hurt sometime in my life, and it wont be perfect, but God is in control and his best interests are always in mind.

Tonight…I applied to be a Resident Assistant at my college and there is group process involved in that. They set you up into groups and then assign tasks for you to do and figure out. I’m very nervous for this whole process. Last year, I was crushed through the whole thing with not being accepted and dealing with God’s plan for my life (Looking back, I am so grateful because this year I would not have been able to deal with it)! I don’t want to be crushed again! But what I have to realize that God is not safe, but he is good!

One thing, tonight, that I learned is that I am apt to jump off a cliff without knowing what’s beneath me, hoping that I’m jumping into water or feathers or something soft. I usually don’t worry about having something to protect me once I do jump, but that’s usually where I get hurt. Last year, I jumped off a cliff by applying, then didn’t protect my heart. I didn’t make sure I had a bungee cord attached to me, I just jumped and the end result was crashing to the waterless river bottom with nothing to cushion or protect me from the fall! Life is hard and you have to jump off a cliff blind sometimes. But with jumping off you have to be aware that there could be something different then you expected at the bottom, something better, and it’s exactly where God has you to be!

Psalm 37:4 & 5
“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act!”

Isn’t that the point! We should be so intoxicated with him that our whole self, all of our desires, are wrapped around his will! His will becomes our will! When we trust and commit our way to him, he will act! He will act for his glory!

Jn 14:13 & 14
“Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.“

This, again, is not saying that if we ask for anything (new car, riches, happiness, etc) that we will get it! It is saying that you need to be in the Father’s will. Once you are in that, once you ask for things that will glorify the name of the Lord, then Jesus will do it!

We have to keep reminding ourselves, its not about us!

“He’s not safe, but he’s good!!”

To Be Continued… =)

So, I have the privilege to go on an International Service Project this summer. I’m super stoked!! One of the really eye opening things, among many others, is we get to start practicing and giving our 2 minute testimonies! Like any Christian, we come to know Christ, he changes and shapes our lives, and we get the opportunity to share that with others… the only thing is is that the last part gets neglected… we forget/or neglect sharing. Last week, as ISP team members, we were supposed to come to our training night with our 2 minute testimony prepared and ready to go. I thought I was ready and failed miserably. Its surprising how you think you know your life and how God is involved in molding and shaping that, but sure enough it becomes your turn to speak and….. ummmm. uhhhhhh…. eerrrrr…. is all you can get out! Soooo…this week, I worked through it a little more and went through it and surprisingly had it only 14 seconds over the 2 minute allotment. This experience was really eye opening. It caused me to think about what in my life was really important and life changing and why I said certain things and left out others. The Gospel really started to open up to me and I started to see the Gospel in my life more so than before. There is a quote that always pops into my head when I feel like I’m talking a lot and that is “Keep it Simple Stupid- KISS!” This really applies to a Christians testimony too! I think, as Christians, we get caught up in the sin of our past and forget to enlighten the unbeliever of the power of the cross and grace of Jesus Christ!! We ramble on and on about ourselves when our testimony should be centered around him. It should begin and end with him! It should totally and utterly be about Him and bringing Him glory! God is good! All the time! All the time! God is good!! =)
1 Peter 3:13-17 says…
“But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil.”

We need to be prepared to make a defense for the hope that is in us!!

To Be Continued… =)

So I was assigned yet another passage of scripture to read for another class of mine, and that passage was 2 Peter 1

The verses that really stood out to me in this passage were verses 3-11.

“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to make your calling and election sure, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall. For in this way there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

You know when you constantly mess up in something and you never seem to learn. Every time you mess up, immediately after you think to yourself, “I was gonna say no, I wasn’t going to do this again, what happened?!” The day after God gives me this verse: “…For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins.” So to flee from sin and to remember that Christ has forgiven me from my sins, I need to practice these things…virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, brotherly affection, & love. Life is difficult, I need to remember to lean on the one who carries my burden-CHRIST!

To Be Continued… =)

So, more recently, God has been showing me how the flesh is weak! These verses keep popping into my life one way or another. In class, I was told to look up my favorite verse. It happens to be in Galatians 5, so I looked it up and read down the chapter happening upon verses 16 through 18.

Those hit me pretty hard. Then reading further into the chapter was 19- 26. WOW.

Galatians 5:19-26
“The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.”

These verses were not only convicting, but were inspiring and hopeful! I want to have the fruit of the spirit! I’m tired of the acts of the sinful nature! They only weigh me down!!

Reading into the next chapter verses 7-10 really stood out to me!

It is definitely true that we reap what we sow! In the past, when I have been living in sin, I reaped the acts of the sinful nature, which eventually sucked the joy right out of my life, along with all the other fruits of the spirit. It became an endless cycle of grief and pain. But God kindly and patiently reminds us, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

If we stay on the right path, good will come to us. It might not be in this life. (I’m sure that God delights in giving you things in this life, but its not guaranteed.) But, it is definitely guaranteed when we get the opportunity to see Jesus’ face. In my opinion, that is the BEST gift I could ever get!!

These verses will constantly be tested in my life, but I hope to show in the next couple months that I have applied them to my life!

To Be Continued… =)

My Wish… Rascal Flatts…
I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you’re faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin’ till you find the window,
If it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God’s grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big

~~~

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I would like in my future for those I love. And this song absolutely hits the nail on the head. There is one thing in this song that I would change. Instead of it saying “This is my wish” I would say “this is my prayer.” Every time I sing this song I sing it over all my friends and family! I love it! =) This next week I will be going on a summer camp and the thing that keeps popping up is the verse Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” In the book, “Purpose Driven Life” (by Rick Warren) the first line is, “It’s not about me.” That could not be more true. It is not about me. I’ve been talking about this a lot and trying to figure it out! So much in life “is not about me.” In relationships, it’s not about me. In my job, its not about me. In ministry, its definitely not about me. In friendships, it’s not about me.

This summer is not going to be about me. So much of it is going to stretch me and mold me and if it was going to be about me I would be staying at a 5 star hotel and not in a house with people that I’ve never met! God has not called us to a life of comfort. He even tells us in Matthew 5 in the beatitudes:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.
Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

We are blessed when we are “poor in spirit…Mourning…meek…hunger and thirst for righteousness…merciful…pure in heart…peacemakers…persecuted…insulted…falsely accused…”

I think that is why the song “My Wish” is so appealing… It is exactly what God wants of us. He wants us to give our best to others, to pray for others, to share a smile with someone, to hold someone’s burden for them, to be a friend.

“It’s not about me.”

RECENTLY:

June 11th, 2009
Bekah’s Graduation…So weird, but soo cool! I love my sister!!!

June 12th, 2009
I got to hang out with Emily and Kayla… =) I will miss them this summer and I have missed them! They truly have blessed my life so much…much more then they know…

Next Week:
I will be at Disneyland, Knott’s Berry Farm, Balboa Beach, Raging Rivers….the camp is called Wipe Out… Pray God changes these kids lives…. and it sounds selfish asking for this, but mine as well. I know he’s going to teach me a lot in this next week. It will be a hard week… but then again, “It’s not about me.”

To Be Continued…