Times

Times
By: Tenth Avenue North

“I know I need you

I need to love you

I love to see you, but its been so long

I long to feel you

I feel this need for you

and I need to hear you

is that so wrong?

oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh

now you pulled me near you

when we’re close I fear you

still I’m afraid to tell you

all that I’ve done

are you done forgiving?

or can you look pass my pretending?

Lord I’m so tired of defending

what I’ve become

what have I become?

oh oh, oh oh, oh oh.
I hear you say “my love is over,


its underneath, it’s inside, it’s in between


the times you doubt me, when you can’t feel


the times that you’ve questioned “is this for real?”


the times you’ve broken, the times that you mend


the times you hate me and the times that you bend


well my love is over, it’s underneath


it’s inside, it’s in between,


these times you’re healing


and when your heart breaks


the times that you feel like you’ve fallen from grace


the times you’re hurting


the times that you heal


the times you go hungry and are tempted to steal


in times of confusion and chaos and pain


I’m there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame


I’m there through your heartache


I’m there in the storm


my love I will keep you by my power alone


I dont care where you’ve fallen, where you have been


I’ll never forsake you


my love never ends, it never ends

~~~

Ecclesiastes 3
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God’s gift to man.
I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away.”

Comfort Food….

~Psalm 103~
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
        and all that is within me,
        bless his holy name!
    Bless the LORD, O my soul,
        and forget not all his benefits,
    who forgives all your iniquity,
        who heals all your diseases,
    who redeems your life from the pit,
        who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
    who satisfies you with good
        so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
    The LORD works righteousness
        and justice for all who are oppressed.
    He made known his ways to Moses,
        his acts to the people of Israel.
    The LORD is merciful and gracious,
        slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
    He will not always chide,
        nor will he keep his anger forever.

    He does not deal with us according to our sins,
        nor repay us according to our iniquities.

    For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
        so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
    as far as the east is from the west,
        so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
    As a father shows compassion to his children,
        so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.

    For he knows our frame;
        he remembers that we are dust.
    As for man, his days are like grass;
        he flourishes like a flower of the field;
    for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
        and its place knows it no more.
    But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
        and his righteousness to children’s children,
    to those who keep his covenant
        and remember to do his commandments.

    The LORD has established his throne in the heavens,
        and his kingdom rules over all.
    Bless the LORD, O you his angels,
        you mighty ones who do his word,
        obeying the voice of his word!
    Bless the LORD, all his hosts,
        his ministers, who do his will!
    Bless the LORD, all his works,
        in all places of his dominion.
    Bless the LORD, O my soul!
To Be Continued… =)

"But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream."

 
“The church has made a big deal out of small things, and a small deal out of big things.” -The I Heart Revolution Documentary
~~~
    “I hate, I despise your feasts,
        and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies.
     Even though you offer me your burnt offerings and grain offerings,
        I will not accept them;
    and the peace offerings of your fattened animals,
        I will not look upon them.
     Take away from me the noise of your songs;
        to the melody of your harps I will not listen.
     But let justice roll down like waters,
        and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.
 (Amos 5:21-24 ESV)
~~~
Praying for all those going on ISP trips, Norco Trips, SOS trips, etc. I pray that your sacrifice would be a sweet fragrance to the Lord, and that crushing injustice through the work of the gospel would be a “big deal” in all of our lives.

Today, this is my hope.

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1 ESV)

Beautiful Things -By: Gungor

“All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way?
I wonder if my life could really change at all?
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found?
Could a garden come up from this ground at all?

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

Oh, you make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
Making me new

You make beautiful things
(You make me new)
You make beautiful things out of the dust
(You are making me new, making me new)

You make beautiful things
(You make me new)
You make beautiful things out of us
(You are making me new, making me new)

Oh, you make beautiful things
(You make me new)
You make beautiful things out of the dust
(You are making me new, making me new)

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new”


Today, this is my hope. 



To Be Continued… =)

"You will overcome difficult times." -Fortune Cookie

~~~
This might be hard to read, but it says, “You will overcome difficult times.”
I found this while cleaning my apartment today.
I am not one to believe in superstition at all,
but it was a nice reminder to trust in the Lord in this difficult time.
God is good, even through the storm. 
Thank you, fortune cookie, for such a nice reminder of God’s faithfulness.
~~~
To Be Continued… =)

"Love, Your King and Lord of perfect timings"

 This is just a fraction of the things in my apartment that are being packed away.
Bittersweet.
~~~

This is kind of a dull day. Finishing up papers. cleaning out the apartment. crying a lot. packing a lot of memories away-precious, precious memories-to only look at them once in a blue moon. saying goodbye to seniors and people who will not be returning to CBU. friends who will be leaving my life. roommate checking out. residents checking out. summer quickly approaching…today.

Life is flashing before my eyes. I am a Senior in College now. I no longer will have a roommate, since I will be in the dorms next year. I have 3 of my major courses to complete before I am finished. It all seems a little bittersweet.

Reasons for it being bitter:

  1. I am not quite certain that I desire to say good bye to those people. I understand that I mostly do not have a choice in the matter, but time got ahead of me and I’m slowly running behind it to catch up to it. That is a hard reality to face.
  2. I love CBU. I don’t want to only have one year left. I would like to live here for the rest of my life, but that is not reality.
  3. I have so many others, but for the time being, they will be kept silent.

Reasons for it being sweet:

  1. The Lord is good and his plan is perfect. He knows best, so this will all be for the best.
  2. The people who are leaving are going to be moving on to greater and better things. Who am I to stop them for none other than the selfish reason of me wanting them to stay in my life forever. Like a mother bird, I need to let those people out of the nest and fly. Stupid analogy, I know, but it’s fitting.
  3. I am also moving on to greater and better things. Although, this time seems so difficult and the end seems no where in sight, I know the Lord is leading me to greater and better things. I need to be patient and wait on him. That is the bitter part…waiting.

I will finish this blog post with an amazing letter written by someone writing as God writing to his children…

~~~
Wait on Me, my child.
My timing is always perfect. I know you’re anxious about many things, and I see your passion for all the plans I have put in your heart. I know that you long to fly, and I see your enthusiasm. However, just as a vine-dresser nurtures the vine and waits patiently for the right moment to harvest grapes, so too am I working tirelessly to prepare you to bear much fruit. Don’t run ahead of me or try to fly before My plans are complete. Your strength will fail you, and your dreams will wither away. Trust Me that My dreams for you are far greater than you can dream on your own. You will run farther and soar higher if you will patiently wait for the season of My blessing. Draw close to Me now, and I promise that this season of waiting will bring you the sweetest of rewards. 
Love, 
Your King and Lord of perfect timings
“But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” 
Isaiah 40:31

To Be Continued… =)

things that were and will be. thankful.

It is May 1st. How the heck did that happen? Where did my Junior year of college go? As things are coming to a close, I am so thankful.

There are plenty things in my life that I can choose to be sour and bitter about, but the Lord has given me grace and has allowed me to see his goodness in all things. There are things to cry over and be upset about, but the Lord has given me grace and has allowed me to see his goodness in all things.

This year has been quite the whirlwind and rollercoaster. I never knew that I would go through half of the things I have gone through this year. In fact, I saw things going the completely opposite way. It is funny how that works, isn’t it?

Though, it is somewhat disappointing and discouraging that those things did not work out, I am also so thankful and grateful for the Lord’s protection. He has provided for me and protected me and fought for me in more instances than I can even begin to write on a little, silly blog like this one.

All I can say is that the Lord is so good! Sitting in Starbucks, fighting tears, and wondering what will come about in the month of May, the summer, and my final year of CBU, I still can say that the Lord is good and his mercies are new every day.


As he has provided, protected, and fought for me, I can do nothing but be grateful!

Though, some things are coming to an end, I can say that they were times well spent, relationships that glorified the Lord, events that were well put together, people who were well invested in, classes that helped me gain much knowledge (despite my laziness in them a lot of this last year 😉 ). Yet, I can say that I do have regrets. I regret the time not invested into many, many different things, the love of Christ that I missed out in sharing with people, the time I spent sitting on my couch instead of knocking on doors and calling residents, times spent sitting on Facebook instead of doing homework or reading the Word. Those things were mistakes, and I can sit and feel sorry for myself and upset that I didn’t choose different choices, or I can take those at face-value and RUN the opposite direction.

And that’s what I will do. I will run into the arms of Christ. Run towards goals that are glorifying to him and that bring him honor. Run towards people who will encourage me and lift me closer to him. Run toward the gospel of Christ because without it I am nothing, without it I will fail like I have failed time and time again. Run toward the joy that Christ died on the cross so that I can have. Run toward the peace of having hope in him. Run toward his glorious cross.

So as things close, I will probably cry (And secretly have already cried every night this week haha). Not because I feel sorry for myself. Not because they are the end of the world, because they are not. But, rather, because they were good, even great, things and are ending. Because the people that were in my life were great and I love them and will miss them dearly. Because the things I was involved with were amazing. Because the Lord was so good in those times and gave me so much grace that I don’t/didn’t deserve one, single bit. I will cry for the good times that were. I will cry for the great times that will come. Lord, I am thankful, thankful for your provision and protection.

To Be Continued… =)

.::If you do those things, the God of peace will be with you::.

It is interesting to me how hard life can be sometimes and then so easy at another. So easily we forget what we are called to as believers. Do you ever notice that either two extremes happen when life gets tough?

One, you cling to the cross. 
Two, you completely wallow in your pain. 

I have seen both extremes this last month. Thank the Lord, the wallowing part is only for about an hour or two at a time and not days at a time. But, in those moments, it is somehow so easy to forget all the wisdom and knowledge the Lord gives you in preparation (Matthew 7:25 “And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.”) for those times and to focus solely on your pain and your worrying.

There is a great passage that I have always loved that speaks truth to this. It is in Philippians. Chapter 4 to be exact.

“1 Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved.”
 Paul starts off telling the believers to stand firm in the Lord. This is so important. In hard times, you must be strong and disciplined. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” Our heart is what flows the springs of life. We need to stand firm and guard our hearts in all vigilance to protect that. 
He continues in verse 4:
“4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”
There are a lot of things to take into account when reading these verses. Verses 4 and 5 are important. We need to remember that one, we are to rejoice always (in all circumstances) because the Lord is at hand. Anything in this world does not matter–hard circumstances–they all are so bleak in comparison to the Lord’s return.
Then he proceeds into verse 6 to 9. He commands us to not be anxious about anything. But, with the Lord’s coming in mind, to rid ourselves of anxiety, and to put on prayer and supplication, to put on whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellence, worthy of praise, etc. Then to also put into practice the things you have learned, received, heard, and seen Paul practice and preach. 
.::If you do those things, the God of peace will be with you::.
He continues on in verses 11-13, 19-20:
“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me. And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. 20 To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.”
There are great things to be learned from Paul in this excerpt. Being content in circumstances is something that is learned. It is not something you just pray about and it magically happens. You MUST work at it. You MUST learn to be content. You MUST learn to rely on the strength of the Lord. Paul has it extremely right when he says, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” It’s only through Christ that we can do anything. We do not live, move, speak, breathe, walk, sit down, rise, dance, sing, think, understand, gain wisdom, fall down, get back up, create, learn, etc., without Christ’s grace in our lives.
Psalm 90:4-6, 10, 12 “For a thousand years in your sight are but as yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night. You sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream, like grass that is renewed in the morning: in the morning it flourishes and it is renewed; in the evening it fades and withers…The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away…So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdomsatisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
Psalm 94:10-11 “He who disciplines the nations, does he not rebuke? He who teaches man knowledge–The Lord–knows the thoughts of man, that they are but a breath.”
~~~
Our lives are but a breath, the Lord’s coming is near, we have been given “the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us” (Ephesians 2), he will supply all of our needs. We have no reason to worry or be anxious; he is good and his steadfast love satisfies and allows us to rejoice and be glad all our days!!!!!

To Be Continued… =)

… Immeasurable riches of His grace in kindness toward us …

I’ve learned that as you study scripture intently, as in memorization and meditation, you learn a lot more than you would if you were to just read something one chapter a day every day. (does that make sense?) I spent a semester studying Galatians 5 and 6 and I learned so much!!! And now, I have begun the process of studying Ephesians 2. I memorized verses 1-3 last week and spend the week meditating on it, and this week I have memorized 4-7. I already had 8-10 memorized. Doing this has shown me amazing things about scripture. Paul is very repetitive, not just to babble, but to emphasize different concepts…

Ephesians 2:1-10
“1 And you were dead in the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

There are many reoccuring themes:

  • In our trespasses and sins, we are are dead; In Christ, we are made alive.
  • It is only because of God’s grace, mercy, and kindness that we are saved.
  • Our own ways, our own works, have no power, and get us no where and lead us to destruction and wrath. 
  • The grace that God has given us propel us to do good works, the works that he prepared for us to do.
  • Faith is the determining factor of grace. We must have faith that Christ has accomplished His work on the cross.
  • We once “walked” in our trespasses and sins; now, we must “walk” in the works that Christ has prepared for us by his grace. 

I would have never seen any of the themes to this passage if I had not started the work of meditation and memorization (I still have a long way to go on these verses, but they are coming along). I am so thankful that the Lord placed the women of FBCN in my life to help stir me up in love in good works: “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24). Woman’s A&E (accountability and encouragement) has been crucial to the refining of my faith; it is a tool of the Lord, indefinitely. The Lord has blessed me with these women, and Lord-willing, I will get to be apart of that church—in some way, shape, or form—for the rest of my life.


To Be Continued… =)

Longing for Love & Love in Real Life…tear-jerker…

A few weeks ago, I had the privilege to be apart of an event with many young women at my college campus called “Love in Real Life.” This event was geared toward women who are striving to follow and serve the Lord inside a world with so many pressures telling you to do the opposite. This event had four speakers: Merea Price, Dr. Jeff and Angela Mooney, and Roxanna Grimes. They spoke on contentment in singleness, how marriage cannot be our only hope…Christ is, and how the Lord can heal from sin, abortion, premarital sex, and other things through His gospel message. This event was put on by a great woman and friend, Whitney Keep, and it was such a great thing for so many women, including myself, who attended that night. Whitney wrote to the infamous and wonderful Elisabeth Elliot and she wrote back to the women of CBU. Re-reading it today brought tears to my eyes. She is so eloquent and filled with the Spirit. Here is her letter:

~~~

Longing for Love
Elisabeth Elliot

Judging by the piles of letters I receive on this subject, I deduce that almost all young women are, quite naturally, longing for love. As a college girl, so was I. Few men are as eager as women are to seek a mate. May women write long letters to me explaining how they first saw a certain young man and “felt” at once that this is the man the Lord had picked out for them. Perhaps he was.

And perhaps he wasn’t. C.S. Lewis, in LETTERS TO MALCOLM, describes faith as “the state of mind which desperate desire working on a strong imagination can manufacture. [This] is not faith in a Christian sense. It is a feat of psychological gymnastics.” It is no my prerogative, of course, to tell my correspondent that she is mastaken as to God’s choice. She might possibly be right, and hopes I will be able to confirm her strong suspicion. It is my job, however, to remind her that “peace is the reward of those who love Thy law” (Ps. 199:165). The peace of Jesus was God’s gift to Him because He had no desire but to do the will of the Father. We must always remember that we have a Heavenly Father who knows far better than we do what is best for us. Marriage is a wonderful gift if given. It is not by any means given to everyone (sometimes perhaps it is merely “taken,” without much thought or prayer).

God has given abundant promises in His Word to lead and guide those who seek Him. Ponder Psalm 84:11, 12: “The Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing shall He withhold form them that walk uprightly.” His wisdom far outshines ours, and only He can judge which things are, for any given individual, truly good. Only God knows if marriage is a good thing for you…So TRUST, OBEY, and proceed quietly to do His will today. Tomorrow belongs to none of us.

The Lord led the Israelites all the way in the desert for forty years, to humble them and to test them in order to know what was in their hearts, whether they would keep His commands. “He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna” (Deut. 8:2,3). The people tired of the food He gave them, convinced that He was withholding the best. Are you clinging to a similar conviction?

If you are single today, thank God for it. Do today’s work. You don’t have tomorrow. “It is good that a [woman] should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord” (Lam. 3:26). Don’t go after a man. Let God bring the right man at the right time, if marriage is in His plan for you. Remember that He loves you with an everlasting love and has drawn you with lovingkindness (Jer 31:3). Do you believe He is trustworthy? Now can you repeat the following words honestly?

I am willing to receive what You send,
To do without what You withhold,
To relinquish what You take,
To suffer whatever You assighn,
To do what You command,
To be what You ask me to be–
At any cost, now and forever.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:19).

Do try to remember, my dear friend, that peace come with acceptance. I have truly found it so in my long life–to be able to say as Mary did, “I am the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as You have said” (Luke 1:38), or, in today’s English, we may say, “Here I am, Lord. Do anything you want with me.

~~~

To Be Continued… =)