As a parent, the temptation to let out a harsh word is often. A kid spills purple paint onto your grey rug (happened yesterday). Another says tells a friend they don’t want to go to their party (happened yesterday). Then that morning threw a tantrum over getting caught playing video games before school and chores, then when given grace, chose to continue to play and get it taken away the rest of the day – but I’m the problem. And yet another hit their sister (happened yesterday). And just 40 minutes ago, another of my kids snuck upstairs into their room with a cup full of chocolate chips thinking I wouldn’t hear or notice. 

I’m honestly sitting here dumbfounded about the last 24 hours. Beyond having major instances of disobedience/sneakiness/accidents, we had some kids do some mean things *to* my kids. Mama bear was emerging. Another temptation for a mean, harsh word. 

But I’ve found mama bear even comes out when my kids get sneaky or disobey. I have a strong desire to see my kids grow up to love the Lord and walk in his ways, often I let those desires turn into idols. So when they do not do as I expect they should, my mama bear comes out in desperation to get them to see the error of their ways and conform to my image of what they should be. 

Just this week, I came across proverbs 15:1 and have been meditating on it. However, not enough. 

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” 

My heart wants to scream a harsh word in desperation to get them to fall into line. But that’s not the way. That’s not what God has called me to. He has called me to love and extend grace. 

When someone hurts my kid, yes, I protect them if necessary, but ultimately, I extend grace. We have all been there – been the one to hurt someone else. We have said a word we didn’t (or did) mean that was hurtful. We have favored a friend leaving another out. We have yelled at others when a soft answer was necessary. We’ve hit siblings and snuck chocolate and disobeyed our parents. And yet, Jesus has still extended that grace to me. 

Ephesians 2:1-10 says, “[1] And you were dead in the trespasses and sins [2] in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—[3] among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

[4] But God, 

being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, [5] even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—[6] and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, [7] so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. [8] For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, [9] not a result of works, so that no one may boast. [10] For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

Because of God’s rich grace and mercy being lavished on us, even when we were dead in our trespasses (our deeds), we have been made alive in CHRIST! 

It is nothing I have done. Only his works which has made me alive. So none of my harsh words can change my children’s hearts (or their friends). It is only God. So this morning I’m practicing letting down my mama bear claws and breathing. Praying for my children’s hearts. Praying for my children’s friends hearts. Praying they each get to experience the same grace I have experienced. 

Still not sure how to address the chocolate sneaking that happened 40 minutes ago, but praying God gives me the right words to say to extend that same grace he lavished on me.