Month: October 2015

His Grace Still Amazes Me…

Published on by Sarah E. CooleyLeave a comment

Ever have a song that has stuck with you through years of your life? It seems like every time you are walking through a hard time in life God just brings it back into your heart and presses repeat?

Gosh, there is this one song that God just brings back into my life over and over and over again.

~~~ 

In my senior year of high school, I went and heard the University Choir and Orchestra of California Baptist University perform. It was at a church and the experience was unreal. Unlike any choir performance I had ever been apart of. Each note carefully selected and played with such delicacy. The risers swayed back and forth as the choir members swayed to the song and sang with such passion and care – almost like waves at the ocean. The director was passionate and interactive. During the performance, the choir members gathered around the audience and sang an acapella song, and my musical heart just about beat out of its’ chest. I knew I had to be apart of this choir…

They sang a song – I think it was the last song or the encore – that I could sing along to for the rest of my life, never get tired of it. It started out with a beautiful soprano soloist…”My faithful father, enduring friend, your tender mercy’s like a river with no end…” she sang, like an angel.

The tenor came in…”it overwhelms me, covers my sin, each time I come into your presence, I stand in wonder once again.”

Perfectly harmonizing, they sang together, “Your grace still amazes me. Your love is a mystery. Each day, I fall on my knees. Because your grace amazes me. Your grace still amazes me…”

And that chorus, to this day, rings in my ear, in the good times and in the hard times: “Your grace STILL amazes me.” And tears flood my eyes and spill over onto my cheek.

After that choir performance I went to as many performances as I could. One performance, I went up to meet the conductor and tried out to be in that same choir the following year. By his grace, I got to sing and sway with those fellow musicians singing that same song (watch the video here…I’m behind the orchestra so you can’t see me but I’m one of those many voices in the choir).

~~~

As that song echos in my heart, I think, “How can God who has been rejected over and over again still offer me grace? How could God who I have spit on with my actions countless times offer me grace?” It still amazes me.

James 1:22-25 says, “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.”

I read the second verse and I think, how silly! How could someone forget what they look like?! Well, thats the point. God, who gives us the perfect law of liberty, lavishes grace on us. It is now apart of our identity if we have accepted Jesus into our lives to be our Lord and Savior. Yet, so often we live our lives as if that is not who we are, under a different facade, wearing a mask almost. It is like looking into the mirror and forgetting what you look like. Foolishness.

Yet, he is great in mercy and rich in grace!

Later, the choir and orchestra come in full voice and full volume…they sing, “It’s deeper, it’s wider, it’s stronger, it’s higher than anything my eyes can see! Your grace still amazes me! Your love, still a mystery. Each day I fall on my knees. Because your grace still amazes me, yes, your grace still amazes me.”

The choir and orchestra coming together so powerfully parallels my own life; in community, living life with others, I realize all to often how God’s grace amazes me. I realize how we are all given so much grace and so much love. It is truly overwhelming to be reminded that Jesus died not just for me, but for the world. I cannot praise him more. And when I remember my identity and become a doer of the word and not just a hearer, I am blessed.

As I sit here on the floor, folding the laundry that has been sitting here since Monday, and getting ready to do the dishes that have been in the sink for who knows how long, thinking back on my day yesterday that didn’t turn out how I would have liked it to (or lots of expectations I had for life that didn’t turn out, for that matter), I can think back to this song playing on repeat in my heart and stand in wonder once again…HIS GRACE STILL AMAZES ME!

When people have failed me or when I have failed, he is still constant; he is still here. God has protected me, provided for me, lavished me with gifts and goodness and faithfulness and grace. He has given me today, a new day, to bask in his grace and choose to remember what my identity is. My identity is not yesterday and my past and my mistakes; it is today and His grace. Praise God.

Bask in his grace today!

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” – Psalm 73:26

To All The Mamas Out There…

Published on by Sarah E. Cooley1 Comment

Navigating motherhood is an interesting thing… 

Jackson one day old…oh boy, I had no clue what I was getting myself into…

There are a billion and one ways to do things:

Exclusively breast feed or formula feed or a combination of both.

Pump once in a blue moon or pump every day….nipple confusion and engorgement and all that other fun stuff.

Stay at home mama or a working mama or stay at home working mama.

Sleep train or cosleep and scheduled naps and random naps.

Cry it out or dont. Ferber or extinction or attachment parenting.

Cloth diapers or disposable. Inserts or prefolds or huggies or honest.

Pureed foods or baby led weaning or gerber jars or solely organic.

Seriously, there’s a book on each of the different facets of parenting…and each way tells you that it is THE way to parent, and if you don’t do it, you are wrong.

We have this mindset that babies are fragile beings (and they are, not saying they aren’t) that will break if we make even close to one mistake. There is quite a weight put on us mommies that if our babies didn’t get the attention they needed as infants that they will be the next young adult to bring a gun into their school because they were left to cry a minute too long…or they will be depressed in their teen years because they didn’t get enough tummy time…or they wont be as successful because they had too much screen time.

When we really think about it, we put this weight on ourselves because society has given us this weight. Think about it: a kid is rude and we think, “who are their parents? They were not raised right?” Or a kid is depressed in their teen years or even adulthood, and we think, “They were not held enough…they weren’t given enough love.”

There is probably some truth to that, sure. If you leave your baby to cry all hours of the day that is called neglect and does have serious consequences for people. A friend of mine told me a story of a young girl who was in the same orphanage in China as the son she adopted. This young baby girl died because of neglect. It’s a real thing; it’s devastating.

But as meaningful adults in a western country with access to all the means in the world, do we really think our choices for our babies as infants will destroy them into adulthood?

As Christians, we need to evaluate this a little further… What does God say about it?

He tells us as parents to:

  • Train up a child in the way he should go,” (Proverbs 22:6). 
  • Care for our children and protect them (Story of Moses – Exodus 2). 
  • Wean our children – so they are to grow up and mature (1 Samuel 1:24, Psalm 131:2, Hebrews 5).
  • Discipline our children to live lives following the truth toward wisdom and lives away from folly (Proverbs 22:15).
  • Not provoke their children to anger, but to bring them up in discipline and instruction of the Lord,” (Ephesians 6:1-4).
  • Etc.

In the stories of Moses, Samson, Isaac, David, and others, they are born to do great things and live out great purposes of God that only he could bring about – and in each of these people’s lives, they were definitely human and struggled with human problems. When you look at the lives of many different children in the Bible, parents are given great responsibility to teach and instruct their children. They are told to model their lives in a way that their children can follow (1 Corinthians 11:1, 2 Timothy 1:13).

Though, when it comes down to it… Children are given the command to obey their parents and to honor them. But, it is their personal choice and their freedom to do so or not.

We can parent perfectly according to every book and every mommy blog and even the Bible, but at the end of the day, they could choose to do it or not.

As women (and men, too), we know this in the core of who we are. I mean, we were those children once upon a time making our own choices despite what our parents told us. You know, that time they told you not to climb on the couch or chair and you did it anyway…and learned it the hard way by falling down and cutting open your face (yeah, a variation of that happened to me).

And, if kids will do things regardless of our “perfect” parenting, don’t you think the outcome isn’t up to us? The outcome is up to God, and our job is only to do the job he has given us well and with all of our hearts. Parent well, and stop putting so much stress into how they are going to turn out and trust God that he will honor that hard work.

But, then there’s a disconnect when we look at someone else and the way they are parenting. When it is different from the way we are parenting, we jump on the chance to judge them. We all have spent hours upon hours reading books and blogs and asking other parents questions and making our own determination of what is right or wrong for our children. And we do it with the best of motives – with love in our hearts for our babies.

So why do we do this? Pride, maybe. I don’t know. Maybe because we have done so much research and put so much energy into figuring out the right answers that we think others should *clearly* be doing something the same way we are. I really don’t know the right answer. And God knows I have been guilty of doing these same things.

I think there are important things that we must teach our children and responsibilities that God has entrusted to us as parents (listed some of those things above). We need to do those things and honor God in them. But everything else, if guided in love and care for our babies, why do we have to judge? Why do we have to think less of our fellow mommy who is battling just like we are to do things the right way so we don’t screw up our children? We are all in the same boat paddling down the same river? Let’s join arms instead of being at odds.

Okay, so we use cloth diapers, but another mommy thinks it’s disgusting. We do baby led weaning, but other moms have pureed excessively. We exclusively breast feed, but others have formula fed from since day one. We have done a stint of cry it out, and other moms do not. We are all different, not to mention each of our babies are different. Yes, I am passionate about those things, but it doesn’t mean what you are passionate about is any better or worse than what I have chosen. Follow God, love your babies, and keep doing the best you are doing. I am proud of you!

Unintended Tribute to My Parents….

Published on by Sarah E. CooleyLeave a comment

(I’d like to preface this post: in no way am I judging or looking down upon any parents who didn’t do this or aren’t doing this…or saying my parents were perfect…It is by the grace of God I and my siblings are who we are… 1 Corinthians 15:1)

If you ask any person what they think they want their child to be like, they would never say: “indulgent,” “entitled,” “selfish,” “rude,” etc.

As a person without a child, you have this dreamy view of what your children are going to be like. My child will be: kind, nice, gentle, respectful, loving, giving, selfless, etc. They wont be rude or selfish – they wont be entitled like so many other kids running around these days.

I write this after watching a youtube video of a young adult who verbally and physically assaulted a manager of a store after he came in drunk demanding service…actually demanding mac n’ cheese. So crazy! This kid was arrested…it wasn’t his first incident with the law. He had two other incidences at a different college doing something similar. It grieved my heart because that is not uncommon these days.

~~~

I used to work at a University in the Residence Life department as a receptionist, and it would blow me away the type of kids and parents that would walk through the doors or call our office.

Calls almost always went something like this…

Parent: “My child doesn’t like their roommate; they NEED another one. You must move them.” 

Not only was it shocking that they demanded a change for their child thinking that all they needed to do was snap our fingers and something would change, but it was shocking that they called our office at all and their child who is an adult going to a university wasn’t the one calling and taking responsibility.

Call mommy and daddy and everything will be alright. They will make it better. They will demand for a change.

Most of the time, we would have to tell the parents that their children must call back and request this. Or that their children must talk to their Resident Assistant or Resident Director first.

I was also a resident assistant. What an interesting job that was…I literally had a resident PEE in front of my door. LITERALLY…pull their pants down and PEE…on the carpeted ground…what?!?! Honestly, I couldn’t believe it. After I was in shock for a second, I cried. Sobbed, actually. How could someone be that rude, that hurtful intentionally.

~~~

Having a kid myself, I think back on the stories I have from working in Residence Life. What was the difference in those kids lives versus my own. What did my parents do that was different from others parents. My parents weren’t perfect – they would be the first to admit that – but they did do something different. And not every child who is raised the way my parents raised us will turn out well…God knows, they raised me well, and I still chose rebellion at points in my life.

Here’s some things I think they did right:

1) They prayed with us…often. Every night, my parents prayed with us. It was either my mom or my dad. I still can remember my moms prayer that she would pray every night. I even find myself praying it over Jackson before I put him into bed. That wasn’t the only time we prayed. We prayed before meals, prayed before tests or school, prayed when we were upset or after we got disciplined. Prayer was a HUGE part of our lives. Specifically in regards to prayer and my life, being one of THE MOST stubborn kids in the world, my parents prayed that I would use my stubbornness for good and not evil. Thank God they did. I couldn’t imagine the places my stubbornness would take me if I didn’t know God and follow him.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything with prayer and suplication, with thanksgiving…” Philippians 4:6-10

2) They lived out their faith. James 2:14-26 talks about the concept that faith without deeds is dead. My parents were people of integrity, character, and love. I remember a story of my dad and I going to bakers off of University when it used to be there… we were walking into the restaurant and there was a homeless man sitting down on a little patch of grass. My dad offered to buy the guy a burrito. If I remember correctly, the man declined. I couldn’t believe it. But my dad nonetheless offered time and time again. We didn’t have a lot of money, but he knew we had it better than they and the least we could do is to offer. There’s stories like this from my mom as well. Time and time again, they lived out the qualities of a Christ follower so we could see them.

“What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him?” James 2:14

3) They were not afraid to discipline us and discipline us well. As I think back to my days in Residence Life, one of the qualities I think that is lacking in parenting today is discipline. Parents do not let their children feel the affects of wrongdoing. Your kid is mean to his classmates and they don’t get invited to birthday parties or play dates…well, thats the other kids fault, not mine. Or, your kid doesn’t like a classmate (for no real reason except they don’t like them) so they talk to the teacher to get them to move their kid… What parents often think is that their kid shouldn’t have to feel discomfort or pain. “I can’t spank my kid or they will be messed up psychologically for the rest of their lives,” they think. I would beg to differ. Spanking or punishment when done in the appropriate times and in the appropriate manner can yield great fruit and make the biggest difference in a child. Positively reinforcing a child who is rebellious will only cause him/her to become more rebellious. Punishment and discipline is good when used appropriately.

This is even the case with the parenting of infants. Cry it out is deemed child abuse by many because letting your kid cry for three nights (in small pockets of time and supervised) in order to get them trained to sleep through the night is better than a year full of crying and no sleep (every two hours at night…and throughout the day while fighting naps…also side note: I find that my kid cries less because we have gone through the sleep training and a short cry it out stint because when it’s time to go down, he goes down vs. crying all day because he is over-tired…Hello run-on sentence!!). Controlled discipline and controlled pain is good when its outcome is goodness and love. Injuring your child (whether physically or emotionally) is a different story. Discipline rooted in love is good and brings glory to God. Don’t mishear me on this…I am in no way condoning neglect or abuse. I am condoning controlled, intentional discipline and training for the betterment of the child.

“For the moment, all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11

4) They shielded us from the evil and horrors of this world. This can seem counter to point 3, but it is quite different. Children are innocent. They come into this world not understanding evil or pain. They don’t understand that bad people exist and that there are people who do things to hurt others. I think this is so beautiful. To see the world through the eyes of a child is a beautiful thing. They see things through such fresh eyes. They have so much faith in people and think good of people. My parents chose to shield us from certain evil things. We were not allowed to watch certain movies or listen to certain music. To this day, there is songs from the 90s that I don’t even know that many of my peers know. My peers will be singing along, and it is my first time hearing the song. The show ‘Friends’ was a show that many of my peers grew up watching, but I didn’t watch my first episode until college (I love the show now, by the way).

My parents recognized the beauty in this innocence, and it has made a huge difference in my life. I value things that are good and pure. I love listening to music that is free of cuss words and sexual references. I love watching movies that are filled with uplifting stories and kind-hearted plot. And I think this flows into my character. I know I am not perfect. I know I can be very selfish. But, the more and more I fill my mind and heart with things that are good and from the Lord (Philippians 4), and the more and more I put away things that are evil, the more peace I find. This doesn’t mean I am ignorant of the evil of this world; my parents made sure we knew not to go with strangers and that there was sickness and death and sin. But they did it in an age appropriate manner.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4:8-9)

(Crazy piece of info and I wish I could remember where I heard this…a movie was shown to people in a rural village where TVs weren’t available. They showed a scene of someone being shot and murdered and the people watching actually threw up. We have become so numb to death and murder and gun shots because it has been engrained into our culture through movies and media. Just some food for thought… [if anyone knows where that information came from, please share!])

5) They were involved in our lives and our friendships. I would say I had the cool parents growing up (they would be happy to hear that, I’m sure). People liked coming to our house, and they liked my parents. We would have sleepovers and hangouts and my parents were always present. Yes, they would somewhat keep their distance, but they were always engaging us about our friends and interested in ours and their lives. They also came to our games and rooted us on. They were at our choir and play performances. They were heavily involved and invested. They not only invested time, but money into our skills. My brother took pitching lessons and catching lessons in baseball. He was in little league and in theater. I took voice lessons. My sister and I took piano lessons. We all were in things that cost money. Each activity also costed time. Precious time. We knew our parents were on our side, in our corner. But we also knew that they valued hard work. If they were going to invest money and time into these activities, we better practice and do well. And we did and do.

“And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.’ (Colossians 3:14-17)

6) Most of all, they cared about our faith in God. There was not a moment of our lives that this was not on the forefront of our lives. It affected every decision that they made regarding our future from where we went to school to which friends we spent the most time with. My parents sacrificed a lot to put us through Christian School. Now, this isn’t the only and best option necessarily for a kid, but it was the best option for us. We had Bible class daily from the time we were 5 until we graduated college. It was a SACRIFICE because it cost money – money that was not always in surplus. 😉 The other decision it affected was the church we attended. My parents had been going to a church they LOVED for years. We drove 45 minutes to be at this church. It was a huge part of their lives. But, once we became old enough to be apart of youth groups and hang outs, 45 minutes was just too far. My parents sacrificed their comfort at the church they loved to make sure we were at a church that provided a place for us to grow and learn about God close to home. Because of this sacrifice, each of me and my siblings grew to know and love the Lord.

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)

~~~

I know these things are not always popular or easy. My mom sacrificed a career in a specific field so she could be present in our lives. She got a job at our school and a church so she could work the hours we were in school so she could be present for games and the times we weren’t in school. They sacrificed nice cars and new clothes and lots of things so that we could go to a private school and participate in all the activities we were apart of. They sacrificed their comfort time and time again when it came to disciplining us and even choosing to leave the community that they loved so much so that us kids could grow in our faith and know Jesus.

I didn’t initially intend for this post to be a tribute to my parents, but when I look at their lives and what they did to ensure we knew Jesus and grew up living out our faith in love and with character, I am astounded. They didn’t do everything right, no…I could probably make a list of what-not-to-do, but who couldn’t make a list like that when you are so close to someone. But, their lives stand out to me. And I am grateful. And by the grace of God, I pray that Eric and I can be parents like that to Jackson one day. Raise him with a knowledge of who Jesus truly is and why he had to come, die on the cross, and rise again. Raise him with love in his heart for others and the world. Raise him with loving discipline and pain within a controlled, loving setting.

~~~

Jesus,

Please show grace to Eric and me so that Jackson (and Lordwilling, his siblings) grow to know you. Grow up to be a man of character and love. Grow up to care for the people of this world and to not be stained by the evil things of this world. Please guide us in discipline and guide us in our decisions in how to raise him.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen

Peets Coffee, the Ocean, and God…

Published on by Sarah E. CooleyLeave a comment

Some days, I just go and sit by the ocean. Just me (and Jackson, but he’s usually sleeping in the back seat).

I pull up along PCH, keep the A/C running, and listen to the man on the Bible app read to me the Bible. It is refreshing. It restores my soul.

A few years ago, I would leave work and race to get down to the beach for the sunset. I remember sitting there after a long day and just breathing in the salt air – breath in…breath out… breath in… breath out… peace.

Recently, I have been driving down after I have gotten my Peet’s coffee (the way to my heart) and after Jackson has fallen asleep on the drive down to the beach.

Today was one of those days. I was craving the ocean….craving that time with God.

I sat, listened to my bible, drank my coffee, and peered out at the vast ocean and remembered once again how small I am and how great my God is. My problems are only so small and so fleeting.

Today, I was listening to 1 Samuel 8 where Israel begs Samuel for a (human) king (verses having God rule as king over them). Samuel is quite disappointed because his two sons have turned away from the Lord, and as 1 Samuel 8:3 says, “[they] did not walk in his ways but turned aside after gain. They took bribes and perverted justice.”

As a mother, if Jackson had done that I would be crushed. Imagine living your life following after God to only have your sons not walk with God and to even go so far as to accept bribes and pervert justice…that would be devastating. And then to top it off, the nation that God has appointed you (HA, so glad I don’t actually have a nation to judge) to judge decides they want an imperfect person to be king over them because they think (the perfect, almighty) God isn’t doing a good enough job – basically not doing what they want when they want it done.

I was listening to that thinking how many times the people around me have done things that disappoint me. I tend to have expectations for people that are pretty grand. I don’t expect perfection, but pretty darn close. When people do wrong, I take it personally because I have such high hopes for them. I want the best for them.

Today as I was listening, God was teaching me something as he taught Samuel thousands of years ago. He says, “Obey the voice of the people in all that they say to you, for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected me from being king over them,” (1 Samuel 8:7 ESV). As Samuel took their rejection personally, I have taken rejection personally. But God says something different. When people fail, it is not against us, it is against Him. I have followed God and trusted in Him, and when things go wrong, if I am truly following God, it is not against me, it is against God.

I think that is why in Ephesians, Paul tells us as women to ‘submit to your own husbands, AS TO THE LORD,’ (Ephesians 5:22-23 ESV) and to ‘[submit] to one another out of reverence for Christ,” (Ephesians 5:21 ESV). Samuel was submitting to the Lord as he was leading the Israelites. The Israelites rejected God and turned away from him (SO. MANY. TIMES). But God reminded Samuel that it was his job to follow God and instruct the people; it was the people’s job and choice whether they were going to follow God or not.

I think this is true in our own lives as well. We follow God and want the people around us to follow God. We put expectations on the people who we are walking through life with. I’m following God so they should too. Or, I am following God so they shouldn’t hurt me. God reminds us, no, we follow God solely to please him, not to dictate how our world, or the people in our world, will turn out. Don’t take rejection personally. Don’t take pain and hurt from others personally.

Israel ended up getting the human king they asked for. They also got all of the consequences that came along with it as God tells them they will get. Taxes, corruption, pain, etc… People around us will choose things that we don’t always like or they will choose not to follow God, they will hurt us, and we will experience pain because of the choices they have made. But, if we are following God, he will reward us for that in His time. It may not be until we see him face-to-face after we leave this earth, but regardless, we will get our reward.

So, I suppose, as I was sitting in my car at the beach this morning, peering out at the ocean sipping my coffee, God was teaching me, it will be okay. Pain is temporary; Following God is eternal. The problems we face in this world and the hurt done to us is so small compared to eternity with him.

And, as the corny Christian radio DJ reminded me this morning: “take heart, [he has] overcome the world,” (John 16:33, ESV).