Month: August 2015

First steps as…

Published on by Sarah E. CooleyLeave a comment
Did someone speed up time? I had this expectation that I would have a infant baby forever, but he is seriously growing up so fast. I can’t take it…

As a mother, God has entrusted you with these sweet babies to teach and to watch grow and learn. The key word in that statement is that they are ‘entrusted’ to us. They are our responsibility for a time, but they are born to be raised to become adults responsible for themselves.

A few days ago, Jackson began standing, holding onto the edge of his exersaucer. The first time he stood there unassisted, I about cried. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The baby who needed me for everything is now becoming independent one small step at a time. Speaking of steps, he has started holding our hands and walking.

I was taking care of some routine maintenance on our car and was hanging out in the waiting room of the service department. I was trying to keep my wiggle-worm entertained while we were waiting, so I was helping him walk around the room. There was an elderly couple sitting in a room separated by glass. He walked toward them (with my help, of course) and put both of his hands on the mirror and just started laughing and knocking on the window. They looked down at him and smiled and laughed and interacted with him. It was one of the sweetest moments ever! Seeing him bring such life to the couple who was entering the end of their life. Such a contrast: Jackson, just entering this world; this couple, in the middle of the “evil days” as the Bible calls it. Beautiful reminder for this mother in the middle of the busiest years of her life. Beautiful reminder that this life is short and our impact is for a short time.

Before long, he is going to be taking his first steps without my help, his first steps into his first day of school, his first steps into his first job, his first steps into college, his first steps as a married man. Life is a gift. Each day, every breath gifted to us.

As a mother of a young baby, it is easy to get distracted by the little things: teething baby (See: “How to Survive Teething”), dirty diaper after dirty diaper, nursing sessions, play time, laundry, dishes, etc.

All good things. All necessary things. Our life would be horrible if I never cleaned dirty diapers. Jackson would not be my little buddha baby if I didn’t nurse or feed him. You get the idea…important things.

But, what is the most important thing to remember? Ecclesiastes 12:1 and 7 says it best:

“Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near of which you will say, ‘I have no pleasure in them’…and the dust returns to the earth as it was, and the spirit returns to God who gave it. Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher; all is vanity,” (ESV).

The greatest thing I could do for my baby today while time is quickly escaping me is to remember my Creator (in my days of my [fleeting] youth). Everything else is vanity compared to remembering my Creator because my days are numbered. Jackson’s days are numbered. My husband’s days are numbered. Your days are numbered. All of our days are numbered.

We are all just marching on toward our impending death. Pretty morbid if you think too much about it, but it is one of the only certain things in life: death….(and taxes, right? ;))

So, when I am young, I can remember my creator by spending time in his Word daily. It is one of the simplest ways to remember Him. Yet, how often do I choose to browse facebook or instagram instead of reading the Word…vanity. How often do I choose to sleep the extra 10 minutes, 15 minutes instead of reading the Word…pretty vain. I neglect the Word so, so often. It’s almost a joke how often I neglect God in one of the simplest ways that he has given us.

When I am young, another way I can remember my creator by investing my time in my church. Now, this is one area that I love to invest in. I love and have always loved people. I love spending time with people and will make any excuse to spend time with them…in fact, I probably, at times, overcommit to this. (this summer I read “The Best Yes” by Lysa Terkeurst, and it was life-changing for me in saying “no” to the good, small things, and “yes” to the great things). But, if you are not on the extreme extrovert side of the extrovert-introvert scale, then you might have to be more intentional in this. Join a bible study, home group, or growth group. Serve/volunteer your time to a ministry that the church has that fits your skill set and fills a need that they may have. Maybe, you simply need to just go. Maybe you go, but sporadically. Commit and make it a non-negotiable in your life. Church, in my experience, is a vanity crusher. And, in my experience, it is such a beautiful way to remember God through teaching, worship, and service.

And, let me tell you, when the hard times come – and they will come – this church, this community, will lead you back to God and will constantly help you to remember God. They will help you remember God when the days are evil. Church is irreplaceable and invaluable.

When I am young, another way I can remember God is through prayer. When we pray, what we are doing is humbling ourselves and remembering that God is BIG, and we are small – simply put, ridding ourselves of vanity. He is the one who controls everything, not us. He has power over everything, not us. He directs everything, not us. He controls time, not us.

Prayer takes the focus off of us and onto Him. When we pray, we are giving Him the reigns and telling Him that He is Lord of our lives. It is when we pray that we are redirected from our selfish, self-centered hearts, to his will and what he would have us to do. Prayer reminds us that our days are fleeting like the grass and flowers.

“The grass withers, the flowers fade, but the word of our God will stand forever,” (Isaiah 40:8 ESV).

Which leads to the way I love to pray. One of my favorite ways to pray is by reading through his Word and praying the prayers and letters that those much wiser than I have prayed and have written. Reading through Psalms and Proverbs and the gospels and praying those things over our lives and the lives of those around us ensures that our prayers are in line with his will and his Word, the Word that will stand forever.

So, how can you remember God today and rid yourself of vanity? It’s tough, but worth it!

~~~

“As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more. But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children’s children, to those who keep his covenant and remember to do his commandments. The LORD has established his throne in the heavens, and his kingdom rules over all,” (Psalm 103:13-19 ESV).

Orchestra of Opinions

Published on by Sarah E. CooleyLeave a comment

Can I be honest here?

This topic feels daunting to me. I have shared and shared and shared…prayed and prayed and prayed… and it still feels like a mountain too steep for me to climb.

This topic is one that is controversial. People on either side have STRONG opinions that are immovable.

It is one that has effected people from 80 and 90 years old to those who are just a wee speck in their mother’s eye.

Yet, here I go, beating on that drum still hoping to make some difference, a beautiful noise, in this orchestra of opinions.

Life. It matters. So much. That baby still in their mother’s womb. That baby born just two seconds ago. That baby born 6 months ago. That person born 86 years ago. Each one, each soul, conceived into this world and walking through a life that was not necessarily one they chose.

Sin has tarnished this life with grief, hurt, pain, sadness, terror, sickness. Each person in this world will experience one of those things, but most likely multiple of those things in their lifetime. No one is free from the pain of this sin-stricken world. The soul who is still in their mother’s womb, to the soul who is 86 years old. Each of us, feeling the pain. Each of us, trying our best to manage and cope with what life is all about.

I can see where those on the opposite side of the spectrum are coming from and I know they don’t have ill-intentions. They don’t think abortion is “good,” per se, but they say it is a necessary evil. They want women, who have been treated as “less than” for so long, to be treated with “equality.” Good endeavors and great intentions. They look at the rate of children born into this world to families that are subpar. They see the rate of children born into this world without families at all – motherless and fatherless. They see the rate of children brought into this world where the mother has to deal with the pain and scars of rape. They are told their baby will be born with a birth defect or with a disability. Where is the fairness in bringing a child into the world with those odds against them? These things are a reality in this world, so I get it. I get that you want to fight against them; I do.

To be honest, it pains me that that is the reality of this world. I want to fight against them. But, it has been that way since Adam and Eve decided to rebel against God. It is a painful reality (but, thankfully, not one without hope).

I think, in the world’s venture to rectify the wrong they see, they end up choosing another wrong choice. In the process of “saving” those children from a life condemned to poverty, pain, sickness, terror, and hurt, they end up condemning those sweet children to death.

Each one not even given the chance to redeem their own story. I have countless friends who have been adopted and have rewritten the story that was supposed to be written for them. Friends who have families. Friends who now have stable jobs and houses and cars and things. They weren’t even supposed to graduate high school because they grew up in the foster system. Yet, in the world’s standard, they are making it. I would say they are even thriving.

And to take it even farther beyond just the world’s standard, in God’s standard they are “making it.” They love Jesus. They are following him and walking alongside of Him. Their life is producing fruit.

But, but, but…they were born and are in foster care waiting to be adopted. But, but, but…they were born into a family with only the mother. But, but, but…they were born into a family with teen parents.

Why do these things matter? Why are you condemned to death because your parents don’t want you? Why are you condemned to death because of your parent’s choices? Why are you condemned to death because of the sin of another?

Asking these questions, I am reminded of someone else who was in a similar situation to these sweet children. He had teen parents who were not yet married when he was in his mother’s womb. Though his parent’s did not sin, they were looked on by the community with disdain. If it was current day and if fear or shame got the best of them, they could have chosen to make the same decision that many parents in this world make – to take their child’s life in the womb.

Jesus came into this world birthed by a teen mother. She was betrothed to Joseph, but they weren’t married. To those in her family and community, and even to Joseph at one point, she was seen as an outcast and untrustworthy and deceitful. Once the baby was born, the ruler of the time wanted to kill her baby (crazy environment to be born into). But, she carried on because she had purpose and conviction. She knew, as a woman, what her responsibilities were; she was entrusted this baby. And she knew that if she did the right thing and followed the Lord that it would have an outcome much bigger than herself.

And it did. The baby she bore went on to be the savior of the world. He was born so that the world could be saved. He was born so that he would die a criminals death though he was without guilt.

That is the crux of the whole issue here. When we decide to play God and take life and death into our own hands, we rob the world of the chance that that sweet soul has to make an impact on this world. There will not be another baby Jesus (and thank God that “it is finished!”), but each person, because they are created by God, has a right to a chance at life.

Who are we to decide that their situation is not “good?” If Mary had made that choice, we would be in a completely different place than we are now, wouldn’t we?

What blessed hope we have, because even when we make the decision to choose what God does not want, he still has forgiveness, grace, mercy, and love for us!

Daily we rebel against his wishes, yet he welcomes us and adopts us as his own. That’s the beauty of the gospel message – we have hope! Those sweet babies born into horrible situations have hope. That teen mom in the crisis pregnancy has hope. That sweet woman who was brutalized and terrorized now with a young baby in her womb has hope. Jesus does not discriminate against the type of sin we have. In fact, because we are sinners we are qualified now to receive his grace and mercy.

So, that daunting, steep mountain that seems impossible to summit…well…it isn’t impossible with God. He has overcome death, and that powerful Jesus that overcame death now lives in us.

I choose life. Regardless of the world’s standards. Regardless of the worlds attempts at fixing and rectifying. I choose not to try to make something right by doing another wrong. Join me, will you, in this fight for hope to win, in this fight for love to win?

I want to make a beautiful noise while on this earth, and I wont settle for mediocre or subpar. I want to be excellent. I want to please the One who created me, not this world.

How to Survive Teething…

Published on by Sarah E. CooleyLeave a comment

[Sidenote: I am not complaining; I am simply making light of this current phase of my life…]

~~~
Okay, cruel to take a picture of your crying baby, I know. But I was trying to get a shot of his teeth coming in. This is an old picture, they are officially in and sharper than puppy teeth.

The pterodactyl has found his way back into the Cooley household once again. While I thought this stage in my son’s life was long gone, it has returned…in full force.

My son is a babywise baby (“On Becoming Babywise” by Gary Ezzo – look it up. It was life-changing for us!) – which means I let him CIO (Cry It Out for those who aren’t familiar with the borderline-controversial method in the current “Attachment Parenting” era). It also means I have an excellent napper, a smiley baby 99.9999% of the time, and he sleeps through the night (mostly) at 2.5-3 months old.

Okay, so anyways, back to the reason I mentioned babywise. He is such a happy, content baby – which is characteristic of most babies who follow this method (babywise).

Pterodactyl baby was pre-babywise.

I thought I would never have to deal with this side of him again. In fact, the sound of this baby dino brings anxiety to me…my shoulders tense up…my heart starts beating quickly…I clinch my jaw… No bueno.

So post-babywise, I love my happy, smiley, laughy, predictable baby.

Until, teething.

I still love my baby, but I don’t like the pterodactyl cries that are now 7 billion times louder than when he was a newborn. I now have permanently tense shoulders, my heart is beating on overdrive, and my jaw aches.

So, how have I survived this? I have a few techniques:

One)

Post on facebook “teething is no joke…[insert baby name] and I are both crying” and wait for every single mother on facebook to offer her advice – it is awesome! I didn’t have to google a thing.

Seriously, look:

Seriously, I love how much mom’s come together and help each other out…what would I do without y’all. 

Two) 

Texts to husband for sympathy… This text reminded him that I didn’t have time for my normal responsibilities like dishes, laundry, or even showering…and a plus, I protested making dinner and so he brought home In n’ Out.

Three) 
Go places where other people will hold your baby and think his crying is cute i.e. church, moms groups with older moms without babies, grandma and grandpa’s house, invite grandma and grandpa over, aunts and uncle’s houses, friend’s house’s without babies, the grocery store (kidding…sorta), etc. etc. etc.
I can’t tell you how many times people have saved the day by holding my son. I show up flustered with my hair disheveled and my makeup smeared by the tears, and these ladies (and sometimes men) know the look in my eyes. Take the baby before I lose it completely. I love my church! If you are interested in joining, I’d be glad to accompany you on a Sunday or to our mom’s group.
Four) 
I’m not much of a drinker…of alcohol, but coffee….. 
Coffee, coffee, coffee… more specifically, Peets Coffee. There isn’t one close to my house. The closest is really 15 minutes away without traffic. But, on hard days where the pterodactyl will not calm down, we take a drive to my good friend Peet’s and grab a cup of joe. And on really bad days, I spill it everywhere and my husband offers to give me his. That’s love. 
(and apparently, I spill coffee often and am a klutz 😉 )
Five)
Cry. Ugly Cry. Sob. Tear up. “I’ve got something in my eye.” Laugh-cry (Bachelor watchers? anyone…Ashley I? Anyone…anyone?…okay, only me). However you want to put it, just cry. 
It really does help. Well, it doesn’t help your teething, crying baby, but it does help you. 
It’s amazing how when I am done crying, I go from thinking the world is going to end to feeling like I can tackle whatever comes my way. Teething, no problem… Diaper blow out, I got this (P.S. happened this morning…on my favorite sweatshirt…insert crying emoji here…see, crying helps)… 
Six)
Target. I was gonna add it to number three, but it deserves its own category. 
I have been to target 5 times in the last 3 weeks. I try to avoid target at all possible because…Hello…$100 exit fee… But, there’s something relaxing about walking around and looking at things you can’t buy (and some you can, and many I do) while other moms walk around with toddlers and kids who are throwing tantrums while your kid is crying because he’s teething. I know, one day my kid is going to be the tantrum throwing kid (hopefully not, but probably because I wrote about it and totally judged them…can you say jinxed?). For now, there is a valid reason behind the pterodactyl crying.
Seven)
And, finally, at the end of the day, remember that one day, they are going to lose all the teeth they worked so hard to get. And then one day, because your son is an avid thumb sucker, he will need braces as everyone so kindly reminds me of. Soon, you’ll get to be the tooth fairy and reward him for all that hard work.
Your journey with teeth is far from over, but this stage of life is so much fun, too. 6 months is, so far, the best age. He is sweet and funny. He is curious and inquisitive. He is alert. He loves people. He is loving. 
With all the hard moments (and weeks, lately…), I wouldn’t trade one of them for the world. This journey is amazing. And rewarding. And a blessing beyond what I could have ever hoped. God sure knows how to give good gifts. So at the end of the day, I am thankful for teething because that means I have my baby boy.