Sleep. Something I have come to love in my 25 years of life. Something I have lost in the last 2 months of my baby’s life and miss dearly.

One of the main questions people ask me when they find out I have a two month old…”how is he sleeping?”

I think back to the night before and answer accordingly: “Normally he is a pretty good sleeper, but last night was rough,” “Great! He slept for 7 hours straight!!!” “He slept for 5 hours straight, then was up for every two hours…” So on and so forth.

About two weeks into Jackson’s life, I made an investment…a $20 investment…

a magical noise machine. (Okay, so it’s not really magical, but its effect is magical!)

Best $20 we have ever spent. He can be crying until his face turns blue and the second you turn on the white noise we have a peaceful baby. It’s almost freaky how well it works.

At church, I was telling someone about our magical noise machine and immediately Psalm 23 popped into my head…”The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul…”

Most days, I am exactly like Jackson… Crying till my face turns blue. Anxious. Unsettled. Chaotic. Unsure of the future. (And, like Jackson, it’s usually when I’m hungry…or hangry as my husband calls it)

In a moment, I am beside the quiet, still waters of his Word, and I find peace. It’s magical…or mystical…whatever word you prefer. He restores my soul.

I spend so much time in the “valley of the shadow of death,” but I spend my time there fearing evil because I forget that God is with me and I forget that I can turn to Him and I will find peace by the calm stream of His Word.

Like the wiseman in Psalm 1, when I delight in the law of the Lord and meditate on it day and night, I will be like a tree planted by streams of water, who produces fruit in season, and whose leaf does not wither. That is soul restoring. That is peace.

Lord, please help me to delight myself in your word, to meditate on it day and night. To walk, or crawl if I need to, to the quiet streams of your word that bring peace. Please give me peace like that of my son, who can sleep in the midst of any chaos or noise (mostly). Help me to stay grounded in you.