I always find it interesting how God leads us to exactly the right people at the right time when we are going through the situations we are going through (you friends know who you are :)). He guides us perfectly. He does not miss a beat. I get tears in my eyes thinking about the way he blesses me. I wish everyone could experience the love of God… it has changed my life. What would I do without him?!
I sit here (at home from work for the day…feeling the effects of a baby in my belly) reading the Bible He has given me as yet another form of provision and guidance…in awe.
My life is a series of seasons of running from God and Him beckoning me back to Him. My life is filled with moments of stubbornness – “I can do this on my own…I got this God.” Then, several days, months, years into my stubbornness, I find myself at his feet again, begging for him to welcome me back again. The numerous amount of times this has occurred really blows my mind. How can a God who is perfect welcome me back again? After I have spit in his face. After I have given him the finger and told him to F-off. After I have done exactly the opposite of what he has said is good for me. He has open arms, with a giant smile on his face saying, “Sarah, I have forgiven it all. Walk in freedom, the freedom I gave my life for you to have.”
Seriously, tears.
I have been reading Philippians and just pondering deeply the gospel that Jesus gave to me. The gospel that caused him mutilation, friends turning their back on him and denying they knew who he was, pain, suffering, servanthood, making himself nothing…Death.
A perfect God loving a sinner like me. Unbelievable, but I have to believe it.
And, as if dying for me wasn’t enough, Paul says he works in us to will and to work for his good pleasure. It brings the God of the universe pleasure to work in me. Again, unbelievable.
This is why I walk in freedom. This is why I rejoice because he pulls me out of the water that I was sinking in time and time again…because he finds pleasure in it. This is why I count everything as loss that I have gained in this world for the sake of knowing Jesus. As I look around my house, I have gained a lot. Above what I need to survive; I have countless luxuries. I have the ultimate comforts. But, guess what, it means nothing. If I don’t know Christ, I have severely missed the point. And a lot of my life, I have missed the point.
But, when you are overly-pregnancy-emotional, you have a lot of time to think and to think deeply. I don’t want these luxuries. I don’t even want the bare minimum. I want Jesus. Because he provided the greatest gift for me. He paid a debt that I could never repay, and he did it out of pleasure.
Read Philippians…really read it…get a glimpse into the love God has for you. Put aside your biases and your burdens. Fall in love with Jesus who fulfills all of our needs. And be thankful.
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