I don’t usually have time to write, which saddens me, but today I do.

So, what is new in my life – well…I think since my last post, I’ve started dating a handsome fella, we got engaged, and now we are two months into marriage.

Somewhere in the middle of that journey, we broke up, got back together, decided to take a “break”, sought God, reconvened, and decided that God’s grace was big enough even to catch us after our mistakes…hallelujah!

What a crazy journey it has been. I will not go into all the boring details as to why we took a step away from each other (at least not in this post), but I will say that God has used every step of our journey to bring us closer to him. I am beyond thankful!

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On the day of the wedding, standing face-to-face with my soon-to-be husband was exhilarating. We stood there with eyes filled with tears, sweaty palms, and butterflies in our bellies. We knew this crazy step into the future was a crazy step into unknown territory – family, career, money woes, sex, clashing personalities, selfishness, times of celebration, times of despair, happiness, joy, pain, grief. In that moment, we committed to walking through all of those times, hand-in-hand, through joy and pain, through it all.

It’s funny because we have experienced many of those moments already – we are a family (of two…don’t get your hopes up just yet); we both have full time jobs that take up 40+ hours of our weeks; we are paying off student and credit card debt; selfishness…let’s just say, being a working-wife is hard work…I just want to be lazy on the couch and eat my Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food while watching a National Geographic documentary on Netflix; I could go on and on and on… and that is in just two months of marriage.

Thank you GOD it is a commitment because going through all those emotions and struggles in just two months should make anyone crazy. But, because of God, I’m not…we’re not!

Yet, this has been the most I have ever grown in my life. People always ask me…”soooo, how’s married life?”

How do you answer that question? Challenging, Easy, Exciting, Selfish, Selfless, Boring, Fun, Growing, Declining, Filled with Struggle, Filled with Accomplishments.

Marriage is so intricate and unique. People always said how hard marriage was, but how wonderful and rewarding it was as well.. they were SO right. I know I haven’t even brushed the surface on difficulty, but I understand more and more of what they mean as each day goes by.

Forever, we will be changing and growing. The man I married two months ago is not the same man that I am married to today. The woman I was two months ago standing face-to-face with Eric is not the same woman today – thank God for that because I have got a lot of learning to do!

Ephesians 5:25-26 | Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of  water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish (ESV).

This verse for me spells it out – Husbands are to love their wives as Jesus loved us, the church, by laying down his life or by sacrificing himself. This is in order to sanctify or to make us holy/set apart from the world. This includes cleansing us by the washing of the water and the word – showing us Christ through the word… This is so that on the day of Christ, we will be presented without spot or wrinkle or blemish – that we will be pure and set apart.

How beautiful… day by day, he is making us holy – he is setting us apart.

After two months in, I have officially decided to keep going. Silly, I know. Two months, you say, is minuscule to even the worst off marriages – they even last 6 months to a year. Well, here’s the thing. I am always changing, he is always changing, we are both always changing. We need to constantly make the decision to keep going – to keep trying – to keep chugging along – to keep fighting – to keep creating beautiful moments.

I want to look back 30, 40, 50 years from now and say I am joyfully married to my husband. It is a daily choice starting at day 1 – 365 while in the giddy, cuddly, honeymoon stage, 5 years into marriage with kids and a dog and toddlers running around and screaming, 25 years into marriage when the kids are moved out and in college/out of college/on their own. As Bevan preached on Sunday, the big days, like weddings, are important and special, but the results are because of the small days (marriage…day-to-day-to-day-to-day)…Staying faithful.

Matthew 25:21 | “His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master'” (ESV).

Well, enough of my brain spew… 🙂