Disneyland for my 5th birthday.
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When I was quite a bit younger than I am now, I would argue and fight with my mom to the point that I would get physical and would hit and kick and bite and scream. She would always ask me in the middle of the fight, “Sarah, who is going to win this fight?” And I would always reply, “you are….” She would ask me in return, “do you want to keep fighting?”
“YES,” I would say without hesitation and would continue kicking, screaming, and crying.
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What a year already, right? How foolish am I to think that after I got through the last trial/obstacle that God had finished teaching me all that I had needed to learn. Boy, was I wrong or what?
God is so good. And so incredibly faithful. And always right on time.
Tomorrow, I have my last day at RiteLend, Inc. and my last day working in the mortgage industry. It has been a crazy ride – lots of ups and downs – but great nonetheless.
God has been relentless this last year in teaching me even when I have been stubborn and hardheaded and wanting to do my own thing. He has taken situations where I think that I have had enough and said, “No Sarah, it is not time yet. Wait – be patient. My plan is perfect.” I would wait, maybe not the most patiently, but I would wait…
Outwardly, I usually don’t wait like little 5-year-old Sarah would wait kicking my mom and screaming, but inwardly, that’s a different story. I still am just as stubborn and hardheaded as little 5-year-old Sarah. I fight with God and ask, why not? Why can’t I quit this job and work somewhere else right now? I want my dream job and I want it now!!! (Think of violet from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)
December was when I found out about this new job opportunity. It is now July. That was a long time from December to July. But God had a reason for me to wait.
He knew that I was going to get sick with mono and be out of work on and off for two months. He knew that I would have inner office conflict and would have to learn to communicate with a boss whom I did not want to respect, but knew I had to. He knew that I was going to have to take on various different job responsibilities and learn how to better multitask and prioritize. He knew that the mortgage industry was going to take a turn for the worst in the last month and that my company would have to lay off a dozen or more people.
God knew.
And all this time I was hoping for my timing (NOW) and forgetting his timing (LATER).
It is amazing how God works things out for his good. He was fully aware of all those different reasons why December would have been a disaster and why July was the perfect time to start my new job. God knew that I had lessons that I needed to learn before moving on so that I could be better prepared for this job. God knew it all and he knew what would give him the most glory.
Thank you Lord for being the God of perfect timings and for providing for your children just as they need. Thank you for being relentless and teaching my heart despite my stubbornness and hardheaded self. Thank you for being bigger than me and knowing what I need exactly when I need it. Thank you, Lord.
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Ecclesiastes 3:11 – “God has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men, yet they cannot fathom what God had done from beginning to end.”
Matthew 6:30 – 34 – “But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”
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