Month: August 2012

Comforter

Published on by Sarah E. CooleyLeave a comment
Different feelings swirl and settle in my heart.

Rejection.

Loneliness.

Forgotten.

Despised.

Sadness.

Anger.

Feelings often can lead us away from the Lord, but as I was expressing my feelings to my roommate yesterday, we both realized that we need to find our security and comfort from the Lord.

As she said that, the song “In Christ Alone” popped into my head and all of the sudden my attitude had changed.

The perfect, holy, and good God, sent His own Son to this earth to love people perfectly, without failing, to be despised and rejected, to be hung on a cross for the sins I commit daily, to ultimately suffer the most extreme suffering, to take on my sins and those of this world, to be looked away from by his father for that time.

It really put my life into perspective. Moving to Huntington Beach has been so great, but definitely hard at times. It’s far away from a community that I was once so so so close to. It is filled with relationships that are constantly forming. There is not a comfortable closeness to people quite yet – filled with awkward moments. My parents and siblings are an hour drive. I’m still not settled into my job completely – there are still so many things I do not know.

All of that uncomfortableness and yet none of it compares to the unfamiliarity and lack of comfort that Jesus felt as he hung on that cross. He perfectly and unfailingly loved the people he came in contact with filled with humility and compassion, yet people despised him and rejected him. The God of the universe loved so deeply, yet we turned our backs on him.

When you think of your life in that sense, all of it seems so silly. Why am I getting upset and sad? There is no comparison.

Yet, I have a God who understands my struggles. He understands how I am feeling. Because he was despised and rejected, I can now look to him for my ultimate comfort.

While I was listening to “In Christ Alone” a solitary tear fell from my eyes off my cheek and onto the pillow. I constantly try to make it happen on my own. I try to take control and find my security in my own efforts to do things. I find security in being popular and having comfortable friends. Yes, those things are great, but they should not be my ultimate fulfillment and what I look to find security. My security should be in Christ and his death on the cross for our sins that are so great!

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In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand 

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save 

‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live 

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again 

And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ 

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny 

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand
 

~~~
To Be Continued… 🙂 

sailboat

Published on by Sarah E. Cooley1 Comment
“We’re adrift on a sailboat

My love is the sea

Yours is the horizon

Constant and steady
You set my landlocked heart afloat
Lifted my lonesome sails
The tide is out, the moon is high
We’re sailing” 
-Brooke Fraser
~~~
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I’ve never been on a sailboat. The only boat I’ve really been on is the boat you take from the Long Beach Harbor to Catalina to go whale watching. The boat moves with the waves, but vary rarely did I lose my step. 
Though I haven’t been on a sail boat, I recently went paddle boarding, which I would assume is more touchy and finicky than a sail boat. 
I had an interesting experience while paddle boarding. If you don’t know what paddle boarding is, it is where you stand on a board similar to a surf board. You have a paddle and you are supposed to stay balanced and not fall in the water while paddling to move yourself forward…sounds easy enough, huh?…HA. I was standing up on the board, feeling pretty balanced, when all of the sudden, my hand slipped. I was thrown forward by the momentum of my swift, warrior-like paddling (kidding), causing me to land on the board on my knees and proceed straight into the water. I was completely embarrassed because from under the water I could hear the two boys with Alli (my roommate) and myself laughing hysterically. After that, I was always on guard, and good thing because I fell several more times before we were done for the night.
I just discovered the lyrics written above. They are written by, one of my favorite singer/songwriters, Brooke Fraser. She does a great job of painting a picture using words: “We’re adrift on a sailboat. My love is the sea. Yours is the horizon – constant and steady.” 
My heart longs for this type of love. The silly thing is I already have this type of love. A constant, steady love that awakens my heart to spring after a long winter. A love that makes the bitter sweet. I long to have love that is never-failing, always-joyful. I long for this love yet, it was given to me the moment I answered Christ’s call. 
In my longing for this love, I have thought to myself, “I feel ugly.” Not the appearance type of ugly, but the man-my-attitude-and-character-stink type of ugly. I prayed last night that the Lord would simply help me, help develop my character and correct my attitude and calm my ever-crazy life. This morning after I woke up from my dream, I read Psalm 89:8-9 – “O Lord God of hosts, who is mighty as you are, O LORD, with your faithfulness all around you? You rule the raging of the sea; when its waves rise, you still them.”
I serve a God who rules the raging sea, or in my case, keeps me from diving face-first into the water off a paddle board. Silly, I know, but my God is great. He can take a life that feels out of control and ugly at times, a life that is sometimes drowning in self-pity and jealousy and make it beautiful and cause it to be still (see James 3). Who am I that I deserve such love, attention, and care? I am nothing, and that is the beauty of that message. My God is a great God full of faithfulness and grace. I am so undeserving. That love is more than anything I could ever dream up or imagine.
~~~
To Be Continued… 🙂