Month: March 2012

With an hour and two minutes left of my birthday, I sit here thankful for all the beautiful people that are in my life and the wonderful activities that occurred in the last 22 hours and 58 minutes of the 27th of March 2012, and in the last year since March 27, 2011.

It has been a whirlwind of a year. This year has been a year of shaping and growing and changing. Even though at points, it was difficult and painful, it was beautiful all the same.

Here are some of the things that have changed and that I have been shaped in/by:

• In a relationship to single and spent the last 11 months in this stage of life!
• Transitioned from a junior in college to a senior
• RA in the upperclassmen apartments, now to the freshmen dorms
• prideful and harsh, to a more gentler, moldable me (still could use some major improvements on this one).
• lonely and friendless to deep, intimate friendships
• more active in my church body
• scared of even a conversation with the opposite gender outside of a “relationship,” to great, God-glorifying friendships with many brothers in Christ, which I am so thankful for by the way
• through church, various members, and pastor, through different classes and the challenge of my professors, I am better able to articulate what I believe and the new things I am learning
• also through those classes, I understand the point of education and am excited to extend that long after my college graduation in a month (on MAY 5!!!) and broader than a single subject or major
• Began to understand what it means to be an adult and independent, but also have learned how to be interdependent and to lean on my community to lead me closer to Christ as I lead others closer to Christ through honestly, love, discipline, and encouragement 
• changed from a person with lazy habits in studying and knowing scripture to an understanding of the urgency and importance of deeply knowing scripture and the Word of God
• been more deeply challenge in understanding the unsearchable riches of the gospel
• and many, many more!

So, this idea might come very strange to a lot of people and maybe even controversial, but these ideas have been spinning in my head for the last year (-ish) prompted by my different classes and time spent in the Word. Please, sit tight and give me a little room to work out my thoughts. =)

So, here I go…

The recent Christian trend I have noticed is people are extremely quick to compliment someone and extremely slow to critique/criticize someone (if they even do it at all). The term ‘criticize’ is now even negative and if you say criticize, you must add “positive” to the front of it to make it acceptable or politically correct.

Let me give you an example.

Girl A: “I can never do anything right.”  

Girl B: “No, you are fearfully and wonderfully made.” 

The problem with this is that Girl A does do most everything wrong and she was correct in stating that she does everything wrong. Girl B throws God in the picture to make Girl A feel good about herself, but it’s done based on lies. And, instead of using that statement as a gentle, loving chance to change and grow girl A, it is now used to solidify the character flaw and poor choices that she has made. Does this example help to explain my concerns?

I am so guilty of this. If a woman complains about her body or appearance, I was always the first one to tell her she was wrong and say my common phrase: “now, say 3-5 nice things about yourself” in an attempt to boost her “self-esteem.” Disclaimer: I know some girls have an unhealthy view of themselves and do need to reevaluate what they are saying and thinking, but I do not need to puff someone up in the process and fuel the pride that was already there.

Self-esteem is such a common thought in the American culture, but I would venture to challenge that idea and say that biblically and even just within humanity, the wiser option would be to think lowly of yourself and disregard ‘self-esteem’ altogether. In Philippians 2, it explains how Jesus’ life was a life lived in humility and how he emptied himself and humbled himself even to the point of death, then commands us to do the same; it reads:

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:3-8 ESV)

On another note, when we spend all of our time worrying about our own self-esteem, we spend our time looking inwardly to simply boost our own pride. This is so anti-christian and anti-human. Humanity was created for community; Eve was created for Adam, woman created for man. The creation of community assumes that we need each other. When God created Adam, he said to him that “it is not good for man to be alone” then proceeded to create woman.

If we need each other, we also need each other to help us to see the blind spots that we are unable to see. 2 Timothy 3:16 explains this so well. It instructs us to use scripture for correction so “that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” We do need each other…we need each other to help us to learn and grow. If we lived on a deserted island with no one around, we would have no need to live peaceably and healthily with others. We would have no need for the “one another’s” given to us in the New Testament. We would have no need for scripture. Scripture was written with community in mind from the beginning in Genesis to the end in Revelation.

Christians, let’s use opportunities to help grow and teach our fellow brother’s and sister’s in Christ following his example of correction in gentleness founded and fueled by love. Let’s learn to live honest lives with others. Let’s continue to understand that lying to fellow human’s is doing them a disservice. You are building and fortifying their mistakes into their character rather than correcting it in gentleness and love and helping them to look more like Christ.

I am mostly writing this as a invitation for those around me to correct me and spur me on in love. Of course, I am very emotional, so gentleness is important, but I truly do value honesty in my friendships and relationships. I desire to grow and learn and become more like Christ. Help me to live this out and I promise to work at doing the same thing with you!

Job 5:17 – “Behold, blessed is the one whom God reproves;
therefore despise not the discipline of the Almighty.”

To Be Continued… =)

Struggling through what my future marriage should look like, wanting to be deeply involved in ministry within my home and outside my home. This video showed a huge problem among Christians and those involved in ministry, but looking to find deeper biblical solutions. In the near future, I will be researching this problem further.

As of late, I have really been learning the lesson of the importance of reading scripture. I mentioned in my last post about the new reading plan I have started. Grant Horner’s Bible Reading System (found at this link) has been an incredible system for me. I have learned so much and it has been so encouraging.

As I have been discussing how this system is changing my life, people have brought up to me different verses that have completely encouraged me and solidified to me why I am loving this new system.

Philippians 2 is one of those passages. It reads:

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”
(Philippians 4:4-9 ESV)

I have written about this passage before and how it has challenged my thinking on worrying, but I realized something while talking through this tonight…As I have always looked to this passage to help me to not worry, I did not realize how it impacts every other aspect of life. In everything, I always find myself anxious about something. In school, getting all of my work done; in driving, avoiding traffic or getting out of traffic; in relationships, making sure I am being a good friend; in my outward looks, that I meet up with societies “norms”/trends; in happiness, that I see myself a certain way or that others think of me a certain way; etc. In everything, I find myself anxious because I am not fixing my mind on Christ or things of Christ. I am relying on the world’s standards to rule my mind. Even today, I found myself getting so upset at the traffic on the freeway. Why? Because I was focused on myself.

The more and more I have spent in the word, immersing myself in scripture, the more I find myself with the peace of God that surpasses all understanding (Disclaimer: I do not think this is a magical, mystical feeling, but an understanding of my hope in Christ and my ultimate needs being met [sin]). My mind is on things not of this world so my first inclination is not to be anxious, but it is of Christ and how I can glorify him and know him more.

Psalm 119:11 – “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”

Psalm 119:105 – “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”

Proverbs 3:1-8 – “My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.
(Proverbs 3:1-8 ESV)

I re-looked at this passage tonight and realized that I always overlook verses 1-4…but they are crucial. Basically this verse is encouraging us to not forget the law or commandments (the Word) and to bind them to our necks and our hearts. The writer is encouraging us to trust in the Lord rather than our emotions (our own understanding) and our own eyes.

Realizing the last year of my life (since last May) has been so refreshing and healing to my flesh and bones. I have learned so much this last year and have been rejuvenated; I have been learning how to trust in the Lord. I have a joy for life because my goal is to trust in the Lord and not man.

I am thankful. 

To Be Continued… =)

I couldn’t sleep, so I decided instead of trying to shut up all the thoughts running through my mind, I would blog about them.

This past week has been absolutely wonderful. Among just spending great, quality time with some amazing friends, the Lord has been teaching me so much and through many different things.

One of the main things is through my classes. I am learning SO much about who Christ is, why I believe what I believe, what cultural things I have allowed to spill into my every day thoughts and choices, etc. I have been seriously blessed to have the professors that I have, specifically Dr. Lewis and Dr. Stokes. They have been so instrumental in everything I am learning. They have challenged me and reshaped what I thought Christianity was. They have not allowed me to be content with just “being” but have showed me the significance of reading/knowing scripture and interpreting it correctly, of looking at culture through the lens of scripture and determining if something is biblical or not, and of not looking to culture to shape my christianity and my life but to scripture to shape and inform my life and decisions.

Another thing that has made the last week so wonderful was a tool that my dear friend Jordan showed me. It is the Grant Horner Bible Reading System. Basically, you read 10 chapters of the Bible a day. He set it up strategically so that you read 10 chapters from the Old testament (Law, prophets, wisdom literature) and the New Testament (Gospels, Epistles, Early Church records[Acts]). It is also split up so that you read list 1-5 in the morning and list 6-10 in the evening [HA, well, usually the evening for me ends up being the early morning – 12:30AM or 1AM ;)]. This has been so beneficial and it honestly is so easy. It takes about 20-30 minutes max to read through the five chapters, but it is something that just honestly fills your cup (for lack of a better phrase). I was feeling so spiritually dry for about three months. I would sit down to read and my mind would automatically wander. I would be stressed out and rude to the people I loved around me. My mind was filled with crude jokes – and unfortunately they exited my mouth for the world to hear! I was honestly just in such a horrible place, living life to just graduate and move on from this place (my university). This week has been everything but those last few things that I have mentioned. I have clarity of my future, a mind filled with the Word rather than crude jokes, a desire for love and peace for the people around me, and so much more. I am so thankful for this tool.

One final thing I am thankful for are my dear friends – Alli, Tiffany, and Taylor. They have become some of my very best friends this year. They have seen some pretty nasty and ugly sides of me, but honestly, I think that is what has been so beautiful about our friendship. Our relationships are real. They get down to the nitty-gritty. There is an openness to our relationships. We can be honest; we can be vulnerable. Our friendships are a safe-zone. There is also critique and confrontation. There is an openness to share our frustrations and struggles. For so long after the events of the past year of my life, I struggled with how I was going to trust again, how I was going to open up. These friendships have taught me how to be vulnerable again, how to love, how to forgive, how to be honest and open. These girls are seriously AMAZING and so beautiful. And the men they are going to marry someday are honestly going to be the luckiest men on this planet. =)

Anyways, that is a little sneak peak into my life as of late. I have been overjoyed with the growth that has been opened up to me. I am thankful daily for the grace that the Lord has shown me over and over again in my life; I just hope I can show a fraction of that grace to those around me. Lord, help me to live to serve you and to show grace and mercy to those around me. Help me to exemplify you!

To Be Continued… =)