Month: March 2011

Thankful.

The LORD is so good and so faithful.

That is all. =)

Psalm 69:1-3, 13-16, 30-36

“Save me, O God!
        For the waters have come up to my neck.
     I sink in deep mire,
        where there is no foothold;
    I have come into deep waters,
        and the flood sweeps over me.
     I am weary with my crying out;
        my throat is parched.
    My eyes grow dim
        with waiting for my God.
 …
But as for me, my prayer is to you, O LORD.
        At an acceptable time, O God,
        in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness.
     Deliver me from sinking in the mire;
    let me be delivered from my enemies
        and from the deep waters.
     Let not the flood sweep over me,
        or the deep swallow me up,
        or the pit close its mouth over me.

    Answer me, O LORD, for your steadfast love is good;
        according to your abundant mercy, turn to me.
…
    I will praise the name of God with a song;
        I will magnify him with thanksgiving.
     This will please the LORD more than an ox
        or a bull with horns and hoofs.
     When the humble see it they will be glad;
        you who seek God, let your hearts revive.
     For the LORD hears the needy
        and does not despise his own people who are prisoners.

    Let heaven and earth praise him,
        the seas and everything that moves in them.
     For God will save Zion
        and build up the cities of Judah,
    and people shall dwell there and possess it;
         the offspring of his servants shall inherit it,
        and those who love his name shall dwell in it.”

So yesterday night, my lovely RA (resident assistant) staff and myself went through a lovely book and quiz called Strengths Finder (found at this website). It was really cool.

My freshman year we were required to go through the test and find our strengths in our FOCUS (First-Year Orientation and Christian University Success) Class. I thought it was cool then, but it is even cooler now that I am older and hopefully a little wiser.

The cool part about it is, both times, it was so accurate. I have a very easy time looking at my weaknesses, but a hard time finding my strengths. this was a very encouraging thing for me and I look forward to trying to continue working on my weaknesses and trying to strengthen my strengths.

~~~

Strengths Quest (See below for summaries of each)

My five strengths this time around were:
1) Context, 2) Restorative, 3) Individualization, 4) Strategic, 5) Developer.

My five strengths last time around were:
1) Individualization, 2) Developer, 3) Adaptability, 4) Empathy, 5) Input.

~~~

It doesn’t at all surprise me that the two I still have from last time (Developer and Individualization) are people related. And it doesn’t surprise me one bit that the five I have this time are all centered around people and events regarding people in the past and present. I love people. I love any chance to help people and to get to know people. These things are what drive me. Without people in my life, without helping them, and without seeing them succeed, I feel deprived and discouraged. I need those things in my life.

I noticed this about me starting in High School, but more into the second semester of my Freshman year at CBU. The Lord has placed this strong desire for community and people in my life and has given me a passion to see women succeed. When I do not have community, and when I do not have community with women, I get depressed. It is like the Lord is placing an internal alarm system inside of me reminding me of what he put me on this earth for.

Beyond having those communities and beyond seeing those women succeed, I desire to see the Lord glorified. The awesome thing about the two things stated above is that I can do those things and glorify the Lord in them. The Lord has given me a great purpose on this earth and that is to make his name known (as seen in the Psalms posted in my last blog post here). He has given me a gifting that helps me to do what those Psalms say and the whole Bible commands (Ephesians 2 is a great example of this command to live a holy life to bring Him glory).

I have gone through a time this last month or so of intense correction. Finding out my strengths could not have come at a better time. Learning my weaknesses to overcome them was great (and very difficult), but in order to keep succeeding I needed to learn more about my strengths to improve on them and to GROW!!! To all of you who have been so patient with me this month and in the past, thank you. To those of you who are constantly coming in contact with my weaknesses, I’m sorry. And to those of you who will get to help me improve my strengths, I’m excited! The Lord is good and He is teaching me so much about Himself and how we are to live according to the things He has given us in His Word.


Summary of Strengths
This Time Around:
1) Context: People who are especially talented in the Context theme enjoy thinking about the past. They understand the present by researching its history.
2) Restorative: People who are especially talented in the Restorative theme are adept at dealing with problems. They are good at figuring out what is wrong and resolving it.
3) Individualization: People who are especially talented in the Individualization theme are intrigued with the unique qualities of each person. They have a gift for figuring out how people who are different can work together productively.
4) Strategic: People who are especially talented in the Strategic theme create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues.
5) Developer: People who are especially talented in the Developer theme recognize and cultivate the potential in others. They spot the signs of each small improvement and derive satisfaction from these improvements.

Last Time Around:
1) Individualization: People who are especially talented in the Individualization theme are intrigued with the unique qualities of each person. They have a gift for figuring out how people who are different can work together productively.
2) Developer: People who are especially talented in the Developer theme recognize and cultivate the potential in others. They spot the signs of each small improvement and derive satisfaction from these improvements.
3) Adaptability: People who are especially talented in the Adaptability theme prefer to “go with the flow.” They tend to be “now” people who take things as they come and discover the future one day at a time.
4) Empathy: People who are especially talented in the Empathy theme can sense the feelings of other people by imagining themselves in others’ lives or others’ situations.
5) Input: People who are especially talented in the Input theme have a craving to know more. Often they like to collect and archive all kinds of information.

To Be Continued… =)

“Bless our God, O peoples;
        let the sound of his praise be heard,
     who has kept our soul among the living
        and has not let our feet slip.
     For you, O God, have tested us;
        you have tried us as silver is tried.
     You brought us into the net;
        you laid a crushing burden on our backs;
     you let men ride over our heads;
        we went through fire and through water;
    yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance.”
 (Psalm 66:8-12 ESV)

“May God be gracious to us and bless us
        and make his face to shine upon us, Selah
     that your way may be known on earth,
        your saving power among all nations.
     Let the peoples praise you, O God;
        let all the peoples praise you!

    Let the nations be glad and sing for joy,
        for you judge the peoples with equity
        and guide the nations upon earth. Selah
     Let the peoples praise you, O God;
        let all the peoples praise you!

    The earth has yielded its increase;
        God, our God, shall bless us.
     God shall bless us;
        let all the ends of the earth fear him!”
 (Psalm 67 ESV)

To Be Continued… =)

“Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow. Lilies are called to grow and be beautiful. And God clothes them, these little flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow. How much more will he take care of you? If he brings beauty into the world through these, how much more will he allow wonder and beauty and miracles to be produced in us, through us, from his hand? When we allow ourselves to dream, God takes sweet delight in reaching into them and grabbing by the fistful, shaping, molding, changing, bringing out the beautiful.“

“Calling often comes from a shattered dream.” Nobody likes this one, but it may be the most important. Sometimes the calling comes out of a beautiful dream and sometimes it comes out of brokenness. Heartache. Death. Loss. Disappointment. Is it possible that God can still bring out the beauty? Jesus says yes, fruit comes when the seed is planted and broken and dies. The story of God is built upon beauty made, then destroyed, then re-made better. There is bondage, but then freedom. There is blindness, but then sight. There is death, but then resurrection.“

These excerpts come from a blog I passed by earlier today written by a lady named Emily Freeman called “Chatting at the Sky.” I felt like a lot of what she had to say is so relevant to my life, and I’m sure to many other people as well. I have so many dreams and so many wishes, but they can only become “true” when they are founded in the Lord.

Sometimes, He will take those dreams and make them into glorious masterpieces. Sometimes, He will take those dreams and break them into a million pieces only to start over and make something so beautiful that you had no idea how he could turn those messed up, broken pieces into something so unique, beautiful, and wonderful!

Looking forward to the day when I am complete. When His artwork/tapestry/painting/ceramic/drawing/sculpture/etc. of my life is finished. Until then, I will strive to live a holy life. I will strive to live for God’s glory. I will strive to lift His name up. I will strive to find beauty in the not-so-beautiful, joy in gloom, uniqueness in the ordinary, spontaneity in my strict routine, laughter in times of mourning, smiles in times of tears, peace in times of unrest and calamity, life in times of death, and God in the godlessness of this world.

Lastly, I will end with a Psalm that has just touched my heart and truly shown me that joy doesn’t come from circumstances, people, things, places, feelings, and emotions, but joy comes from the Lord and in Him only:

“You have put more joy in my heart
        than they have when their grain and wine abound.

    In peace I will both lie down and sleep;
        for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.“

 (Psalm 4:7-8 ESV)

~~~

And watch this video By: Amena Brown called “Masterpiece”:

Today, as I drove to school to pick up Bekah to take her home for spring break, there was a beautiful sunset! If you know me, you know this is one of my favorite things.  As I drove, the windows were down, and the wonderful smell of orange blossoms were starting to float through the air. This smell reminds me of summer…which I am so excited for!! Orange Blossoms, sunsets, and summer: these things make the next month and a half (ish) of school seem so much shorter and summer so much closer. The excitement is mounting!!

Hebrews 10:23
“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.”

To Be Continued… =)

“Your Love is Strong”
-Jon Foreman

“Heavenly Father
You always amaze me
Let Your kingdom come in my world
And in my life

Give me the food I need
To live through today
Forgive me as I forgive
The people that wrong me

Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window
The birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune
Or out of place

I walk to the meadow
And stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl
On her wedding day

So why should I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need!

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

The kingdom of the heavens
Is now advancing
Invade my heart
Invade this broken town

The kingdom of the heavens
Is buried treasure
Would you sell yourself
To buy the one you’ve found

Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong
Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

Our God in Heaven
Hallowed be Thy name
Above all names
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in Heaven
Give us, today, our daily bread
Forgive us weary sinners
Keep us far from our vices
And deliver us from these prisons”

Self Explanatory.

“Love is Waiting”
Brooke Fraser

“In the autumn on the ground,
between the traffic and the ordinary sounds
I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through
I watch as lovers pass me by
Walking stories – whos and hows and whys
Musing lazily on love
Pondering you
I’ll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell
When it’s time to walk that way we wanna walk it well

[CHORUS:]
I’ll be waiting for you baby
I’ll be holding back the darkest night
Love is waiting til we’re ready, til it’s right
Love is waiting

It’s my caution not the cold
there’s no other hand that i would rather hold
the climate changes, I’m singing for the strangers about you
don’t keep time, slow the pace
Honey hold on if you can
the bets are getting surer now that you’re my man

[CHORUS]

[BRIDGE:]
I could write a million songs about the way you say my name
I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again
and like I can’t force the sun to rise or hasten summer’s start,
neither should I rush my way into your heart.”

~~~

“Be still, and know that I am God.
  I will be exalted among the nations,
  I will be exalted in the earth!” 
  -Psalm 46:10

To Be Continued… =)

I’m pretty sure this blog is more for me than it is for anyone else. I know that is selfish, but I can group my thoughts here better than any other place besides my journal or to my best friend. =)

~~~

This weekend has been quite the reminiscent weekend for some reason. With school halfway over, it starting to warm up and remind me of summer, spring break showing up in a week, taking pictures of my youth girls yesterday and sitting at McDonald’s for hours drinking Chevron sodas, spending time at church, and a lovely birthday celebration for my youth girl Karis who is turning 13 tomorrow, reminiscing only seems necessary. Last night, after the photoshoot, I found myself listening to Rascal Flatts “My Wish” singing along to all the songs and thinking about high school and the days me and my best friends would drive to the beach with the windows rolled down screaming all of their songs. Rascal Flatts AND Taylor Swift of course. I can’t help but think back to the days when I was 13, young, anxious for my later years, and wishing I had braces, glasses, and could drive. Weird, I know.

Now, here I am. 20 (21 in less than a month). I had braces. I should have glasses. I’m getting ready to finish my junior year in college. I am getting old. I know all you older people who are reading this will probably roll your eyes and say I am not old and I have my whole life to live, but I am old. Life is so fleeting. I have lived 21 years on this planet…how did that happen? That is a lot! I am a lot older than the 12-or-13 year old several years ago whose biggest dream was to be in high school. I am a lot different than that girl in junior high and elementary school who just wanted the boy who sat next to her in class to like her. I am a lot different than that girl who wasn’t good at sports and only liked pink. 

I would venture to say I am a woman now. That I have grown into my body. That I could take care of myself if I lived on my own. That life would take it’s blows and I’d be alright. The waves and storms would come and I’d still be standing. Life is funny like that. Though it is hard, and life is rough, it is so rewarding. The things you go through now, the hard stuff, mature you and make you into who you are supposed to be later in life. And, the things we go through now are only ordained by the Lord. Nothing in our life would come into fruition if it weren’t for the Lord’s work in my life; if it weren’t for his will.

Isaiah 40:6-8 says it so well:

“A voice says, “Cry!”
        And I said, “What shall I cry?”
    All flesh is grass,
        and all its beauty is like the flower of the field.
     The grass withers, the flower fades
        when the breath of the LORD blows on it;
        surely the people are grass.
     The grass withers, the flower fades,
        but the word of our God will stand forever.”

The writer compares us to grass and our beauty as the flower of the field. All flesh and beauty will eventually die because the Lord has power over it. It says that “the grass withers, and flower fades when the breath of the Lord blows on it; surely the people are grass” (v 7). The Lord has power over my life: how many years I will live, who I will come in contact with, who will leave my life, what I will do, what organizations or jobs I will be involved with, etc. The Lord knows and directs it all. The Lord has power over it all. 

With that said, so much of my life is uncertain as it always is. So much of my life is filled with things that are pending. I believe I wrote a blog about that about a year or two ago from now about how all the things in my life are at a standstill and I am just waiting to hear back from so many different things.

This summer, I have a job offer to work at Mt. Hermon to be a counselor for Amata. This camp is amazing and serves young women from 8th-11th grades only. It has longer sessions, two weeks instead of one, at a time. And it is more intensive, more discipleship driven. It goes from June to August. This camp would be awesome, but so would a full time job. Pending…

Next year, I have a job offer to work with Residents life again as an Resident Assistant. I will be working in the dorms with freshman women. Also very intensive and discipleship driven because you are working with the girls 24/7 for 9 months of the school year living with them. Also such a great opportunity. Pending…

Right now, there are so many decisions. The two above are pretty big, but there are so many other big and little decisions to make. The Lord has given me everything. The Lord could also take away everything…with one breath of his lungs and it could wither and fade. Pending…

With this knowledge brings a great perspective:

If the Lord is in charge of it all and if he has ordained everything to be as it is in my life, then seeking the Lord better be high priority on my list of To Do’s. Also, if the Lord is in charge of it all and if he has ordained everything to be as it is in my life, what I desire to do is ultimately not important; it is what the Lord wants. ANDDD, if the Lord is in charge of it all and if he has ordained everything to be as it is in my life, everything I choose to do should be with his Glory and Name in mind and action. With all these decisions and with my life going into the direction it is going, I better be very careful with what I choose.

I read recently in Psalms 37 and it was a blessing:  

     “Trust in the LORD, and do good;
        dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
     Delight yourself in the LORD,
        and he will give you the desires of your heart.

    Commit your way to the LORD;
        trust in him, and he will act.
     He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
        and your justice as the noonday.

    Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
        fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way,
        over the man who carries out evil devices!”

My prayer for my future plans is that:
1) the Lord will be glorified.
2) that I would trust in the Lord.
3) That I would wait patiently for him.
4) That I would keep the right perspective of the Lord to myself. He is great, I am weak. I need him desperately.
5) That I will delight myself in the Lord so that my desires become his desires.
6) That I will commit my way to Him and Him only.
7) That my full joy and satisfaction would come from him and not the deadly ways of the world.
8) That I would continue to fall in love with the Bride Groom and that as His bride, I would seek purity and holiness in my life.
9)That in every decision I make in the next couple of months, that I would seek the Lord and pursue him.
10) and finally, that I would love through word and deed. That what I say would make an impact on peoples lives. That what I DO would have an impact on people’s lives.

The Lord is good!!!

~~~

Here’s several pictures for your enjoyment…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To Be Continued… =)